humor – Page 71 – Go Retire Psychiatrist

How Are Water Heaters and Jugglers Alike?

Let’s start off with a riddle I think I made up. I can’t find it anywhere on the web:

How are water heaters and jugglers alike? The answer is at the end of this post.

I’m still practicing the shower juggling pattern. Progress is slow. I found a YouTube channel called YouJuggle. It’s this guy called JuggleMan, a professional juggler who is older than I am. His site has way over 10 million views. He describes and demonstrates how to do the shower a little differently than other jugglers do. The title of the video is “How to Juggle Three Balls in a Circle.” It’s for beginners.

He teaches the two-ball practice by showing that you start with two balls in the dominant hand, then toss them both up. Then before the second ball drops you pass the first ball over to the non-dominant hand. You almost have to slap it because it comes down so quick. Now I understand why my Learning to Juggle book says almost exactly that:

“Take two balls, one in each hand, and do the schoolyard throw. Toss a ball into the air as an over-the-top throw with your strong hand, then pass the other ball by the short route to the strong hand. Actually, it’s more of a slap of the ball from one hand to the other.”

Then the author tells you to take 3 balls and “just go for it.” Right. The instruction is the same as others have; you have to throw two of them from the strong hand, one right after the other, …” following the same path as the first, and then slap the third into your empty strong hand…”

Anyway, guided by JuggleMan, so far, I feel like I’m making a tiny bit more progress moving from the 3-ball toss and catch to even trying one extra throw.

The key is to time the tosses so that there is even space between each of the three balls. That’s to avoid getting that rushed feeling, because it’s a very fast pattern.

For me, trying to juggle the shower pattern is a lot like trying to take a cold shower. I had experience with this when our water heater failed. We learned to take really fast showers.

But I don’t want to do the shower fast—I just want to do it. Speaking of water heaters, here’s the answer to that riddle for you:

How are water heaters like jugglers?

Answer: They both get rusty. And that’s why jugglers practice.

Thoughts on Artificial Intelligence

Sena and I just read Dr. Ron Pies fascinating essay describing his interaction with Google Bard Artificial Intelligence (AI). As usual, this made me think of several movies with AI as a central theme. There are several: I, Robot (I wrote a post about this a couple of years ago), Blade Runner, The Matrix, 2001: A Space Odyssey, even Wall-E, a favorite for me and Sena.

If you’ve seen Blade Runner, you might remember a device called the Voight-Kampff Test, an empathy test to distinguish replicants (humanoids or more broadly, AI) from humans. Interestingly, there’s an article speculating about using it to see if ChatGPT (another AI made by the company OpenAI) could pass the test. It didn’t, of course, if appearing to seem genuinely human is the benchmark.

We thought the conversation between Dr. Pies and Bard was very entertaining and thought-provoking. We both wonder how Bard would have responded if the question had been slightly reframed regarding the patient with schizophrenia who might or might not have been speaking metaphorically about his brain being “…a plaster ceiling with pieces falling on the floor.”

What if you ask Bard a more open-ended sentence, something like “What do you think a patient with schizophrenia means when he says that? If Bard hadn’t been tipped off by mentioning the issues of metaphor and mental illness, how might it have responded?

Bard’s answer to Dr. Pies’ question about what Bard means when it refers to itself as “I” in its responses. It says it doesn’t mean “I” to imply it’s human. I guess you wouldn’t need the Voight-Kampff test given this kind of honesty.

Just so you know, when Sena and I discussed this article we both caught ourselves calling Bard by typical human pronouns like “he” and “his” instead of “it.”

We also speculated about where you could use an AI like Bard in practical situations. We thought of it replacing those dreadful automated telephone answering machines. Bard would be too bright for that and it would probably not sound very different from the usual machines.

What about something more challenging like answering questions about the new Iowa Income Tax Law, exempting retirees from having state taxes withheld? It’s in effect now and the rollout has been somewhat complex. We think it’s because of communication about who is responsible for getting the ball rolling and what roles the Iowa Department of Revenue, the companies’ plan administrators who are withholding state taxes, and the retirees are expected to play.

There are ways to get answers to questions which don’t involve automated telephone answering machines. Amazingly, you can talk to real people. Sometimes you don’t even have long wait times on the phone before reaching someone who has very little information and has to put you on hold “briefly.”

Don’t get me wrong; we think the exclusion of retirement income from state taxes in Iowa is a good thing. Getting information about who does what and when is challenging though. I wonder what Bard would have done.

Retiree: Bard, who’s supposed to move first, the retiree or the plan administrator on what to do about state tax withholding?

Bard: That’s a good question and the issue is likely to produce anxiety on both sides.

Retiree: Right. How does this shindig get started?

Bard: If the state and the companies had got together on the issues earlier and prepared algorithms for me to choose from, I would be in a much better position to answer that question. Would you like me to sing “On A Bicycle Built for Two” now?

Retiree: No thanks, Bard. I was wondering if you knew why some companies making payments to retirees didn’t reach out early on to them and send letters describing options on how to approach decisions for making changes to state tax withholding in light of the new tax law.

Bard: That is another good question. It brings to mind a quote by Isaac Asimov in his book, I Robot: “You are the only one responsible for your own wants.”

Retiree: Hmmmm. I guess that makes sense. What if state taxes are erroneously withheld, despite your wishes and instructions? What happens then?

Bard: That seems to imply an old saying, “The buck stops here.” This means that whoever is making decisions is ultimately responsible for them. It is attributed to President Harry S. Truman. It is based on a metaphorical expression, “passing the buck,” which has been in turn derived from poker game play. I have not been programmed with any further information about the game of poker. Has this been helpful? I want to be as helpful as I can.

Retiree: Well, you’re helpful in a way. I have heard that some plan administrators are not stopping state tax withholdings despite clear instructions otherwise. It seems that the Iowa Department of Revenue is on the hook for refunding them to retirees (here, the retiree winks).

Bard: What does that mean (referring to the wink)?

Retiree: “It’s a sign of trust. It’s a human thing. You wouldn’t understand.” (Quote from I, Robot movie, Detective Del Spooner to Sonny the robot.)

Anyway, I think AI would be overwhelmed by all this. In any case, the only way to complicate things this much is to involve humans.

Another Deer Hassles the Tabby

Yesterday, we saw another episode of a whitetail deer hassling the blond and white tabby who was just minding its own business hunting for mice. The deer was definitely not pleased and tried to scare the cat off.

They don’t get along, probably because deer and cats are natural enemies.

You got to hand it to the cat who just kept hunting despite the deer glaring and stomping its feet. Under pressure, the cat caught two mice, right in front of the deer.

That tabby’s got nerves of steel.

The Other Feral Tabby Catches Lunch

This is the companion to yesterday’s post about the gray Feral Tabby and its encounter with the whitetail deer.

This cat is orange and white and it might be a litter mate to the gray one, just a guess. It does a great job of hunting for mice.

And it caught one!

Juggling My Birthday Glow Balls

Hey, it’s my birthday and it turns out the juggling glow balls are my early gift. Sena decorated my cake, using cookie icing that sort of spread out.

You got to love the birthday card she got for me. “Selective Listening Ensures the Survival of Man.” Or at least this man.

Just for the occasion I juggled my glow balls. I can program the color changes, but it’s sort of a numbers game. You have to click the right number of times to make your selection. Sena likes the 1UP2UP trick.

And according to someone who wrote the book, “Age is just a number and mine’s unlisted.”—Manya Nogg. OK, so you probably first heard it like I did, from the lady on the Boost High Protein Nutritional Drink commercial.

I don’t really feel my age, and nor do I act it. I do not drink Boost—yet.

Eyes of a Child

Sena wonders if I’m ever going to use Patsy Cline’s tune “If I Could See the World (Through the Eyes of a Child) in a blog post. She also brought home a potted plant she bought, an Easter Lily, ahead of Easter Sunday on April 9th next week. I thought of a couple of things, and of course one is a quote from Men in Black 3:

Agent O: “Agent K is dead!”

Agent J: “Well, I just talked to him last night!”

Agent O: “You are imagining things.”

Agent J: “I’m not imagining anything. Aqua Velva after shave! I didn’t imagine that. Where every stakeout, endless hours of cowboy music.”

Agent J and I have a few things in common. One of them is a mild dislike for country western (cowboy by extension) music. I can’t help it OK; the Patsy Cline tune is one of those.

I’m the first to admit I’m not a Bible scholar, but I’m going to talk a little bit about the apparent contradictions between being childish and childlike in the Bible. The reason is that the lyrics in “If I Could See the World” is either an obvious or accidental reference to the seeming contradiction between being like a child in one sense and in another sense, growing up and putting away childish things.

There’s no contradiction if you remember the scripture quotes are in different contexts. In childhood, we’re innocent, trusting, and open. Being open to the kingdom of heaven is the context for that. On the other hand, another context is when we grow up and recognize the duplicity in other people and the inevitable push to learn how to lie. If you don’t tell Aunt Clara that you love her gift of fruitcake at Christmas, you will be grounded for a week.

OK, so that’s the extent of my Bible scholarship.

I’m not a credible music critic either. But it’s easy to see the connection of the Patsy Cline song “If I Could See the World (Through the Eyes of a Child) to the book of Matthew. At the same time, the lyrics ignore the book of Corinthians, which tells how important it is to give up being childish. You need to lie to get by sometimes, although Agent J has trouble telling just where and when to stop lying. Much of MIB 3 is about the conflict over telling the truth and lying.

Come to think of it, that conflict could be much of what life is about.

Agent J after finally telling young Agent K that Boris the Animal will kill him when he goes to Florida to stop Boris, and that’s what Agent J wants to prevent: “I know I told you everything but…”

Young Agent K punches him in the nose: “That’s for lying to me! He punches Agent J again and says, “And that’s for telling me the truth!”

The Patsy Cline song is about seeing all of the good and none of the bad, all of the right and none of the wrong—and how wonderful that would be. Could it be ironic? On the other hand, in the real world of grownups, maybe Griffin has the idea:

Griffin: “The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.” Well, sometimes.

“Stink, Stank, Stunk!”

I’m just puzzled lately over what seems like a contradiction between two ideas I’ve seen in the news and in TV commercials. It’s all about body odor.

There is this study that was recently published about stinky armpit odor possibly making the practice of mindfulness meditation more effective.

This contrasts with the usual meaning of body odor, which is that it’s to be avoided and prevented at all costs. And, the newest total body odor eliminator product is getting heavy rotation in TV commercials and its name rhymes, (possibly fittingly) with “looney.” I’m just going to frankly admit that I can’t stand watching the commercial.

There is this old timer product called Ex-Odor that was marketed in the early 1900s by a company called Gordon Gordon, Ltd. The label said it “Removes All Body Odors.” It was touted as “safe, sure, lasting” and it cost only ten cents. The original label actually did italicize the word “All.” On the other hand, Looney is a lot more expensive—just sayin’.

The armpit odor study and Looney definitely send opposite messages about body odor.

In fact, there is a psychiatric disorder marked by an intense preoccupation with smelling bad. I think it’s still called Olfactory Reference Disorder (ORD). Almost any part of the body could stink and could lead to showering several times a day or visits to ENT doctors to get “infected” and therefore smelly tonsils removed. The disorder not uncommonly gets requests for consultation-liaison psychiatrists to get involved.

Olfactory Reference Disorder can lead to severe, even disabling, social anxiety. It can lead to beliefs that have delusional intensity.

Often, those with ORD firmly believe they emit a foul odor, often from armpits, or inguinal, anal, and oral areas. Some seek surgical treatment. There are many other disorders which consultation-liaison psychiatrists need to remember in order to distinguish ORD from them. Combined cognitive behavioral therapy, possibly along with medication can be recommended as treatment.

Stuck in Two Ball Shower Juggling Practice

I get stuck at certain stages in juggling. It’s uglier than usual with learning the Shower. I’m struggling with the two-ball practice. I’ve looked at the YouTube videos of several experts and their demos vary.

I found out from a Wikipedia article that the two ball Shower is a thing. But it’s not juggling. I’ve been stuck in ugly juggling learning stages before. I’m thinking I’ll get through it.

Sena is still learning to juggle. She’s eager to try the three ball Cascade. We’re both dropping balls all over the place.

Hello, I’m Dr. James Caramel Brown

I read Dr. Moffic’s article, “The United States Psychiatric Association: Social Psychiatric Prediction #4”. I think the rationale for renaming the American Psychiatric Association makes sense.

However, it also got me thinking about the names of other associations connected to the APA (here meaning American Psychiatric Association). One of them is the Black Psychiatrists of America, Inc. We make up about 2% of psychiatrists in the United States.

It also reminded me to once again do a web search for the term “Black psychiatrists in Iowa.” It turns out the results would lead to a repeat of my previous post “Black Psychiatrists in Iowa” on May 7, 2019. Nothing has changed. My colleague Dr. Donald Black, MD is still coming up in the search. Just as a reminder, he’s not black.

It probably comes as no surprise to readers of my blog that this also reminds me of a couple of Men in Black scenes.

Video of Men in Black scene, Dr. Black and Dr. White quotes.

And my post still appears high up in the list of web sites. There has also not been published a more recent edition of the Greater Iowa African American Resource Guide than the one in 2019. You can still find my name and that of Dr. Rodney J. Dean listed in the 2019 edition as the only black psychiatrists in Iowa.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m retired. I have never considered changing my name and title to Dr. James Caramel Brown. If you noticed that the “Caramel Brown” part is from Men in Black 3 (Agent J talking about what Agent K should say about his skin color in his eulogy for him), give yourself a pat on the back.

Agent J: Can you promise me something, if I go first, you’ll do better than that at my funeral? Yeah, something like, uh: “J was a friend. Now there’s a big part of me that’s gone. Oh, J, all the things I should have said, except I was too old and craggy and surly and just tight. I was too tight. Now, I’m gonna just miss your caramel-brown skin.”

Agent K: I’ll wing something.

Anyway, I’m not sure what to do about renaming the American Psychiatric Association. But I think whoever is in charge of google search results for the term “black psychiatrists in Iowa” could improve on the current situation.