The Excitable Electrons

I’ve talked about some of my college professors when I was attending, Huston-Tillotson College in the 1970s. It’s an HBCU in Austin, Texas. But I haven’t talked about my teachers elsewhere. That just occurred to me in the last few days. I had some exciting teachers at Iowa State University in Ames in the early 1980s. Three of them come to mind. I’ll refer to them as Dr. X; Dr. Y; and Dr. Z. I don’t have any long stories about them; just a few short anecdotes that struck me as interesting or slightly odd.

Dr. X was my microbiology professor. He was very intelligent. I remember our class was in the lab one day and I asked him if the colonies growing on my agar plate were encapsulated microorganisms or not. He pointed at the glistening puddle in my plate and just said, a bit impatiently, “That’s capsule!” I remember being a little embarrassed, but all he was doing was demonstrating that capsule through a microscope looks different when you view it with the naked eye. One day, during a class lecture, he shared with all of us that he’d been having some personal challenges. He said that his divorce had just been finalized and announced dramatically, “I am now available for dates.” I couldn’t tell whether he was just kidding or making a pass at the female members of the class. It was a little awkward, but we got past it.

Dr. Y was one of my chemistry professors. He lectured while writing on a blackboard with a piece of chalk. I realize this is now an ancient rite in the modern age of PowerPoint, which didn’t really get up to speed until after 1987. He highlighted major points and separated them by drawing a line between them. His fingers were always caked with chalk dust. There was no smoking in any of the lecture halls. However, one day after the end of lecture, a student approached him and told him he was joining the military. Dr. Y evidently knew the student and immediately struck up a conversation which looked and sounded like a father talking to a son. He hopped up on the table in front of the chalkboard, took out a cigarette and smoked it. He asked him, “When you leaving?” evidently referring to when the young man would be shipping out. I got the impression Dr. Y was an old military man himself.

I think the most interesting of the three professors was Dr. Z. He was also a chemistry professor, and early in his career. He wore his hair long, talked hip, and appealed to the young audience. He didn’t really use the chalkboard much. He had a flair for the dramatic. One day, he was talking about the periodic table in relation to electrons and their excitability the further they get away from the nucleus because they’re less tightly bound to it. Dr. Z used the table in the front of the chalkboard like a stage. First, he hopped up on the table and started jumping up and down a little, showing how electrons get excited. He grabbed a few chairs and put one of them on the table. He set a chair on the table and climbed on the chair. He then did a little jitterbugging on the chair, and waved his arms about, exclaiming “I’m an electron and I’m getting excited!” He managed to set another chair on top of the first chair and gingerly clambered upon it. He was a little slower about standing up, and the tower jiggled a bit—which made him pause. For a split second, I thought he was going to take a tumble and smack the nucleus. But he hung in there, slowly rose to a stand and waving his arms, proclaimed “I’m a really excited electron now,” or something like that. The class collectively held its breath. Dr. Z was a very excited electron—and managed to safely return to a lower energy state without breaking a leg.

Students remember teachers like these.

Shoveling Through Retirement Thoughts

I was just musing on Philip Rivers. You know about him. I blogged recently about his coming out of retirement to play quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts. I guess you already know this, but he retired again.

Unlike Philip Rivers, I’ve not even considered coming out of retirement since I left my position at The University of Iowa Health Care (UIHC) over 5 years ago. I never looked back.

But that doesn’t mean I never think about looking back. I look back a lot and that’s mostly because I’m an old guy. I was a consulting psychiatrist in the general hospital.

Anyway, occasionally I search my name on the web and laugh at what comes up. I never went to Baylor College of Medicine, much less graduated from there.

I did a few things when I was a doctor. Not all of them were about work, but most of them were.

Those who know me know that I always hated Maintenance of Certification (MOC). I checked the American Board of Psychiatry & Neurology website and my MOC contribution to continuing education is still there. It’s a clinical module on Delirium, which a lot of doctors and other health care practitioners see every day in the hospital. Dr. Emily Morse worked on it as well. She’s still working at UIHC.

I co-edited a book about consultation-liaison psychiatry with my former chair of the Psychiatry Dept, Dr. Robert G. Robinson, may he rest in peace. It’s “Psychosomatic Medicine: An Introduction to Consultation-Liaison Psychiatry.” You can buy it on Amazon—please.

I wrote a case report on catatonia caused by withdrawal from lorazepam (a benzodiazepine), and it’s still available. It was first published in Annals of Psychiatry.

But one of the things I’m proudest of doing was writing a short article for the University of Iowa Library for Open Access Week.

In it, I tell a short anecdote about my lofty (OK, a better word is “greedy”) thoughts about how much money I could make shoveling snow. I was just a kid and I never made it outside to shovel anybody’s walk because I was too busy calculating my income. I wrote that way back when I had another blog, The Practical Psychosomaticist. The photo of me shows my Leonard Tow Humanism in Medicine pin fixed to my lapel—another thing I’m proud of. By the way “Tow” rhymes with “Wow.”

Libraries have always been my one of my favorite places to hang out. Anyway, I’ve got more time to do things like hang out in general. I think Philip Rivers will adjust.

Pondering a Mystery in My Past at Huston-Tillotson University

I found a photo of me in the Downs-Jones Library files at Huston-Tillotson University (formerly Huston-Tillotson College) today. It’s the featured image for this post. I was going down memory lane looking at old pictures of former classmates and teachers at H-TU and—there I was. It’s a photo of me in 1975, and it looks like I’m sitting in the Downs-Jones Library on campus posing for the picture. I don’t remember sitting for it. I had hair then and afros were in style.

I was a little worried about copyright issues just downloading or printing the image until I finally noticed the icons for doing both on the web page. I guess they wouldn’t be there if it were prohibited.

What’s also funny is that the caption above my picture says “James Amos—Reporter.” This meant that I was contributing to the college newspaper, The Ramshorn Journal. Funny thing is, I couldn’t remember writing anything for it.

I tried to find copies of the Ramshorn Journal for 1975, but there were only records for issues published in the early to mid-1960s. I guess I’ll never know what I wrote, if anything.

I’m surprised there would be any photos of me at all since I didn’t graduate from H-TU but transferred to Iowa State University and graduated from there in 1985.

I clipped out my photo from a few others. The group included the sponsor of the Ramshorn Journal, the editor, and the typist. That makes it looks I was a part of the staff. I’ll be darned if I remember doing anything for it. If I had written anything, I would think I’d have kept copies. But I have no documents proving it. I don’t have copies of the Ramshorn either. I’m a writer by inclination and habit so this is a mystery.

As I looked through yearbooks, I couldn’t find anyone I could ask about it either. That makes sense because it was 50 years ago. On the other hand, if there are digitized issues of the Ramshorn Journal from the 1960s, there might be some later issues kept somewhere in the library. Maybe there’s something with my byline on it.

If I get curious enough about it, I might ask somebody at the Downs-Jones Library if they could check on it.

Hearing an Old Song

I have to admit that I’ve been mis-hearing some of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs, “Lean on Me” for the past fifty-odd years since Bill Withers wrote it. It stayed on the top of the charts for more than 3 weeks back in 1972. That was a special time in my life; and not an easy one.

Back then, you couldn’t just look up song lyrics or anything else for that matter on the world wide web. It didn’t exist yet. I’ve always been prone to mondegreens and I finally found out that I was hearing something different in the verse:

“Please swallow your pride

if I have things (faith?) you need to borrow

For no one can fill

those of your needs

That you won’t let show”

Just to let you know, I found lyrics in one YouTube that substituted the word “faith” for “things”. Think about that one. I don’t know how to settle it, so if anybody knows which word is right, please comment. Anyway, it’s a little embarrassing and revelatory that I heard “…if I have pain…”  instead of “…if I have things (or faith)…” And I never really heard “…That you won’t let show.”

Yet I lived it.

Years later, after I’d finished college, medical school, residency in psychiatry, and had taught residents and medical students at the University of Iowa for a number of years, one of my colleagues, Scott, a brilliant psychologist and writer, stopped by my office one day. This was years ago.

His name is Scott and he suggested that it would be nice to get together sometime soon to catch up. I deferred and I remembered he replied while looking off down the hallway, “I’m 70.”  I wonder if he meant he didn’t know how much more time he had left.

Scott and I had taken similar paths in the middle of our careers at Iowa. I wanted to try private practice and left for Madison, Wisconsin. Scott got the same idea and left for a position in Hershey, Pennsylvania. We both regretted it and soon after returned to Iowa. I swallowed my pride and came back because I loved teaching. I think he returned for the same reason. We were both grateful that the UIHC Psychiatry Dept. Chair, Bob Robinson, welcomed both us of back.

I touched base with Scott a little while ago. We’re both retired. I was trying to find out how to contact Bob about messages I was getting from the publisher of our consult psychiatry handbook. Neither Scott or I could find out what was going on with Bob, who retired several years ago and moved back East. It turned out he had died. Sometimes we all have sorrow.

Scott is my friend, and I leaned on him a long time ago. I’m unsure if I let it show. I’m 70 and I’m grateful to him.

On that note, I’m finding out that I can’t walk all the way to the mall and back anymore. On the other hand, I can walk about half that distance. It’s about a mile and a half out to the Clear Creek Trail and back. There’s a lot of uphill and downhill stretches along the way. I can manage that.

And Sena bought me a couple of pairs of new shoes that I’m breaking in that will probably be easier on my feet and my calves. They’re Skecher slip-ons, not to be confused with the no hands slip-ins. I’m used to slip-ons. I tried one pair out today, in fact. Before I left, I took a few pictures of Sena’s new garden. As usual, she’s planting new flowers. The dogwood tree looks great. She’s even excited about the wild phlox. I can’t keep track of everything else out there. She makes the beauty out there.

And I lean on her for that.

The Zamboni Effect

I was walking around the mall today doing ordinary old guy things: watching the Zamboni machine resurface the ice rink, which I’ve never seen before, by the way. The surface was pretty dull before the Zamboni team started. There were two kids in the seat, one young lady driving and the other young man pointing out spots she missed. They went around and around getting the thin layer of water on the whole rink while eager skaters waited to get out there. They rejuvenated the rink, got it shining like crystal and skaters spun, twirled, and had a great time. It was the Zamboni Effect.

After that, I got up and did my usual thing, looked at books in Barnes & Noble, got a bite to eat, wondered why the mall security guy was walking by the bench so often where I was sitting. After his third pass, I got up and did my best to look like a solid citizen who is aware that loitering might look sinister to some mall security guys.

And when I wandered back to the tables next to the ice rink, I sat down again because the mall security guy was nowhere in sight. While I was just zoning out watching people pass by, one of them stopped and made a funny face at me. For a half-second, he didn’t register in my memory and then he called me by name. I suddenly recognized him as a former resident in the Medical-Psychiatry training program at University of Iowa Health Care (UIHC). It was Ravneet, one of the best trainees I have ever had the pleasure to work with.

It was kind of a shock. He had left for a great position with a health care organization out in Arizona many years ago and is very successful. He and his wife and daughter were on vacation and were walking through the mall. His son is also a high-level performer in science but he was not with them today. Ravneet takes time out every so often to travel like that. I’m sure it helps rejuvenate him—kind of like how the Zamboni machine rejuvenates the ice rink–the Zamboni Effect.

We exchanged pleasantries, he took a selfie with me, and I forgot to ask him to send me a copy, probably because I was so flabbergasted at running into him at the mall. It really brightened my day. Again—the Zamboni Effect. I really felt rejuvenated.

Every now and then, we all need the Zamboni Effect. Maybe it could even help the mall security guy.

Old School

We were reminiscing about our elementary school days following a discussion of news article about what some educators want to do with the school day schedule. Apparently, kids are pretty sleepy in class and teachers think it’s because they’re sleep deprived. Apparently, they’re not getting enough sleep at night and the proposal is that the school day schedule ought to be pushed ahead, the day starting at 9 AM instead of 8 AM.

Maybe the kids should be off their electronic devices a little earlier in the evening.

I guess there have been studies supporting this idea for years, but of course I hadn’t heard of it. Nobody seems to be in a hurry to change the system.

What we remembered were the consequences imposed by teachers and principals when we didn’t perform up to expectations in class, or misbehaved in class or on the playground.

Sena had a little trouble with remembering the vowels, a e i o u and sometimes y. She had so much trouble with it that she had to stay after school to write that out over and over on two big blackboards. It took quite a while. That was back in the days when blackboards were big and covered one entire wall of the classroom. There was always more chalk available if she ran out. Sometimes the penalty for her not paying attention was a few sharp raps on the top of her head with a No.2 pencil. Most often it was for talking out of turn or not paying attention.

I got caught a couple of times for throwing snowballs on the playground. I think it was at least a couple of times. The consequence for this infraction was to sit in the principal’s office drawing little circles resembling snowballs on a sheet of paper. They had to be small so that it took you a long time to fill up the paper. If you made them too big, the principal made you flip the sheet over and do it again. I think if you got writer’s cramp, you had to switch hands.

My brother and I had to walk to and from school. We had to get up early and sometimes the snow was up to our knees. It was about a half-mile walk to school. One winter day, I was walking home and found a dog frozen stiff as a statue next to the sidewalk.

I spent most of time after lunch looking at the clock, wishing the hands would move faster to 3 PM, when school let out. I would walk home and because I was a latchkey kid, I just let myself in the house.

I guess moving the time up so that kids can be more awake during the morning wouldn’t hurt anything. Maybe the curriculum will be simplified a little bit too. Things like geography could be easier. You could change the name of the Gulf of Mexico (or is it the Gulf of America now?) to something that makes more sense—like the Gulf of Water.

If you can’t learn that, maybe you need to have your head rapped with a No.2 pencil.

The Incredible Shrinking Headshrinker

Last week we saw the 1957 movie “The Incredible Shrinking Man” on the Svengoolie show on the MeTV channel. We’ve never seen it before and it actually got pretty good reviews back in the day. The main character, Scott Carey, was played by Grant Williams. You can watch the movie for free on the Internet Archive.

According to some interpretations, the story uses the metaphor of diminishing size to highlight the diminishing role of masculinity in American society in the 1950s or human notions in general about one’s self-worth in society.

It got me thinking about how the challenges of adjusting to retirement as a process has been (and still is to some degree) for me. I started out with gradual reduction of my work schedule in the form of a phased retirement contract. It was difficult.

I was reminded of how difficult it was to slow down, especially as a teacher of residents and other health care trainees, when I was going through some old papers after the recent move to our new house. They included teaching awards I’d received over the years.

I was struck by how small my self-perceived role in psychiatry and medicine has gradually become in the last few years. I’ve been shrinking, similar to Scott Carey. In fact, I’m a shrinking headshrinker.

I don’t want to spend too much time ruminating about what retirement means to me. I think it’s a very common response to perceive the world gets smaller when you retire.

It doesn’t help much to intellectualize about shrinking in this way. Scott Carey eventually accepted his diminishing stature, even to the point of disappearance. Grief about this kind of loss is normal, although I’m realizing that grief might never completely disappear.

Reminiscence of My Younger Days

The other day we had some stormy weather roll across central Iowa, although it was not as bad as the tornado that swept through Greenfield. We hope the best for them. We didn’t actually get a tornado, but I remember wondering why the siren went off about 6:00 a.m. It woke me up and I wondered what was the matter. Turns out it was a tornado warning and we had to sit in the basement for a little while. It was a little scary, but the storm moved east pretty quickly northeast out of our area.

For whatever reason, this eventually led to my reminiscing about my younger days. Maybe it was because of a temporary scare and increased awareness of our mortality.

I used to work for a consulting engineers company called WHKS & Co. in Mason City, Iowa. This was back in the days of the dinosaurs when it was challenging to set stakes for rerouting highways around grazing diplodocus herds.

I was young and stupid (compared to being old and stupid now by way of comparison). I lived at the YMCA and took the city bus to the Willowbrook Plaza where the WHKS & Co. office was located on the west side of town.

I usually got there too early and stopped for breakfast at the Country Kitchen. The waitress would make many trips to my table to top off my coffee while I sat there waiting for the office to open. That was fine because I had a strong bladder in those days. I left tips (“Don’t cross the street when the light is red”).

My duties at WHKS & Co. included being rear chain man and rod man, at least when I first started. A “chain” was the word still being used for a steel tape for measuring distances. It was well past the days when land surveyors used actual chains for that purpose. You had to use a plumb bob with the chain to make sure you were straight above the point (usually marked by a nail or an iron property corner pin) you measuring to and from.

You and the lead chain man had to pull hard on each end of the chain to make sure it was straight. It was challenging, especially on hot days when my hands were sweaty and the chain was dirty. Callouses helped.

The rod was for measuring vertical distances and an instrument called a level was used with that. One guy held up the rod which was marked with numbers and the guy using the level read the elevation. Another way to measure both horizontal and vertical angles used a rod and a different instrument that we called a theodolite (older instrument name was “transit”).

We worked in all kinds of weather, although not during thunderstorms. In fact, when it was looking like rain out in the field, a standard joke for us sitting in the truck waiting for rain was to draw a circle on the windshield (imaginary, you just used your finger although if your finger was dirty which it always was, you left a mark) and if a certain number of drops fell in the circle, you could sit in the truck and play cards.

When we played cards, it was always the game Hearts, which I could not play skillfully at all. I always lost. But it kept us out of the rain. If a big thunderstorm blew in, we just headed back home.

We never got caught in a tornado.

Remember The Calling

I recommend Dr. George Dawson’s recent posts on seeing the practice of medicine as a calling and his passing a big milestone with 2 million reads on his blog.

I wrote a post entitled “Remembering Our Calling: MLK Day 2015.” It was republished in a local newspaper, the Iowa City Press-Citizen on January 19, 2015. And I reposted it in 2019 on this blog.

The trainees I taught also taught each other about psychiatry and medicine when they rotated on the consultation-liaison service at the hospital. We put them into the format of short presentations. I called mine the Dirty Dozen. The trainees and I also presented the Clinical Problems in Clinical Psychiatry (CPCP).

There were many of those meetings, which were necessarily short and to the point because the service was busy. We got called from all over the hospital. We answered those calls and learned something new every time.

I posted a lot of the trainees’ presentations in my previous blog, The Practical C-L Psychiatrist, which was replaced by this present blog. I haven’t posted the presentations partly because I wanted to give the younger teachers their due by naming them as they did on their title slides. But I would want to ask their permission first. They are long gone and far flung. Many are leaders now and have been for many years. I still have their slides. I’m very proud of their work. When they were called, they always showed up.

So, you’ll just have to put up with my work and my cornball jokes.  

African American Women in Iowa History

In light of March being Women in History Month (as well as Iowa History Month), I’d like to share some history stories about an African American librarian from Mason City, Iowa named Esther J. Walls. In 2020 during the Covid-19 pandemic, there was an essay about her, “Esther J. Walls: The Role of a Black Leader.” Her life story as a librarian, traveler, and educator is fascinating.

I looked through the list of women elected to the Iowa Women’s Hall of Fame and couldn’t find her name. However, I recognized Deborah Ann Turner’s name on the list. She was the first African American woman to be certified by the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology in gynecologic oncology. She was also from Mason City, Iowa. Her life story and list of accomplishments is also impressive.

I identify with both of them because they were born and raised in my hometown, Mason City, Iowa. Esther J. Walls was employed at the Mason City Public Library, my favorite haunt because my love of reading and writing began in early childhood.

An archived news item about Esther J. Walls entitled “A Mason City woman’s globe-trotting career” highlights her travels and her sense of humor.