Month: June 2022

Replacing a Two-Hole Faucet

I’m the least handy person on the planet. If I can replace a two-hole faucet, then even Bigfoot can do it.

Replacing the two-hole faucet is probably one of the easiest DIY jobs you can do. That doesn’t mean I didn’t have a problem or two with it.

When you get to the step in which you flush the water lines before installing the new faucet, turn the water lines back on very slowly. If you turn them back on as fast as you turned them off, the water pressure will blast you like Niagara. Water will go everywhere.

Hey, I’m an expert. And do you know what the definition of an expert is? A retired drip under pressure.

So Much Depends Upon the Serial Number

You’ll probably think I’m nuts and you’d be right, but a problem with ordering a replacement part for something from Pella Windows and Doors Company made me think of William Carlos Williams’ poem “The Red Wheelbarrow.” The poem is in the public domain because it was published before 1927, so I guess that means I can include it in this post:

The Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends

upon

a red wheel

barrow

glazed with rain

water

beside the white

chickens

–William Carlos Williams

I’m not a poetry scholar and I have no idea what this poem written by a doctor means. One writer says that it’s probably impossible to get its meaning because it’s part of a much longer book-length work, “Spring and All” and the poem was split out of its context.

My connecting it to the Pella company has nothing to do with “Spring and All” or chickens or red wheelbarrows. It has to do with trying to order a replacement weather stripping part for a Pella door depending on having the right serial number.

It’s a bottom of door seal, made by Pella specifically for a specific Pella door on a house we moved into a couple of years ago and which was built over a decade ago. We have the size and type of the door, and the size and other important dimensions of the weather seal, which required us to take the door off the hinges in order to remove the old one and install the new one—if we can get one.

It’s a special type of bottom of door seal, which you can’t just run over to Lowes or Menards to pick up. In fact, they’ll tell you that you have to buy it direct from the Pella company.

It’s a peculiar looking seal. It fits into kerfs on the bottom of the door. I didn’t even know what a kerf was until we had to get a replacement bottom of the door weather seal. It’s just a slot into which some other piece fits into. There are two raised barbs or blades which fit into slots along the bottom of the door. The blades have to be exactly 5/8 inch apart and they run the length of the seal.

It’s called either a kerf seal or a drive-on door bottom seal, I guess because you drive it into the slots. The old one was stapled at both ends of the door bottom. It was 32 inches long. It was 1 and ¾ inches wide. The blades were in the kerfs doing what blades do in kerfs, which is securing the seal to the door bottom. I pulled the old one off and would need to drive the new one on.

That is, if we can acquire a new one. It turns out the right replacement can’t be found just by knowing the exact dimensions. You have to know the serial number of the door or the serial number of the seal.

The seal is in shreds. If it ever was marked with a serial number, it was destroyed long ago.

The door, which a Pella representative will patiently tell you, should have a serial number on a label fixed to the top hinge on the door. It’s not on the middle or the lower hinge—it’s on the top hinge, which would be fine if it were but it’s not.

How long can you expect a paper label to last on a door hinge that is more than a decade old?

It doesn’t matter if the hinges are all stamped permanently with the word “Pella.” If you don’t have the serial number, you don’t have anything.

All we want to know is whether we can purchase a replacement seal. Well:

The Damned Serial Number

so much depends

upon

a multi-character

serial number

missing in

action

nowhere to be found upon the

item

Nothing is Impossible?

The mural of Muhammad Ali throwing a punch next to the impossible quote is finished. It’s on the south side of the ICOR Boxing building, which faces Highway 6.

Impossible quote mural Iowa City

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

Muhammad Ali’s name is lettered below his picture. It’s highly improbable he created the impossible quote. An Adidas ad campaign copywriter named Aimee Lehto probably wrote it, according to Quote Investigator.

I think it’s possible that Ali might have said it, although I can’t prove it like I can prove that the Korean war veteran Howard William Osterkamp said “All gave some…some gave all,” but probably didn’t create it.

I’ll have to concede there are some things that are impossible, like licking your elbow.

But I don’t think it’s impossible for us to be kinder. And I know I’ve made excuses for not doing something because I lacked confidence or skill—and saying that it was because it’s impossible.

Many things that used to be impossible have been done. The list of impossible things tends to look shorter as I get older. It speaks to the temporary nature of what we think of as impossible. It is about realizing my potential.

In a way, impossible is a dare, a challenge to do more in spite of what I think are my limitations.

If you turn the last line of the impossible quote backwards, it says “Nothing is impossible.”

But I dare you to lick your elbow.

Wendy’s Offers the Impossible Strawberry Frosty

Sena told me that Wendy’s will now be offering the strawberry Frosty, for which she and many others have been clamoring for years. The media announcements call it historic. Was there ever a strawberry shortage to explain the absence of a strawberry Frosty? It never seemed that way. It was predicted in December 2021, but now sources say we’re all good.

On the other hand, they tell us that my favorite, the vanilla Frosty, will be going away in order to make room for the strawberry. It turns out that vanilla is the base for the strawberry.

 I understand the strawberry Frosty will be offered only through July 3. We had thought that it was nothing short of impossible for Wendy’s to make the strawberry dessert. Now we know different. Impossible is nothing.

Impossible quote mural on ICOR Boxing Iowa City, IA

On the other hand, why do they have to sacrifice the vanilla?

There can be no success without sacrifice.

John C. Maxwell

There must be another way. Maybe it involves too much sophisticated chemistry.

After we ordered, the cashier laughed and said she had at first thought the whole thing was a rumor.

It looked pink, tasted good but didn’t have quite as much strawberry flavor as we expected. Are there real strawberries in it? I couldn’t find that out just by googling it.

But even the chocolate Frosty is a combination of vanilla and chocolate. When Wendy’s first opened, it started with the chocolate Frosty, then in 2006, the vanilla was added. There were others that didn’t last (even a pickle Frosty, believe it or not), but the strawberry is finally here.

But it’ll go away July 3. It’s a just a summer fling. And here’s the thing—Sena still likes the chocolate best, and vanilla is still my favorite.

FDA Advisory Committee Green Lights Novavax Covid-19 Vaccine

The FDA Advisory Committee endorsed the Novavax Covid-19 Vaccine at their meeting June 7, 2022. It awaits the FDA Director’s decision and, if endorsed by the director, would next go to the CDC Advisory Committee for their evaluation, which looks like it might be scheduled later this month.

Parody or Fake Science?

I was just looking at the IMDb reviews of 3 TV shows, one of which we think is hilarious and a couple of others we watch mainly because there’s nothing else on and we’ve already played cribbage for entertainment. In my opinion, one of the shows is a parody of science (and by extension fake science), and the other two are fake science. And I think the parody is a lot more entertaining the others.

Let’s list the shows with their IMDb reviews links:

The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch

Expedition Bigfoot

Mountain Monsters

We can’t watch Mountain Monsters anymore because it’s available only on the streaming network now and it’s not worth chasing (although it was uproariously funny).

One way to keep this post from getting too long is to let you look at a few reviews of all three on IMDb and compare them.

I don’t know what you think, but I have always thought that Mountain Monsters is a parody of shows like the other two, which try to be scientific but fall far short.

First, we need a definition of parody. Merriam-Webster says:

Parody: “a literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule.”

I think it’s probably also good to know the difference between parody and satire.

Now we think The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch and Expedition Bigfoot are failed attempts to come off as science-based so-called reality shows. They take themselves too seriously. You can probably tell that from the IMDb reviews. The casts never find anything noteworthy, jump at their own shadows, and generally are terrible actors.

If you then read the reviews for Mountain Monsters, maybe you can see why we’d classify it as a parody. Most reviewers call it pure entertainment. It’s unpretentious and clearly pokes fun at the other two. I even found one reviewer who pointed out the credits at the end of Mountain Monsters has a disclaimer saying no animals were hunted. We hadn’t noticed that, but it’s probably because we were still laughing so hard at the hillbilly antics.

The cast of Mountain Monsters are probably better actors, but forgivably often can’t stop themselves from laughing at their own jokes.

D-Day for All Soldiers in World War II, Including African Americans

Today is D-Day, which was the largest amphibious invasion in the history of warfare, and there is plenty of history to read about it. It was the Battle of Normandy during World War II, which lasted from June to August of 1944.

There is also the history of African-American soldiers in World War II. Unfortunately, it was marred by segregation. But African American soldiers played important roles nonetheless.

Notably, Waverly Woodson, Jr. served as a medic on Omaha Beach and treated at least 200 men while sustaining injuries himself. By many accounts, he should have won the Medal of Honor, but did not, despite ample evidence demonstrating he deserved it.

His family and the office of General John C. H. Lee are still working to get that corrected. Part of the barrier is a fire that destroyed Woodson’s records, along with those of millions of other veterans. Woodson died in 2005, but his wife is still working to get him recognized.

We are grateful to all of the soldiers who gave their lives at Normandy.

Ransom’s Cigar Store in Mason City

I was thinking yesterday about Ransom’s Cigar Store in Mason City, Iowa. There are actually a couple of reasons why it’s on my mind now.

The first thing about Ransom’s is that it’s an old pool hall on 120 North Federal Avenue. It looks like it has been there for a century. Decades ago, probably in the 1970s, I played a game of eight-ball with Bart Curran. Bart was the host of Bart’s Clubhouse, which I found out has a substantial Facebook following. Bart’s Clubhouse was a popular kids TV show back in my day and it aired on station KGLO (later KIMT) in Mason City.

Anyway, Bart and I played eight-ball (or was it nine-ball?) and drank a short beer. He was shorter than I imagined. He was a real nice guy. I think he asked me what my dad’s name was and when I told him it was John, he looked a little doubtful and said something like “Not the actor John Amos?”  I don’t remember who won the pool game. It’s unlikely to have been me.

The second thing is, I searched Ransom’s Cigar Store on the web and found a couple of links to something called Ransom’s Pleazol. I can’t find the word Pleazol in any dictionary, including the Scrabble Dictionary. If anyone knows what that means, please drop a comment.