Go Retire Psychiatrist

We like to watch the Weather Channel. One of the meteorologists is very conservative in his forecasts. He’s always hedging:

“And here we see a radar signal that might be indicative of a tornado, not saying it definitely is a tornado, just saying it might be, and over here in this county next to a major or minor highway are what appear to be remnants of an atmospheric river although that’s according to the GPS Model mind you, and you always have to remember the European Model might say something different about what might happen, not what’s going to happen mind you, just that it possibly could transform into a manifestation of the Norse god Thor who could have a huge hammer, although that’s from mythology so you can’t rely on that definitely and if you do, let me remind you that I have a lawyer who might just give you a telephone call if you happen to make the mistake of depending on a meteorologist to forecast anything exact and reliable for goodness sake, like the occurrence of a named storm in your vicinity which might be in the Midwest, or the eastern seaboard, you just can’t know with any degree of certainty now that climate change has us in its indefinable grip as we say, so you want to be prepared for whatever might occur, which could include skies that are clear to partly cloudy to filled with UFOs as far as the eye can see but take it from me you didn’t hear that from me.”

Boy, meteorologists have a tough job.