Category: UFOs

The Weather Guy

We like to watch the Weather Channel. One of the meteorologists is very conservative in his forecasts. He’s always hedging:

“And here we see a radar signal that might be indicative of a tornado, not saying it definitely is a tornado, just saying it might be, and over here in this county next to a major or minor highway are what appear to be remnants of an atmospheric river although that’s according to the GPS Model mind you, and you always have to remember the European Model might say something different about what might happen, not what’s going to happen mind you, just that it possibly could transform into a manifestation of the Norse god Thor who could have a huge hammer, although that’s from mythology so you can’t rely on that definitely and if you do, let me remind you that I have a lawyer who might just give you a telephone call if you happen to make the mistake of depending on a meteorologist to forecast anything exact and reliable for goodness sake, like the occurrence of a named storm in your vicinity which might be in the Midwest, or the eastern seaboard, you just can’t know with any degree of certainty now that climate change has us in its indefinable grip as we say, so you want to be prepared for whatever might occur, which could include skies that are clear to partly cloudy to filled with UFOs as far as the eye can see but take it from me you didn’t hear that from me.”

Boy, meteorologists have a tough job.

New Aromatherapy Diffusers!

Sena got some new aromatherapy diffusers made by Studio 66. They have a magical glow. One has a design of cardinals on it and it is titled Winter Ice (or Mistletoe, depending on what side of the box you read). The box says it smells like sweet orange, warm cinnamon, juniper berries and eucalpytus. The other has a design of deer in the trees, called Enchantment or Cozy Cashmere. According to the box, it has notes of jasmine, sandalwood, and vanilla with a hint of sweet musk.

They were obviously designed and named by extraterrestrials, but they look nice. So far, I can’t smell them-which could mean the nasal implant the ETs jammed up my nose is dysfunctional.

The Geezer Remarks on Superfoods

Sena is big on eating healthy, which is a good thing. On the other hand, we don’t necessarily always like the same foods. And there’s the whole issue of what people call superfoods nowadays.

Funny, when I was a kid, I used to just refer to superfoods as “yuck!” There are variant spellings.

I read the Wikipedia entry on superfoods and it essentially says there is officially no such thing.

Take beets—please!

Sena’s big on Beets and Leeks. I’m not a big fan. I’ll eat them, of course. There’s nothing wrong with them that intravenous ipecac and a stomach transplant won’t fix. The drawback is the medical bill.

I don’t think we’ve ever had kale. Does that make the superfood list? I think it’s the same thing as mustard greens, okra, and other building materials similar to shingles.

I tried okra when I was a student at Huston-Tillotson University (then Huston-Tillotson College). I was offered this slightly slimy substance as part of a dinner at the home of my Religion and Philosophy professor and his family. It’s slimy because it contains mucilage, which is (correct me if I’m wrong but I’ll naturally ignore you) also the name of the glue we used in grade school to make valentine cards.

In fact, think of any food you dislike as intensely as any medication or tonic you had to take when you were a kid. That would be classified as a superfood. I had to take a tablespoon of mineral oil a day, which is a substance very much like mucilage.

I found out that millet is marketed as a superfood. That’s funny, because it’s also used as a filling for juggling balls. When you work up an appetite juggling, you can just bust open one of the balls and snack on a handful of bird seed, which is what millet really is.

Actually, superfoods come in handy in case you’re abducted by extraterrestrials. Whenever they look like they’re getting ready to jam some kind of implant up your nose, offer them a juggling ball. Just tell them to keep chewing through the leather shell until they get to that tasty millet center. This will give you time to write down the driving directions to the nearest barbecue joint for them (Jimmy Jack’s Rib Shack in Iowa City for example).

Anytime you need any more expert advice on superfoods, just let me know. I’m not available.

Darned Rhinorrhea Interrupting People

I’ve been having a runny nose recently that is intermittent and often related to eating hot foods. I have to get up from the dinner table and blow my nose, especially if we’re having hot soups or chili. I’ve been making fun of it, saying it’s caused by the nasal hair condensation index. You could also refer to it as Darned Rhinorrhea Interrupting People (DRIP). I looked it up on the internet and getting a runny nose is pretty common when eating and after other activities. It can happen just from getting older.

It turns out that there is a connection to eating certain kinds of hot and spicy foods called gustatory rhinitis. I never had this problem until the past month or so.

Recently, I get this even while juggling. And there is something called exercise induced rhinitis. It’s been known for over a hundred years.

I always notice I have a drippy nose when I come in the house after shoveling snow. It’s just snow melting from my nose hairs.

But I never got a runny nose from eating chili until a month or so ago.

And I found out there’s this thing called geriatric rhinitis. It can be caused by a number of things like (hold on to your tissue!) gustatory rhinitis. There are a number of other common causes including allergies, certain medications, and extraterrestrial abduction. Those darned ETs are forever sticking implants in peoples’ noses. There is a tendency to believe geriatric rhinitis needs some kind of specific treatment, such as anticholinergic sprays, immunotherapy, and a nasal cork stopper implantation procedure under general anesthesia in the outpatient Ear, Nose, and Throat surgery center. It costs only $50,000 per nostril (not covered by most insurance). ENT surgeons use a device with an Artificial Intelligence module, which can detect the difference between your nose and your eye with 50% accuracy.

Jokes aside (for a fraction of a second), I’ll admit a thought crossed my mind (an infrequent event) that I might have a cerebrospinal fluid leak, which is caused by a tear in the meninges into the sinuses and nasal passages. The fluid is thin and clear. Nasal sprays don’t stop it and you should seek medical attention if you can’t remember your name or find chunks of cerebral cortex in your Kleenex.

This blog post does not constitute medical advice and if you have DRIP, you should contact your nearest Voodoo practitioner.

AARO Wants UFO Info

The All-Domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO) is now accepting information about U.S. government programs or activities related to UFOs from “…current or former U.S. Government employees, service members, or contractor personnel with direct knowledge of U.S. Government programs or activities related to UAP dating back to 1945.   These reports will be used to inform AARO’s congressionally directed Historical Record Report.”

You know who you are.

Plant Based Cheese Made with Artificial Intelligence Is Only The Beginning!

We tasted plant-based cheese by Kraft yesterday. Sena bought it at Hy-Vee the other day. It’s actually not bad. The company is called Kraft NotCo. They make Not Cheese. It’s made with chickpeas, which are the same thing as garbanzo beans. You can also buy plant-based mayo, called Not Mayo. I don’t know if it’s made with chickpeas.

Sena could have got Not Mayo; instead, she got Miracle Whip—a miracle by itself because she likes “real” mayo.

What’s really interesting about these products is how they’re made. On the Kraft Heinz NotCo website, you’ll find a description of these products in the About section entitled “Not Your Average Joint Venture.” One line is thought-provoking:

“Our partnership reimagines the brands you love from Kraft Heinz using proprietary AI from NotCo to give you the plant-based version of your favorite foods that deliver on taste and performance.”

I’m assuming that AI stands for Artificial Intelligence (not “Absolutely Inedible”). So, how did Artificial Intelligence get involved? What does the AI actually do? Does it come up with the recipes for Not Foods? Are tiny bits of genetic code and nanobots involved?

Does this mean we’ll become enslaved by AI powered men in black who conspire with extraterrestrials to collect human embryos to create the giant Cheese Bots who take over the earth making it a gigantic assembly line to make smartphones that will make it easier to butt dial your congress persons to demand more laws making Home Owners Associations covenants mandatory and violators punishable by the giant garbage goblin in the well-known X-Files documentary “Arcadia”?

No; no, it does not mean that. You can safely eat AI manufactured chickpea products without fear of being transformed into an Extraterrestrial-Robot-Not Cheese hybrid super soldier marching on Washington, D.C. to force feed congress persons with Braunschweiger and Not Cheese Sandwiches with Not Mayo on Not Wheat Bread and Not Lemonade.

I kind of like Not Cheese and I don’t feel any different.

And Then There Were Four Drain Tile Lids Flipped

Now there are 4 tile drain lids that have been flipped. A couple of others were flipped last night. Sena put them back on and put a rock on one of them. The two others with rocks on top of them were undisturbed.

Four of the seven lids have now been flipped this season. We still don’t know what causes this. I suspect it’s an extraterrestrial playing a prank on us.

Brand Spanking New Air Purifier!

Sena got a brand spankin’ new air purifier and it’s whisper quiet. It’s made by RENPHO. Air purifiers probably don’t reduce virus particles but they at least they give you the impression you’re doing something to keep the air clean in your home.

We had an air purifier years ago, and the whole unit had to be cleaned occasionally. This one has a filter you change every 6 months or so.

It’s easy to operate. Basically, you turn it on and forget it. Some of the directions are a little interesting. One of them is a table of what the different button symbols are. The title is “Defination.”

The list of cautions includes the instruction, “Do not place anything on top of the appliance and do not sit on the appliance.”

Why it would occur to anyone but an extraterrestrial to sit on the air purifier is beyond me.

There’s an air quality sensor light which glows a different color corresponding to how good or bad the air is in your house. Blue is very good; Green is good; Orange is bad; Red is polluted. Ours always glows a nice, comforting blue.

There’s a note below the air quality sensor light description:

“Note: Compared with professional instrument, the detecting result of this air quality sensor may has tolerance in accuracy, we suggest you regard the sensor detecting result as a reference only.”

I’m not sure how to interpret this note. Does “tolerance in accuracy” mean it has only tolerably fair accuracy, meaning good enough for government work? Would a canary work just as well?

The trouble shooting section contains an entry that might be helpful:

Problem: You can’t adjust any of the controls.

Cause: An Extraterrestrial Biological Entity (EBE) is sitting on top of the air purifier. Some EBEs are pretty finicky about air purifier settings. They might prevent you from changing them by contacting their superiors, who will abduct you and conduct various experiments using large probes.

Solution: Let the EBE have its way.

Men in Black Movies on Cable TV This Month!

I’m pretty excited because all of the Men in Black movies are going to be on cable September 9, 2023, which is a Saturday.  It’s on Paramount HD and several other streaming services. They start with the original Men in Black at 10:30 a.m. (Central Time), which I don’t care for. The other three sequels run right behind it in sequence. But then they restart at 5:30 PM—which means I would need to stay up way past my bedtime.

The one movie in the series you can see almost every night is the 4th sequel, Men in Black International. The other 3: Men in Black, Men in Black 2, and Men in Black 3 all seem to run every couple of months on cable or streaming services.

Anyway, I almost never miss an opportunity to watch the first 3 whenever I find out they’re on. I watched the 4th one a couple of times and that was enough.  I like the chemistry Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones had.

There’s an article on the web you can read to get up to speed on the movies. I disagree with the author on one point. Technically speaking, it was not Agent J who neuralyzed Beatrice. It was Agent K who zapped her with his neuralyzer. Agent J just refined Agent K’s memory adjustment script, which made it a team effort.

The AARO Finally Has a Website And is it Part of a Zero-Sum Game?

The All-Domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO) finally has a website—more than a year after it was formed.

It looks like there’s an intriguing message in the section “Coming Soon: US Government UAP-Related Program/Activity Reporting.” It says AARO will accept reports of UAP from current government employees who know of any programs or activities related to UAPs dating back to 1945.

One sentence tells you “This form is intended as an initial point of contact with AARO; it is not intended for conveying potentially sensitive or classified information.  Following the submission of your report, AARO staff may reach out to request additional detail or arrange for an informational interview.”

Several other sections provide further information and pictures and videos on UAP.

I wonder if all this is a reaction to the House Oversight Committee Hearing on UAP on July 26, 2023. Either the website has been under construction for all of last year and was just finished a couple days ago or it was just thrown together recently.

This makes me think of a couple of things, one is Dr. George Dawson’s blog post “Is This An Episode of the X-Files?” The other is an X-Files episode itself, “Zero Sum” which Sena and I just saw a couple of nights ago. We don’t remember seeing it when it first aired in 1997. You can read the Wikipedia article about the episode.

The gist of it is that Assistant Director Skinner makes a deal with the Smoking Man in which the latter will save Agent Scully’s life (she’s dying of cancer related to alien experiments) if Skinner hides the death of a postal worker who was killed by a swarm of bees carrying smallpox. This is part of a complex plot by a group called the Syndicate which is either trying to work with extraterrestrials to either exterminate the human race or save it (depending on which episode you watch) by using bees as a vehicle to transmit either smallpox or a vaccine to cure the Black Oil, which screws you up pretty bad. Part of this is my interpretation because the storyline sometimes is not clear about this to me.

Anyway, the back-and-forth actions and reactions of the characters, especially Skinner and the Smoking Man, are pretty good examples of a Zero-Sum game, loosely defined in that neither gets much of an edge on the other as they both try to counter each other’s efforts in what is probably just a power struggle from the Smoking Man’s perspective and a desperate effort to save Scully’s life from Skinner’s perspective.

Anyway, I wonder if the UAP reporters and the government (including the AARO) might be in some kind of zero-sum game. UAP reporters try to get the government to admit that Extraterrestrial Biological Entities (EABs) and Extraterrestrial spacecraft exist. But the government denies it. Neither side ever seems to get much further ahead of the other.