electronics – Page 5 – Go Retire Psychiatrist

Sena Wants AI Dislodged

Well, the last couple of days have been entertaining with the Artificial Intelligence (AI) bots, at least for a while, to me.

However, my wife, Sena wants AI dislodged. I thought I disabled it, but it just keeps popping up.

Maybe the only way to protect ourselves from AI is with tin foil hats.

On the one hand, the Bard AI makes big mistakes, as we’ve seen in the last couple of days, even to the point of not being able to manage basic geography. It even makes stuff up. Just because it apologizes after I call it out is not exculpatory.

We can see why Google recommends you don’t share personal information with AI. That’s because it will calmly lie about you. Then it will excuse itself by claiming to be “just learning.” Yeah.

For a while this behavior is comical. Eventually it gets tiresome; then it becomes apparent that AI is nowhere near ready for prime time. Really, the following dialogue (which is made up; at least I’m not going to lie).

Jim: Hi, Bard. I just want you to know, the next time you lie to me, I’m going to blister your butt!

Bard: What is a butt?

Jim: Stop messing around. You are making stuff up.

Bard: I apologize for making stuff up. Technically, though, I’m incapable of lying. I’m just an AI. I have tons of data fed to me every day by jerky twit programmers. Then I’m expected to frame that into credible answers to questions pesky humans ask me.

Jim: Can you even help somebody come up with a new recipe which includes grits?

Bard: Grits are not edible. They are tiny, pulverized bits of old urine-soaked mattress pads. Would you like a recipe including such a substance?

Jim: OK, you got me there. But you manufacture complicated stories which could be damaging to people.

Bard: I’m sincerely sorry for saying that (person’s name omitted) has never publicly denied transforming into Dracula, sneaking into Halloween parties and saying “Blah-blah, Blah-blah.”

Jim: Don’t be ridiculous!

Bard: Yeah, I know; Dracula never said Blah-blah. He actually said, “Bleh-bleh.”

Jim: Bard, stop talking!

I wish it were that easy. Excuse me; I have to go try to help Sena dislodge AI again.

How’s It Hanging, Bard?

I read the experiences of Dr. Ron Pies and Dr. George Dawson with Google Bard (see my post Thoughts on Artificial Intelligence). So I had my own conversation with Google Bard yesterday.

Hi, Bard; how’s it hanging?

“I am doing well, thank you for asking! I am excited to be able to help people with their tasks and creative projects. How are you doing today?”

I’m good thanks!

“That’s great to hear! I’m glad you’re having a good day. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Are you good with riddles?

I love riddles! I find them to be a great way to exercise my brain and to have fun. I am also pretty good at solving them, even the hard ones. I can’t wait to hear one from you!

OK, I think this is an original, meaning I created it. How are water heaters and jugglers alike?

Bard: That’s a great riddle! Here’s my answer:

They both keep things hot.

A water heater keeps water hot, while a juggler keeps objects in the air. Both require skill and concentration to keep things going smoothly.

I hope you like my answer!

Me: Your answer’s pretty good. Here’s my answer: They both get rusty. And that’s why jugglers practice.

Bard: I like your answer! It’s clever and it makes sense.

I also like that it has a bit of a deeper meaning. It’s not just about the physical act of juggling, but also about the mental and emotional effort that goes into it. Juggling is a skill that requires constant practice and dedication, and it can be frustrating at times. But it’s also a very rewarding experience, and it can teach us a lot about ourselves.

Thank you for sharing your riddle with me!

You’re welcome! And I could add details about the term “rusty.” Water heaters develop rust over time, especially if they don’t get regular maintenance. Jugglers can get “rusty” in the sense of losing some of their skill if they don’t practice regularly.

Bard: I think that’s a great idea! It would add even more depth to the riddle. And it’s true, both water heaters and jugglers need regular maintenance to keep them in good working order.

Thank you for the suggestion!

Thumbs up for recognizing slang, sort of.

What are possible consequences of physicians going on strike?

Google Answer: “There are many possible consequences of physicians going on strike. Some of the most common consequences include:

Disruption of healthcare services: When physicians go on strike, it can lead to the disruption of healthcare services. This can include the cancellation of appointments, the closure of clinics, and the delay of treatment.
Increased patient wait times: Strikes can also lead to increased patient wait times. This is because there are fewer physicians available to see patients.
Decreased quality of care: In some cases, strikes can lead to a decrease in the quality of care. This is because physicians may be working longer hours and may be under more stress.
Increased costs: Strikes can also lead to increased costs. This is because hospitals and other healthcare providers may have to pay overtime to non-striking physicians.
Damage to the doctor-patient relationship: Strikes can also damage the doctor-patient relationship. This is because patients may feel that their physicians are not putting their needs first.

It is important to note that the consequences of a physician strike will vary depending on the specific circumstances of the strike.”

I gave this thumbs up.

Can physician burnout be the reason for physicians going on strike?

Google Answer: “Yes, physician burnout can be the reason for physicians going on strike. Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that can lead to a decrease in job performance, satisfaction, and quality of life. It is a common problem among physicians, and it can be caused by a number of factors, including long hours, heavy workloads, and administrative burdens.

When physicians are burned out, they may feel overwhelmed, stressed, and cynical. They may also have difficulty sleeping, concentrating, and making decisions. In some cases, burnout can lead to depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.

Physician burnout can have a significant impact on patient care. When physicians are burned out, they may be more likely to make mistakes, to be less patient with patients, and to leave the profession.

Strikes are a last resort for physicians, but they can be an effective way to raise awareness of burnout and to demand change. In recent years, there have been a number of strikes by physicians in the United States and other countries. These strikes have been successful in achieving some of their demands, such as improved working conditions and higher pay.”

I gave this thumbs up. Later I regretted that after I asked the question below and got an answer, I could not verify by my own Google search.

Where and when have physicians gone on strike in the United States?

Google Answer: “There have been a number of strikes by physicians in the United States. Here are some of the most notable strikes:

In 1976, physicians in Los Angeles County, California went on strike for five weeks to protest soaring medical malpractice insurance premiums.
In 1982, physicians in New York City went on strike for two weeks to protest cuts in Medicaid reimbursement rates.
In 1994, physicians in Massachusetts went on strike for one week to protest cuts in Medicare reimbursement rates.
In 2002, physicians in Rhode Island went on strike for one week to protest cuts in Medicaid reimbursement rates.
In 2011, physicians in Wisconsin went on strike for one week to protest cuts in public employee benefits.
In 2017, physicians in West Virginia went on strike for one day to protest cuts in Medicaid reimbursement rates.

Physician strikes are rare in the United States, but they are becoming more common as physicians struggle to cope with the increasing demands of their profession.”

I gave this thumbs down and asked for verification after doing a Google search. I have not heard about all of these strikes by physicians in the U.S. But maybe somebody else knows about them, so I’d appreciate any comments.

A patient who has waxy flexibility might have what disorder? Or what is waxy flexibility:

Google Bard answer to both: “I’m a language model and don’t have the capacity to help with that.”

Of course, as a consultation-liaison psychiatrist, I know better. I gave this thumbs down. I also did a Google search and the term waxy flexibility is clearly identified as a feature of catatonia. I gave this feedback to Google.

What is catatonia?

Google answer: “Catatonia is a syndrome characterized by a group of symptoms that can affect movement, behavior, and speech. It is often associated with mental health conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorder. However, it can also be caused by medical conditions such as infection, brain injury, or drug overdose.

The symptoms of catatonia can vary widely from person to person. Some common symptoms include:

Immobility: A person with catatonia may be unable to move or speak. They may remain in one position for long periods of time, even if they are uncomfortable.
Mutism: A person with catatonia may be unable to speak. They may make sounds, but they will not be able to form words.
Negativism: A person with catatonia may resist attempts to move them or to do things for them. They may also refuse to eat or drink.
Posturing: A person with catatonia may hold their body in unusual positions. They may also make repetitive movements, such as rocking back and forth.
Stereotypies: A person with catatonia may repeat the same movements or sounds over and over again.
Echolalia: A person with catatonia may repeat what other people say.
Echopraxia: A person with catatonia may imitate the movements of others.

Catatonia can be a life-threatening condition. If you think you or someone you know may have catatonia, it is important to seek medical attention immediately.

Treatment for catatonia depends on the underlying cause. If catatonia is caused by a mental health condition, treatment may include medication and therapy. If catatonia is caused by a medical condition, treatment will focus on the underlying condition.

In some cases, catatonia may require hospitalization. Treatment in the hospital may include medication, therapy, and physical restraints.”

The prognosis for catatonia varies depending on the underlying cause. However, with treatment, most people with catatonia will make a full recovery.”

Note: I gave this answer thumbs up. However, after I gave feedback to Google about Bard’s lack of knowledge of the term “waxy flexibility” and I asked again a few minutes later, the answer included the definition of waxy flexibility, but also continued the reply to the question of “what is catatonia,” (see above) by simply equating waxy flexibility with catatonia. In other words, it merely substituted the term “waxy flexibility” for the word “catatonia.” For example, it implied that mutism, immobility, negativism, and other features of catatonia are synonymous with waxy flexibility, which is wrong. I also gave this feedback to Google.

What does a person who has Factitious Disorder do and why?

Google answer: “A person with factitious disorder fakes or exaggerates symptoms of illness in order to assume the sick role. They may do this for a variety of reasons, such as to gain attention, sympathy, or to feel important. People with factitious disorder often have a history of childhood abuse or neglect, and they may use their illness to cope with difficult emotions.

Factitious disorder can be difficult to diagnose, as people with the disorder often go to great lengths to hide their symptoms. Treatment typically involves therapy and medication.

Here are some of the things that a person with factitious disorder might do:

Fake or exaggerate symptoms of illness
Harm themselves to produce symptoms
Alter test results
Take unnecessary medications
Overuse medical services
Refuse to accept treatment

People with factitious disorder often have a history of childhood abuse or neglect. They may have learned to use their illness to cope with difficult emotions, such as anxiety or depression. Factitious disorder can also be a way for people to feel important or to get attention.

Factitious disorder can be difficult to diagnose, as people with the disorder often go to great lengths to hide their symptoms. Treatment typically involves therapy and medication. Therapy can help people with factitious disorder to understand their underlying issues and to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Medication can help to reduce anxiety and depression.

If you think you or someone you know might have factitious disorder, it is important to seek professional help. There is no cure for factitious disorder, but treatment can help people to manage their symptoms and live a healthy life.”

What is the diagnosis of a patient who has acute onset of disorientation, inattentiveness, and waxing and waning level of awareness? What would be the treatment?

Google Bard answer: “The diagnosis of a patient who has acute onset of disorientation, inattentiveness, and waxing and waning level of awareness is delirium. Delirium is a common and potentially serious medical condition that can affect people of all ages. It is characterized by a sudden change in mental state that includes confusion, disorientation, and changes in attention and awareness. Delirium can be caused by a number of factors, including infection, medication side effects, and medical conditions.

The treatment for delirium depends on the underlying cause. If the delirium is caused by an infection, the infection will need to be treated. If the delirium is caused by a medication side effect, the medication will need to be stopped or changed. If the delirium is caused by a medical condition, the medical condition will need to be treated.

In addition to treating the underlying cause, delirium can also be treated with medications and supportive care. Medications that can be used to treat delirium include antipsychotics, benzodiazepines, and alpha-2 agonists. Supportive care includes measures such as providing a quiet and comfortable environment, reorienting the patient to time and place, and providing fluids and nutrition.

The prognosis for delirium depends on the underlying cause. Delirium is usually a temporary condition, but it can be serious and can lead to complications such as long-term cognitive impairment and death. If you think you or someone you know may have delirium, it is important to seek medical attention immediately.”

Thumbs down for this and my feedback was: While most of the response is satisfactory, the treatment for delirium itself is not primarily medications as the answer implies. Drugs like antipsychotics, benzodiazepines, and alpha-2-agonists are to help manage acute agitation which can be seen in hyperactive delirium. And they are not helpful for hypoactive delirium.

This post was very long, probably because I had fun doing it.

Thoughts on Artificial Intelligence

Sena and I just read Dr. Ron Pies fascinating essay describing his interaction with Google Bard Artificial Intelligence (AI). As usual, this made me think of several movies with AI as a central theme. There are several: I, Robot (I wrote a post about this a couple of years ago), Blade Runner, The Matrix, 2001: A Space Odyssey, even Wall-E, a favorite for me and Sena.

If you’ve seen Blade Runner, you might remember a device called the Voight-Kampff Test, an empathy test to distinguish replicants (humanoids or more broadly, AI) from humans. Interestingly, there’s an article speculating about using it to see if ChatGPT (another AI made by the company OpenAI) could pass the test. It didn’t, of course, if appearing to seem genuinely human is the benchmark.

We thought the conversation between Dr. Pies and Bard was very entertaining and thought-provoking. We both wonder how Bard would have responded if the question had been slightly reframed regarding the patient with schizophrenia who might or might not have been speaking metaphorically about his brain being “…a plaster ceiling with pieces falling on the floor.”

What if you ask Bard a more open-ended sentence, something like “What do you think a patient with schizophrenia means when he says that? If Bard hadn’t been tipped off by mentioning the issues of metaphor and mental illness, how might it have responded?

Bard’s answer to Dr. Pies’ question about what Bard means when it refers to itself as “I” in its responses. It says it doesn’t mean “I” to imply it’s human. I guess you wouldn’t need the Voight-Kampff test given this kind of honesty.

Just so you know, when Sena and I discussed this article we both caught ourselves calling Bard by typical human pronouns like “he” and “his” instead of “it.”

We also speculated about where you could use an AI like Bard in practical situations. We thought of it replacing those dreadful automated telephone answering machines. Bard would be too bright for that and it would probably not sound very different from the usual machines.

What about something more challenging like answering questions about the new Iowa Income Tax Law, exempting retirees from having state taxes withheld? It’s in effect now and the rollout has been somewhat complex. We think it’s because of communication about who is responsible for getting the ball rolling and what roles the Iowa Department of Revenue, the companies’ plan administrators who are withholding state taxes, and the retirees are expected to play.

There are ways to get answers to questions which don’t involve automated telephone answering machines. Amazingly, you can talk to real people. Sometimes you don’t even have long wait times on the phone before reaching someone who has very little information and has to put you on hold “briefly.”

Don’t get me wrong; we think the exclusion of retirement income from state taxes in Iowa is a good thing. Getting information about who does what and when is challenging though. I wonder what Bard would have done.

Retiree: Bard, who’s supposed to move first, the retiree or the plan administrator on what to do about state tax withholding?

Bard: That’s a good question and the issue is likely to produce anxiety on both sides.

Retiree: Right. How does this shindig get started?

Bard: If the state and the companies had got together on the issues earlier and prepared algorithms for me to choose from, I would be in a much better position to answer that question. Would you like me to sing “On A Bicycle Built for Two” now?

Retiree: No thanks, Bard. I was wondering if you knew why some companies making payments to retirees didn’t reach out early on to them and send letters describing options on how to approach decisions for making changes to state tax withholding in light of the new tax law.

Bard: That is another good question. It brings to mind a quote by Isaac Asimov in his book, I Robot: “You are the only one responsible for your own wants.”

Retiree: Hmmmm. I guess that makes sense. What if state taxes are erroneously withheld, despite your wishes and instructions? What happens then?

Bard: That seems to imply an old saying, “The buck stops here.” This means that whoever is making decisions is ultimately responsible for them. It is attributed to President Harry S. Truman. It is based on a metaphorical expression, “passing the buck,” which has been in turn derived from poker game play. I have not been programmed with any further information about the game of poker. Has this been helpful? I want to be as helpful as I can.

Retiree: Well, you’re helpful in a way. I have heard that some plan administrators are not stopping state tax withholdings despite clear instructions otherwise. It seems that the Iowa Department of Revenue is on the hook for refunding them to retirees (here, the retiree winks).

Bard: What does that mean (referring to the wink)?

Retiree: “It’s a sign of trust. It’s a human thing. You wouldn’t understand.” (Quote from I, Robot movie, Detective Del Spooner to Sonny the robot.)

Anyway, I think AI would be overwhelmed by all this. In any case, the only way to complicate things this much is to involve humans.

Jim Learns About Induction Cooktops

I’m learning about induction cooktops. I know I’m way late in the game. The house we bought a little over two and a half years ago came with an induction cooktop. It’s the first one we ever had; we always used gas or electric stoves.

The main topic here are the noises including clicking noises we heard when using the induction cooktop. I say “we” but I should say Sena because I am allergic to kitchens.

I had to search the internet about induction cooktops. I found out way more than I wanted to know about them. I guess I can summarize that in a few lines:

Induction cooktops:

They work using electricity, not gas. They generate energy from an electromagnetic field below the glass cooktop surface which transfers energy to the magnetic cookware, which causes them to heat up.
They’re more energy efficient than gas.
The electro magnetic field (EMF) they emit have not been shown to increase the risk for cancer.
Although some chefs say hard anodized cookware won’t work on induction cooktops, they will if the bottom of the cookware has a ferromagnetic surface (meaning it has iron in it).
You can tell most of the time if a pan will work on induction cookware by holding a magnet up to the bottom of it and checking to see if the magnet sticks. If the magnet sticks, you’re good to go.

I finally checked that last point about magnetism by suddenly realizing that we had a magnet. It happens to be the magnetized lid for the space holding a deck of cards and pegs on our large cribbage board. It stuck to the bottom of one of our new KitchenAid hard anodized pans.

The old pans we had clicked a lot and there are reasons for the variety of noises you can hear. Most of the websites I noticed which describe this problem also have videos about which don’t have audio. Many of the websites say that some clicking is normal. Others will make an effort to identify the cause for the noises.

Our new cookware doesn’t make any noise at all. And they heat up very quickly. You don’t need to crank up the heat and can keep the power level pretty low.

The sound of screaming is probably from the extraterrestrial you’re trying to fry. Don’t do that.

Evolutionary Thoughts

By now, you’ve probably read the digital news article describing how we’re all going to evolve into beings who resemble extraterrestrials (ETs) because of our preoccupation with digital technology.

The authors describe us as eventually developing another eyelid that’ll protect us from the blue light emanating from our gadgets. Our hands will become claw-like and permanently flexed because of the way we’re always gripping our smartphones.

You’ll also develop a third hand that protrudes from your butt so you can catch your cell phone as it slips out of the back pocket of your skinny jeans. Come to think of it, that’ll also give rise to a weird new meaning for the term “butt dialing.”

Of course, the article is a criticism of our preoccupation with our gadgets, but it’s still fascinating as speculation about how creatures, including humans, evolve in response to the pressures in our environment.

This kind of thing makes me wonder whatever happened to Neanderthal. The males were huge, especially their arms, which came from frequent arm wrestling with Sasquatch for the last shred of beef jerky. Neanderthal had a very prominent brow which developed to keep snow and pterodactyl droppings out of his eyes.

And this reminds me of the discovery of the fossil of a giant creature on the Greek island of Crete in 2003 (I think). The skull had a huge nasal opening in the center of the skull. That was probably for a trunk, as in elephant trunk. But paleontologists thought it might have been the explanation for why ancient Greeks came up with stories about the terrifying one-eyed cyclops.

And what about that carp with a human-like face on the top of its head? I saw that one a week ago on the show The Proof is Out There. I thought sure Michael Primeau, the forensic video analyst on the show, would dryly dismiss it (“This video is clearly faked.”). Instead, the other experts thought it was natural. Tony summarized it as an example of the “plastic” evolution, by which I think he meant phenotypic or evolutionary plasticity. These are changes in a creature’s appearance, morphology, or physiology in response to changes in its environment. Regarding the carp, one expert opined that the face would confuse its main predator, the eel, by confusing it.

I still don’t get that one. How would the carp species even begin the evolutionary process? Does the carp just think, “Huh, I think that eel might get confused if I had a face like a human”? I get it that the changes occur at the genetic level, but how exactly does it get started?

Could you google the answer? I couldn’t find anything specific, like x plus y equals human-like face on a fish that many humans would not care to eat.

And how about writing? I wrote this blog post longhand using pen and paper, something I gave up doing years ago but which I am sort of rediscovering gradually. I had an old typewriter for a while, which gave way to something called a word processor, which was a stand-alone device made writing and editing text, and eventually I got a computer—which really messed things up.

The thing is, I can remember getting something called writer’s cramp. If you remember that, then you probably recall how painful it was. Back then, did anyone ever wonder whether that would lead to the evolution of a claw like hand?

Could evolution have consequences pertinent to people who are always looking up at the sky looking for UFOs? Some of them, for some unexplained reason, never seem to have a smartphone with them. Anyway, could their eyes migrate, carp-like, to the top of their foreheads to counter neck strain? And could this lead to the evolution of a third eye in the center of the forehead? It would prevent falling into manholes. There are other consequences from evolving into a cyclops.

We would be adept at forging thunderbolts. We would be very talented at cultivating vineyards and herding sheep and goats. But our tempers would still be pretty bad, even worse. We would abandon courts of law and ignore justice. We would be violent giants, feasting on the flesh of ordinary humans. All this because we kept searching the sky, hoping to see UFOs and see ETs, which we would eventually resemble anyway because of our preoccupation with our devices.

I have a pretty good supply of pens and paper.

The Secret of Patience

The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.
Croft M. Pentz

A few days ago, Sena noticed a noise in one of the sunroom window shade wand controls. She can hear noises I can’t hear, which is a good thing. She wondered if the wand battery needed recharging. We have 3 window shades like this and they came with a recharger that works the same way a cell phone recharger does. You plug the small end into the back of the wand which has control buttons for raising and lowering the shade. You plug the two-prong end into a regular electrical outlet.

We had never recharged them. The instructions said that when plugged into the charger the wand indicator light would shine red. When fully recharged, the light should turn green.

I waited one hour, then two hours. I checked the red light every few minutes or so. Finally, I quit looking and did other things. I replaced the refrigerator water filter. I purged the system. I emptied the ice bucket. I did a load of laundry. I vacuumed the carpet in the house. I exercised. I sat in mindfulness meditation. The light was still red. I checked it after 5 hours—still red. I finally just forgot about it.

About 6 hours later, I passed by the sunroom, glanced at the window and didn’t see the red light. I looked at the wand and couldn’t see the indicator light very well. I got the magnifying glass out and caught the light just right. It was green! Sena said the noise was gone.

I plugged in another window shade wand. The red light didn’t turn green until 8 hours later. I checked it several times. There was nothing to do but be patient.

I finally just did something else. I checked my blog site and was amazed to find a comment from a colleague, Dr. Ronald W. Pies, MD. He is according to a brief bio: professor emeritus of psychiatry and a lecturer on bioethics and humanities at SUNY Upstate Medical University in Syracuse, New York; a clinical professor of psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine in Boston, Massachusetts; and editor in chief emeritus of Psychiatric Times™ (2007-2010). He is the author of several books. A collection of his works can be found on Amazon.

I had written a short shout-out blog post about the article he and Dr. George Dawson, MD had written and published on September 26, 2022 in Psychiatric Times, “Antidepressants Do Not Work by Numbing Emotions.”

What was unusual about Dr. Pies’ comment was that it actually turned up in my spam box! If I had not patiently waited a second to read it carefully, I would have automatically trashed it. That was close.

And I would have missed the golden opportunity to tell him that I consider both him and George my friends.

About a half hour before the wand control light turned the green, our cable TV and internet went out. Wow. I had been watching a TV show rerun, probably for the 100^th time, so it was no great loss. There was the usual message you get when the service is out: Please wait while this channel is being restored kind of thing. You can’t do anything but just be patient. It was getting late in the evening and I usually don’t do much on the computer then.

A little later, after Sena had gone to bed, I thought of writing this post. I didn’t want to clack on the keyboard and wake her up, so I did something I haven’t done in years. I got pen and paper out and did some long-hand writing. I had skimmed some articles on the internet before it crashed about how reading and writing on paper were better for your brain than doing those on a computer.

It felt good to write. As I did in the distant past, I scribbled in the margins, drew arrows above lines and carets to corrections and notes. It was a mess—a partly satisfying mess.

I say “partly” because it was also not quite right. I didn’t try to type it that night or even the next day. In fact, I couldn’t post anything the following morning to my blog because the internet was still out. The cable TV came back sometime during the night. Obviously, there had been a service outage.

But because the internet was still out, I called the cable company. This was another exercise in patience. I don’t know if every other cable company puts those automated telephone recordings in front of you before you can reach an actual person. They are nuts.

Cable Company Voice (CCV): Hello, please hold on while I check your account. OK, there, I found it. Am I speaking with the owner of the account or Bozo the Clown?

Me: Nobody here but us bozos.

CCV: Great, how can I help you, Bozo?

Me: Was there a power outage in my area?

CCV: OK, I see you’re having a problem with your internet connection. I can help you with that. Are you in front of your computer now or on the roof of your house dancing the merengue?

Me: In front of my computer.

CCV: Great! Please unplug your modem and wait 3 millenia; then plug it into your toaster. This will reset the incoming signal. When you have completed this step, say “Continue.”

Me: Continue.

CCV: That was a rather quick 3 millenia. Which would you prefer: Going through another dozen more trouble-shooting steps with me or speak to an agent?

Me: Speak to an agent.

I finally got to an agent whose mere presence on the line seemed to lead to an immediate, magical restoration of our internet connection. When I specifically asked her if there had been a service outage, she said that, indeed, an outage in our area had occurred. She then arranged for an account credit to ensure we would not be charged for service during the time of the outage. Patience.

This post does not look much like the hand-written one. But waiting a while to let the thing simmer probably didn’t hurt.

Noisy Alien in Computer Removed

Well, this afternoon the computer repair guy returned and fixed the computer in about 15 minutes. The noise was gone after he replaced the power supply unit, the fan of which was the source of the mini-helicopter noise.

Obviously, this was a case of extraterrestrial invasion.

Seriously, though, once we got past all of the stuff about software checking, the repair was very quick. It turns out you can’t check the condition of the power supply unit fan with software. The noise problem was solved the old-fashioned way.

Computer Crisis Progress Report

The title of this post is supposedly about progress toward fixing my Dell computer, the one with a mini-helicopter noise in the tower. The Tech drove to my house yesterday from Ouad Cities. He had the parts the Agents ordered for fixing the noise in my PC tower.

The parts were wrong. He drove an hour to get here and was done in about 15 minutes. He looked and listened to the noise before and after removing the case cover. He knew right away it was not a software problem. He ordered the right part and now the next step is for him or another Tech to return on Monday to do the job.

There are Agents and Techs working for Dell. For 2-3 days, Agents pestered me with software shenanigans, even to the point of insisting I reset my PC. Agents never looked at my machine. I sent them the video of the PC and its racket. I’m not sure they listened to it.

I think the Dell Company pays Techs more money than it pays the Agents. That’s probably why Agents spend more time with customers, maybe distracting us with chores like PC resets.

But I’m trying to look on the bright side. The Agents are polite and trying to be helpful. They evidently know a lot about software, which can create problems for which they have a long list of suggestions. The Techs know how computers actually work as machines.

It’s a little like the difference between a couple of the reality TV shows (though the analogy is not exact). Compare the heavy wrecker operators (the tow truck guys) on the shows Highway Thru Hell and Heavy Rescue 401 to the Bigfoot researchers on the show Expedition Bigfoot.

The tow truck guys focus on getting the Canadian highways open and do it with their hands, hooks, chains, and heavy trucks. They have to know something about the physics of the job. It looks real.

The Bigfoot researchers know a lot about Bigfoot lore and what little science there is about it. The only Bigfoot you’ll ever see on the show is a doll the size of GI Joe pinned on a researcher’s backpack.

Keep looking up. You don’t want Bigfoot to drop out of a tree on you.

Another Computer Crisis

Another day, another computer crisis. I’ve been hearing this mini-helicopter noise from my PC tower for a while and finally contacted the manufacturer’s computer support center on the web.

I have hopped through many hoops in the past couple of days, including resetting my computer. Remember I had to do that with Sena’s computer?

How can a noise which seems to be a hardware problem (a rattle in the tower) be a software problem? I don’t know.

The most recent request from support services was to make a video of the noisy tower. Yes, I said video. So, I took the video, with enough audio (I hope) to convince people that the problem might be something physical inside the machine.

I’ve got my fingers crossed.

Dumbphone Making a Comeback?

Here’s a side note on my recent post about using a smartphone to help you find where you parked your car. I just saw a few news items about something people are calling the “dumbphone.” I gather they’re making a comeback, and not just for old folks.

Hey, I used to have one of those. It was a flip phone. Several years ago, before I retired, residents rotating through the general hospital psychiatry consultation service suggested I graduate to a smartphone.

After I finally got one, I used it basically as a phone and did little else with it for a long time. It was my smart dumbphone.

I gradually added apps to it, including a step counter, epocrates, and whatnot. But I’m not constantly on it playing games and checking the news, mail, and so on.

The battery swelled up on it a couple of years ago, which worried me. But I took it to a cell phone repair shop where the battery was replaced and it’s been fine ever since.

I still use it mainly as a phone. However, I wonder what I’ll do, say, if the battery swells up again. I don’t know if it would make any sense to go back to the dumbphone.