Category: science

Iowa Legislature Offering Cheese and Crackers on the Bill of Fare

I heard a song entitled “Cheese and Crackers” on the Big Mo Blues Show last night. I’ve heard a few times over the years, but I never looked up what it meant until today.

The song was originally written by a rockabilly singer named Hayden Thompson, although I’ve only heard it sung by blues artist Roscoe Gordon. According to a Reddit social media thread, “Cheese and Crackers” was the B side of a record by Thompson and the A side was “Shoobie Oobie.” Thompson couldn’t find anyone to arrange the “Cheese and Crackers” lyrics at a recording studio and left in a huff, leaving the lyrics on the piano.

Roscoe found it and put it in an R&B arrangement. Billboard magazine called it the strangest new release of the week. The song is about a guy repeatedly being offered cheese and crackers although he doesn’t like or want them. According to a Wikipedia article, the term “cheese and crackers” is a kind of mild swear word chilled down from “Jesus Christ.”

That’s funny, because that’s how I feel about all the anti-vaccine bills coming out of the Iowa Legislature this year. One of them is SF 2095, which seeks to penalize private postsecondary colleges and universities if they don’t accommodate students who want to be exempt from all vaccines for any reason and to find clinical training programs who will accept them. An excerpt from the bill:

“A postsecondary school offering a degree requiring a clinical rotation shall, upon request of a student enrolled in the degree program, identify a clinical rotation placement where the student will be permitted an exemption from any vaccination requirements imposed by the placement location during the duration of the student’s clinical rotation.

A postsecondary school not in compliance shall not qualify as an eligible institution for the purposes of Iowa tuition grant.”

The other punishment could be a fine. Unless I’m looking on the web in the wrong place, I don’t find any such facility anywhere in Iowa. That would mean the postsecondary private school would be punished for something it can’t control. I’m pretty sure that would be called unjust—or maybe tricky if the goal is to coerce clinical training program leaders to loosen up their vaccine exemption policies. Right now, the only exemptions are religion or medical.

This sounds like the Iowa legislature is offering us cheese and crackers. No thank you.

Update to the Anti-Vaccine Bills in Iowa Legislature

This is just a quick update to the Iowa legislature anti-vaccine bills as far as which ones have passed what is called the first funnel. Here’s a link to the definition of a funnel.

Which bills got past the first funnel:

SF 2095: This bill is about private colleges or universities that would be punished if they don’t make accommodations for students in health care education program who want to avoid getting vaccines.

HF 2171: This bill would remove the requirement for children in primary and secondary schools to get vaccinations. I think this bill is dangerous and unnecessarily puts children at risk for infectious diseases including diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus, poliomyelitis, rubeola, rubella, and varicella.

Which bill didn’t get past the first funnel:

HF 2287: This was the bill that sought to make vaccine manufacturers who want to sell their products in Iowa give up their immunity from lawsuits under the Childhood Vaccine Injury Act.

I couldn’t find out where the ivermectin over-the-counter bills (HF 2056 and HSB 694) were in the funnel as of today.

That make 5 bills in the Iowa legislature that are anti-vaccine-5 bills too many.

Iowa Legislature Bills I Could Live Without

I should stop reading the news. I’ve just found a couple of other Iowa Legislature bills that are anti-vaccine.

One of them is the HF 2287 I mentioned yesterday that would make vaccine manufacturers steer clear of Iowa altogether.

Another two I just discovered today:

HF 2171: This one which seeks to make vaccines for school age children voluntary. No child in elementary or secondary school in Iowa would have to be vaccinated against diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus, poliomyelitis, rubeola, rubella, and varicella. This is not safe for anyone.

SF 2095: This one seeks to exempt students from vaccines in medical, nursing, or other health care-related degree programs.

There’s a news article about SF 2095 which makes it clear what it is about. I don’t understand why a person studying medicine or any other health care-related degree program would not need to get vaccinated against communicable diseases. This bill would require private schools to provide some other alternative training program instead of those that require vaccinations. If they don’t, they’d be penalized, either by losing access to the Iowa Tuition Grant Program—or getting fined. None of that makes sense to me. If you’re in training to be a doctor, you should get vaccinated. If you don’t understand why vaccinations are vital to practicing medicine, you shouldn’t be in medicine.

If I sound like a curmudgeon about all this, so be it. I’m a retired doctor and I graduated from the University of Iowa College of Medicine in 1992. I spent my career practicing consultation-liaison psychiatry, so I was always at the interface between medicine and psychiatry. It was always a challenge for me to balance the art and science of medicine. And I didn’t always do it very well.

But I’m puzzled by what looks like an awkward imbalance in the view of medicine today. I’m a little cranky about it, and I like to think my age entitles me to react that way sometimes. I could add a quote from William Osler here, but I’m more prone to jokes as a I get older, probably because I know I’m no wiser than anyone else.

Did you hear Chuck Norris got the Covid vaccine? The vaccine is now immune to everything.

Iowa Vaccines and Legislature Proposed Bill Deja Vu

I see we have yet another bill introduced in the Iowa legislature seeking to make vaccine manufacturers liable for “design defects” resulting in injuries related to vaccines. This feels like déjà vu. Last year HF 712 targeted the Covid 19 vaccine. The bill died in the funnel. This year, the same sponsors introduced HF 2287—which is a similar bill that would target all vaccines.

One news story indicated that the sponsors were open to adding an amendment that would allow vaccine manufacturers to distribute vaccines in Iowa as long as patients sign a form that waives their right to sue the manufacturer as long as they are informed of the risks. I’m not sure how the forms would be made available to the public.

I thought patients, under the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986, already have access to the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (NVICP). Even if they don’t get compensated through that program, they can still sue the manufacturers.  I thought the “design defect” issue had been dealt with.

This new bill broadens the products in that it looks like it includes all vaccines, even those children typically get. There are already many parties have gone on record opposing HF 2287, including but not limited to:

Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America

Iowa Medical Society

Iowa Pharmacy Association

Iowa Association of Rural Health Clinics

Iowa Public Health Association

Iowa Chapter-American Academy of Pediatrics

I think vaccine manufacturers will avoid Iowa if this bill becomes law. It could lead to an uptick in the communicable diseases burden, as though we need any more of that.

Finally Saw the Movie “The Day The Earth Stood Still”

We watched the movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still” today. It was made in 1951 and I’d never seen it. Sena thinks she did a long time ago. You can watch it on the Internet Archive. Similar movies didn’t make much of a splash, some of which you might remember:

“The Sacking of Punxsutawney Phil”: An expose of how the groundhog gets fired because it can’t reliably predict when spring begins.

“The Loser Always Pays the Bill”: A delightful comedy about two guys who play Rock, Paper. Scissors 30,000 times to decide who pays for lunch.

“Let’s Get Stewed to the Gills”: An experimental film in which 3 college freshmen find ways to cope with higher education by pouring beer in everything they consume.

Anyway, the movie is about an extraterrestrial named Klaatu and his robot Gort who land in Washington, D.C. to warn everybody that it’s best not to blow up Earth and other nearby planets with nuclear weapons unless you want the robot cops like Gort from Venus to spank everybody in sight.

I can’t poke fun at this movie like I do with all the Svengoolie films. The story is fascinating, the acting is superb, and it’s been called one of the 12 greatest science fiction films of all time by none other than Arthur C. Clarke (according to Wikipedia). The cast includes Michael Rennie as Klaatu, Patricia Neal as Helen Benson, and Sam Jaffe as Professor Jacob Barnhardt.

It was based on a short story “Farewell to the Master” by Harry Bates, which you can read in its entirety on the web because the person who posted it says there’s no record of copyright currently on file.

I read “Farewell to the Master” and I can say I’m glad the movie used the name Gort instead of Gnut for the giant robot.

Now that I’ve seen the movie, I’m still inclined to speculate that maybe Frank E. Stranges got the idea for his book “Stranger at the Pentagon” from it, but there’s no way to prove it.  If you google the name of the character Valiant Thor in Stranges book, you’ll get photographs back of a man who happens to be an Australian actor named Cody Fern who was on a TV show I’ve never seen, “American Horror Story.” He played Valiant Thor and this contributes to the lore surrounding a fictional character and tends to give it a sort of semblance of reality. Stranges contributed to the mystique by presenting the events in the story as historical fact.

But the importance of the movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still” is the warning to the leaders of the nations of the world in the early days of the Cold War (and even today) that playing with nuclear matches is a bad idea.

Pelicans on Parade!

The weather was superb yesterday and we visited our favorite walking trail out at Terry Trueblood Recreation Area—along with a lot of people who had the same idea. It was around 60 degrees and not a cloud in the azure blue sky.

The highlight was the big flocks of white birds with black markings under the wings sailing over Sand Lake. Observers we encountered had different opinions about what species they were.

At first, I thought they were pelicans, which are frequent visitors at the park. On the other hand, a few thought they were storks and for a while I took their side. The further we walked and the more video I got, and the more people we talked with, the less sure we were about these very large white birds. Many people were very sure they were pelicans.

After we got home, I looked on the internet for education about how to tell the difference between storks and pelicans—and was convinced that the birds we saw were pelicans. I was able to enlarge a picture I pulled from one of my video clips which showed clearly the large bill.

I guess this is a good place for Dixon Lanier Merritt’s 1910 limerick about the pelican:

 “A wonderful bird is the Pelican.

His beak can hold more than his belly can.

He can hold in his beak

Enough food for a week!

But I’m darned if I know how the hellican!”

Despite the tall tales about storks bearing babies, the fact is their beaks are narrow.

So, this actually takes me back to the one person on our walk who was convinced that the large, wheeling birds were storks. She joked around about the idea a little and asked Sena if she knew the story about how Dumbo was born. It just so happened was lost on us because we’d never seen the 1941 Disney film Dumbo and it turns out that a stork brought Dumbo to the train dragging a car full of elephants, one of which was Mrs. Dumbo.

And there’s a very complicated explanation of the stork myth about them delivering babies to mothers—although not in their beaks but in a bundle.

Aside from the pelicans, we saw many signs of spring, including buds on the trees, the ice melting on Sand Lake, and people gazing at the sky-waiting for spring.

Update to the Iowa Legislature Bill to Make Ivermectin Available Over the Counter

Pursuant to my previous post about the debate in the Iowa Legislature over a proposed bill to make Ivermectin available over-the-counter (OTC) in Iowa, it looks as though hydroxychloroquine was recently dropped from the bill. Although few people say it out loud, in my opinion, it’s no secret that the main reason for the bill is to make ivermectin available to those who want to use it to treat Covid-19, despite there being no convincing evidence that it’s effective for that.

However, yet another bill was introduced by the governor which has its own ivermectin promotion section; so, there are now two ivermectin bills. They look the same.

The Iowa Board of Pharmacy is opposed to them because the language obliges them to comply with dispensing ivermectin to patients even if it might potentially harm them.

Although the bill removes penalties for dispensing ivermectin, there seem to be no specific penalties to pharmacists for refusing to do so. About 3 years ago, a pharmacist refused to fill a prescription for ivermectin that was intended for treatment of Covid-19.

A similar bill in Utah was not passed about 4 days ago. Supporters of the bill appeared to be engaging in passing misinformation about ivermectin for Covid-19, claiming there was “plenty of data” supporting its effectiveness for it. In fact, the FDA has not approved its use for treatment of Covid-19.

I wonder if there might be a justification for a kind of civil disobedience by pharmacists by refusing to give OTC ivermectin to patients. The other question is what does the Iowa Board of Medicine think about this? Is it right to leave physicians out of the loop in this situation?

It seems ironic that a legislator who is an internist, Dr. Austin Baeth, is on the right side of this debate by opposing the bills, yet the state medical board seems to be silent. Would it be appropriate for the state medical board to take a public position about this issue as the pharmacy board has?

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pentagon

So, just for laughs I sometimes watch Ancient Aliens (you know, the UFO show with the hair dude). Last night, they were talking about some guy named Valiant Thor as if he were a real person. Maybe some of you know about the book, “Stranger at the Pentagon,” which you can read for free on the Internet Archive. I just quickly clicked through the pdf of it and it’s pretty interesting. The one I saw had sections about Men in Black (MIB) in it, which of course means Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are even older than we think.

It was written in 1967 by Dr. Frank E. Stranges and it’s supposedly a story of an extraterrestrial named Valiant Thor who presented to the White House in the 1950s and spoke to President Eisenhower and others, giving the urgent message that Earthlings need to shape up or the planet would be destroyed.

OK, the spoiler is that there’s no evidence this ever happened, although many people, like Fox Mulder, want to believe.

I want to believe, too but there’s no official record Vai (as Valiant Thor is sometimes called in the book) ever lived at the White House, although maybe he snorted something you can sometimes find in the White House but nobody officially will admit that ever happens either.

One person stated that the idea for the book might have come from the 1951 film “The Day the Earth Stood Still.” Artificial Intelligence (who always butts in to my web searches) doubted it’s ever been on the Svengoolie TV show, but I found a Facebook post from 2025 which called it a “Sven fan favorite.”  It’s probably never been on Svengoolie because it’s far too classy. There’s an interesting article about it on Turner Classic Movies but I don’t know if TCM ever showed it.

As near as I can tell from just from what I’ve read on the web about this movie is that it was made in the early Cold War days and it’s really sending a message to mankind warning them away from killing everybody and the planet and instead strive to establish peace in the world. It’s long been regarded as a cinema masterpiece.

Did it influence Dr. Stranges to write the book “Stranger at the Pentagon”? I don’t know, but some people think so, judging from one social media comment. I think that person might have been put off by the attempt to make it sound like it was historically accurate, which is what many people seem to think.

In my opinion, the whole yarn about Valiant Thor is fiction that, while not historically accurate, is compelling enough to make you think about how important it is for national leaders and people who live on the planet to try and clean up our act. Efforts to make this story seem like it actually happened backfires and misses the point.

By the way, none of this has anything to do with Bigfoot.

What Wildlife Does Not Know About Nature Valley Snack Bars

We finally finished up the batch of Nature Valley Chocolate Peppermint Wafer bars. The label says says they are “naturally flavored with other natural flavor.” The comical TV commercials in the last couple of years show cute woodland creatures like squirrels bitterly complaining about the dirty nuts they have to put up with compared to the Nature Valley bars with “chocolatey stuff.”

We think the commercials are funny, but the animals are apparently unaware of the dark underbelly of Nature Valley snacks. The product label clearly lets you know about the “bioengineered” material in the snack bar, which only piques your wonder about what that’s supposed to mean. You can read more about it on the FDA and USDA websites.

And then there’s the flak about the lawsuit back in 2018 which led to General Mills dropping the claim that Nature Valley products were “100% Natural” and settling a lawsuit filed by consumer groups that the products contained trace amounts of the chemical “glyphosate” which is in a common weedkiller called Roundup. The amounts were well below the allowable safe benchmarks.

You know that reminds me of that flap a year ago when a consumer group filed a lawsuit against The Girl Scouts about selling their cookies which were alleged to contain the same pesticide. I scanned the web and it looks like the lawsuit was voluntarily dropped by the main plaintiff although it may still be alive and kicking because there are others who are still part of the litigation. There’s zero evidence supporting their claim.

And then there was the Listeria recall back in 2016 related to specific Nature Valley bars. Do squirrels need to worry about Listeria? Probably not, because they can’t read even though they can talk and play clever tricks on humans.

Our only complaint about the Nature Valley wafer chocolate peppermint bars is that they lack any detectable taste. I used to eat Nature Valley granola bars every day as part of my nutritious lunch and aside from the growth of bilateral 18-inch-long antennae on my forehead, I didn’t notice any problems.

Groundhog Day Finally Explained

Well, by now everybody has heard the official news about what Punxsutawney Phil saw this morning since it’s Groundhog Day. On the other hand, the unofficial news is this: for some reason he saw extraterrestrials instead of his shadow. I know about it only because a drunken official calling me from the Pentagon spilled the beans to me and abruptly hung up just before he passed out.

Apparently, they were looking for a decent rib joint, which they’re always on the lookout for after traveling halfway across the galaxy.

You have to question the ETs preference for using so much fuel and creating missing time and hallucinations for thousands of people gathered for this time-honored and totally bogus event which the editors of The Old Farmer’s Almanac repeatedly try to debunk in a futile attempt to educate us about the seasons.

What almost nobody knows is that recently declassified government documents obtained by Brer Rabbit has led to the discovery of yet another conspiracy to hoodwink the American people about the ETs preoccupation with finding the best BBQ rib joint in the galaxy, which is genetically linked to their inability to distinguish humans from woodland creatures whose only real purpose in life is to dig holes in the ground so they can secretly write books circulated only amongst groundhogs about how silly it is for humans to call them ridiculous names like “whistle pigs.”

The truth is groundhogs know perfectly well how the seasons change and it has nothing to do with them—it’s all about the tooth fairy. But…ETs can’t handle the truth, as Col. Jessup has repeatedly pointed out in countless memes and gifs over the years.

We can only hope this deplorable state of affairs will be rectified when scientists eventually back engineer and reverse the polarities of the device (which is, trust me, stored in a cardboard box in a garage in Area 51) ETs use to hypnotize the criminals amongst their own kind into endlessly flying around in their souped up Tic-Tac UFOs in the absolutely pointless search for the perfect rib joint—all because the ET leaders can’t come up with a better solution to close the gaps in their worthless criminal justice system.

I hope I have made all this clear. Happy Groundhog Day!