We finally had lunch with Miracle Whip and American cheese sandwiches a few days ago. They were delicious! An extraterrestrial even showed up, begging for a bite.
Miracle Whip sometimes attracts ETs. I’m surprised more people don’t try this method of getting photo evidence for the existence of these creatures.
Sena is still planning to make Beignets sometime in the near future. She did make some really tasty funnel cakes though, using that Southern Living cake mix.
I saw the Bigfoot episode of The Proof is Out There last Friday which purportedly showed thermal images of two Yowies, the Australian version of Bigfoot. I was shocked when host Tony Harris said the video was either a hoax or possibly Yowies—and went with “Possibly Yowies.”
Interesting name, “Yowie.” It sounds like something I’d yell if I accidentally touched a stovetop burner. Actually, a Wikipedia article about it says it was originally called “Yahoo,” which is something I might yell if I won the lottery.
Supposedly the thermal imaging shows two Yowies hugging a tree. The tree looked pretty skinny. I would think that a 9-foot tall, 800 lb. cryptid would crush rather than hug such a little tree. And will someone please tell me why DNA evidence, footprints, or poop samples were not obtained?
I quickly glanced at a few web articles which said there’s no physical evidence for the existence of the Yowie in Australia. I’m thinking it’s high time we capture one with a method that is guaranteed to work. Here’s how you catch a Yowie:
First you dig a hole and fill it with ashes. Carefully place peas around the hole. When the Yowie comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Then we can start serious scientific study of the critter. The first thing you have to learn is not to call it a critter, which is undignified. The proper title would be Sir Cryptid Yahoo Yowie, Esq.
Test whether it prefers beef jerky, vegemite, or politicians for lunch.
We might start by teaching Sir Yowie how to dance. No doubt you’ll recall the 1974 documentary film “Young Frankenstein” in which the Frankenstein monster does a pretty fair job of tap dancing.
See if Sir Yowie can learn how to juggle. One problem might be that it could be better at basketball, given its height and strength. You juggle while Yowie dribbles. Don’t argue.
See if it can learn to play cribbage. However, a crisis could arise if you don’t let it win the big annual American Cribbage Congress tournament (I think it’s in Virginia Beach, VA this year). How would you calm down a giant who smells like it needs a diaper change?
I watched The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch the other night and the investigators got really excited over seeing what they called a wormhole portal in the Triangle area of the ranch. Somehow, it was detected by LiDAR, which stands for light detection and ranging. It measures distance using light instead of sound like radar does.
I didn’t know you could use LiDAR to detect wormholes.
Anyway, the whole team including Travis got so worked up about it the show got interrupted so that all the actors (I mean investigators) could calm down by mindfulness meditation. It was better than finding a mutilated cow.
Prior to finding the wormhole, they had guys shooting rockets, flamethrowers, and electricity bolts into the sky at about the 30-foot level where weird things usually happen, like orbs.
You never see much beside orbs. I’m not sure how you think of an orb of light as a UFO or spaceship that could be drivable by an extraterrestrial. I can’t imagine a humanoid fitting into an orb and operating it even with something like a car with a push button transmission. Remember those? When I was a kid, we had a friend who got one. She was really proud of it. I think it was a Chrysler from the 1950s.
I’m not sure where they’ll go with the wormhole thing now. Would they ever try to enter the wormhole? I thought wormholes destroyed everything that got too close to them.
They’ve been stuck for so long to come up with something different to give viewers the idea that there’s something really paranormal out there that they’ve had to add an extra show, Beyond Skinwalker Ranch. I haven’t watched it; it comes on a little late at night for me.
Next week they’re going to have the Utah State Attorney General as a guest star again out to the ranch. It looks like the military is out there buzzing the area with various black helicopters and generally getting everybody indignant and all worked up. Why should the military care what they’re doing? After all, it’s not illegal to shoot hobby rockets, flame throwers, and electricity bolts at the air, even if it might have a wormhole not covered by insurance in it.
A couple of nights ago, I watched a few TV shows on the Travel Channel about UFOs, extraterrestrial abductions, implants, and whatnot. I think there was some sort of marathon given that it was the Independence Day weekend.
Anyway, I was surprised to see Marc D’Antonio on a show called Alien Invasion: Hudson Valley. The story is about a community of people there who report many encounters with extraterrestrials. I’m used to watching The Proof Is Out There on the History Channel, hosted by congenial and humorously skeptical Tony Harris. On that show, D’Antonio is one of the “analysts” who appraise photos submitted as evidence for the paranormal. He’s always pretty skeptical and presents a scientific demeanor.
However, D’Antonio is also a MUFON investigator (which I found out later) and on the Hudson Valley show, he gave a detailed account of having been visited by an extraterrestrial, lost time, and woke up later in his bed, covered in his own blood, later seeing a doctor who removed some big foreign object from his nose, which he reported had probably been implanted there by the extraterrestrial. He told the anecdote matter-of-factly and I was struck by his non-scientific attitude.
I guess he and many others like him are actors in this flood of UFO TV shows which are very entertaining and give the appearance of being investigative in their purpose. D’Antonio appeared to be an actor, which led me to doubt the authenticity of his role on The Proof Is Out There.
They kicked around the idea that extraterrestrials were implanting objects in people to track the ones who are Rh negative blood type. They suggested that extraterrestrials need to use humans as some kind of blood bank. That reminds me of a line from Men in Black II:
Newton: Gentlemen, before I start the tape, one more thing—what’s up with anal probing? I mean, do aliens really travel billions of light years just to…
On the other hand, the Hudson Valley thing was a confusing mix of ghost hunters and alien hunters. They used a device that I think they called an electromagnetic field (EMF) meter, which you can purchase on Amazon along with many other ghost hunting gadgets. The women actors shrieked predictably as they reported feeling invisible hands stroke their hair.
I thought the show was supposed to be about extraterrestrials, not ghosts. They tried to cover the bases by tossing out terms like interdimensional beings, ghosts, and extraterrestrials. Most IMDb reviewers generally panned the show as being unbelievably bad, which is right.
A program previous to that was about some podiatric surgeon named Roger Leir who removed a lot of foreign objects out of somebody’s foot and then claimed they were implanted by aliens. Leir sent the objects to a lab, which identified them as being made of common elements. Somehow, he got the idea they were from outer space.
But they didn’t mention that in the show. They brought in some other expert who claimed they were parts of alien nanotechnology. The only thing I could find out about that was on, oddly enough, an Ohio State University web page article about Leir that seemed out of place on the OSU website. The article was seemingly supportive of his claim that the objects were alien implants.
I think the shows should be more clearly identified as being entertainment in nature, not investigative. If they want to get more viewers, they might try adopting the Mountain Monsters approach, which is to make a parody about the subject. At least the humor would valuable.
I wish I could have made the title of this post “Why It’s So Hard to Be a Human.” But that would mean I know why it’s so hard to be a human.
The reason this comes up is because of a song I heard last Friday night on the Big Mo Blues Show on KCCK radio in Iowa. The title is “Hard To Be A Human.” I’ve never heard of the vocalist, Bettye LaVette, who has been around a long time. A musician named Randall Bramblett wrote the song and he’s been around forever too, although I just learned of him as well.
I’m going to connect this song with the paranormal show I usually watch on Friday nights, “The Proof is Out There,” which I watch after I listen to the Friday Night Blues with Big Mo.
The show lives on videos from people who report seeing and hearing things like UFOs and Bigfoot or whatever that’s paranormal. There are a lot of fakes and conventional explanations uncovered on “The Proof is Out There,” including UFO videos sent in by contributors.
The reason I’m connecting the song “Hard To Be A Human,” to the paranormal is the letter “A” in the title. There’s another song with a similar title, but without the “A.” In my mind, leaving out the article “A” makes it clear that song is about humans for humans.
By contrast, the song with the article “A” makes me think of extraterrestrials. “A human” could imply that there might be some other life form aside from humans. Of course, there’s no such song as “Hard To Be An Extraterrestrial” (or, if you’ve read Douglas Adams’ book, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” maybe “Hard To Be A Vogon”). Insert “Martian” if that makes thinking about this any easier, which it probably won’t.
There is a song entitled “Hard To Be Human,” which I think is really about how difficult it is to be human, without considering whether there could be any other beings besides the human ones.
Just adding the specific article “A” in front of the word “human” led me to wonder if you could interpret the song in a galactic sense. Now, I have no problem admitting that all this is probably just because of the temporal juxtaposition of the song and the paranormal TV show.
On the other hand, I have this thought. While I couldn’t find the full lyrics to “Hard To Be A Human,” I could understand some of them. I could discern underlying themes suggestive of Christianity. There are definite references to the Bible, such as walking in the garden “apple in my hand”, the lyric “I’m just another life form,” and “First He made the mountains, then He filled up the sea; but He lost his concentration when he started working on you and me.”
I’m willing to concede that the “just another life form” phrase might have been restricted to just the life forms on planet Earth. However, might it suggest that God made beings (and mistakes) on other planets and their inhabitants?
I hope these references are familiar to at least some readers, because I think the point of the song might go beyond the everyday struggle of being human. I think there might be an attempt to raise the notion of trying to compare the sense of being a human with that of some other kind of being not from this planet.
The older I get, the less sure I am that a human is the only kind of being in the universe. It’s a big universe. If we’re not the only life form in the universe, could life be harder for other life forms?
Probably the answer is no. I don’t see extraterrestrials in millions of flying saucers blotting out the sun in a desperate attempt to move here. Inflation is outrageous. And, after all, it’s pretty hard to be a human.
I watched one of the new episodes of The Secret of skinwalker Ranch the other night. The use of special imaging techniques led to finding what looked like little tunnels running underground in one area of the property.
That led to trotting out the little excavator and digging up the ground. They found some light-colored veins of dirt, which they analyzed. They contained elements, things like sodium, potassium and whatnot. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t compare that to the surrounding normal-looking dirt, because I think dirt everywhere has those elements in it.
I think one of the scientists/actors, Dr. Travis Taylor, mentioned that this kind of dirt might be able to transmit electricity. That got me thinking about Nikola Tesla and his fascinating experiments with electricity. I’m probably all mixed up about his theories but I think he tried to send electricity through the earth in an effort to show it could be transmitted without wires.
In fact, that led me on my usual wild goose chasing through the internet. I didn’t know Tesla almost died from cholera when he was much younger. I also found out he suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). That led me to a paper that was published in a neuroscience journal in 1999 showing that an intracellular form of cholera toxin was associated with OCD-like behaviors in mice.
Tesla also became friends with Mark Twain, one of my favorite humorists. Tesla used his “earthquake machine” to cure Twain’s constipation—by causing diarrhea.
You can learn a lot about science by watching the skinwalker ranch show. On the History Channel website, it’s subtitled as “science fiction.”
Campbell KM, de Lecea L, Severynse DM, Caron MG, McGrath MJ, Sparber SB, Sun LY, Burton FH. OCD-Like behaviors caused by a neuropotentiating transgene targeted to cortical and limbic D1+ neurons. J Neurosci. 1999 Jun 15;19(12):5044-53. doi: 10.1523/JNEUROSCI.19-12-05044.1999. PMID: 10366637; PMCID: PMC6782675.
We took the picture of the Nikola Tesla sculpture at Niagara Falls in 2015.
I was either too sleepy the other night or briefly abducted by extraterrestrials to stay up for the new spin-off TV show, Beyond Skinwalker Ranch. They hired new actors—I mean researchers. The original show, The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch, is actually interesting and I usually watch it. The actors are always firing off rockets into the sky to provoke either the extraterrestrials or the skinwalkers.
One of the cast members is an actual scientist. He’s Dr. Travis Taylor, PhD, an astrophysicist. He’s in charge of firing off those rockets. There’s a Wikipedia article on him. He has several degrees and has written many books. He’s a pretty good actor.
The other night, the show hosted a guest who was the guy who came up with the alternative name for UFOs: Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (UAP). I can’t remember his name but he was used as bait to attract attention from the ranch, which is sometimes conceptualized as being a kind of mysterious living entity, capable of ignoring humans and not creating any weirdness—and at other times causing major atmospheric disturbances and UAP activity that makes everybody on the show say things like: “We’ve got to get Travis’s eyes on this piece of dead animal skin—it’s just crazy!”
I’m not sure how any of the cast can keep themselves from laughing. On the other hand, they’ve managed to involve the Utah state attorney general. He has the same tailor as Johnny Cash, apparently. He supports the actors and seems to know better than to try and upstage any of them. He wants to know what’s flying in the air in his state. Judging from the number of sick and dead mutilated animals strewn around the 512-acre property, my guess is that it’s mainly buzzards.
The show might talk to the guy who recently identified himself as an ex-intelligence official and whistleblower who reports that the federal government is hiding numerous UAPs, many of which have no doubt been crashed on Earth by drunken extraterrestrials, none of whom have ever taken a defensive driving course and are doing hard time in underground prisons in Utah for operating UAPs while under the influence of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, an alcoholic beverage described by researcher Douglas Adams in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Try to say that sentence in one breath, I double-dog dare you.
I think the producers of the skinwalker show should consider hiring another actor, Nick Pope, the retired employee of the British Ministry of Defense. He investigated UAPs when they were still called UFOs, which of course made him a laughingstock, but that all changed when the name was changed to UAP. He is now a famous member of the Ancient Aliens team and the only one sane enough to persuade people from actually breaking down the gates of Area 51 during the Storm Area 51 crisis in 2019. He also has a Wikipedia entry. He has never publicly denied successfully completing treatment for Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster use.
Unless the new Beyond Skinwalker Ranch spinoff moves to an earlier time slot, I’ll just have to wait for the reruns. It’s probably not as funny as the original and certainly won’t equal the uproariously hilarious Mountain Monsters (which we can no longer watch because it left cable TV). Only a parody like that can top the current UAP TV program fare.
I sometimes enjoy watching one of the paranormal TV shows, “The Secret of skinwalker Ranch.” I don’t want to mention the word “skinwalker” too often because some people consider it dangerous to even say it loud because they believe the skinwalkers will latch on to you. It’s kind of a boogeyman thing. Anyhow, the actors on the show can be pretty funny, even when they don’t intend it. There’s even an astrophysicist involved. My spellchecker says the word “skinwalker” should be capitalized. I figure if I don’t do that, I’ll be safe.
Anyhow, it gives me an idea for another show some producers might want to consider, “The Secret of Wiffle Ball Farm.” It would probably get an astronomically high rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It would have a similar format to “The Secret of skinwalker Ranch.”
The setting would be in Monticello, Iowa where the headquarters is located. It’s Whiffle Tree Mercantile. There is some controversy about whether or not you should leave the “h” in the spelling or not. If you’re the least bit superstitious, you might wonder if leaving the “h” in would open a wormhole vortex which would allow a giant Wiffle Ball to zoom in with a vicious curve trajectory and bean you on the back of your head.
This isn’t so far-fetched, at least not as far-fetched as the “skinwalker” capitalization phobia. There is a story about the cartoonist, Gary Larson, getting a letter from Wiffle Ball, Inc. lawyers insisting that Larson capitalize all the letters in WIFFLE in the future and should only be used in reference to a product made by The Wiffle Ball, Inc.
Everybody knows you can put a righteous curve on a wiffle ball, maybe especially if you alter it in sneaky ways (see below). The ball has holes in it and I think I might have played it when I was a kid. If I had been a kid in 2011, I probably wouldn’t have been allowed to play it in New York instead of Iowa. It was banned as unsafe for a short while by the state legislature. People laughed at that so hard they probably peed their pants.
The name Wiffle Ball got its name from the whiff sound you heard when players struck out, mainly because of the outrageous curve a pitcher could throw with it. I think I read somewhere the inventors left the letter “h” out because it cut down on the cost of advertising. Regardless, you’ll still sometimes see Wiffle Ball spelled as Whiffle Ball.
But to get back to Whiffle Tree Mercantile (is it too late?), the mystery about it is whether or not you can find Wiffle balls for sale there. There might be a controversy about maybe a conspiracy to hide the ball from the public by favoring another meaning for “Whiffle” by tying it to the word “tree”.
Hang on to your hat, it gets pretty confusing pretty fast. The whiffle tree (which is often spelled “whiffletree”) is supposedly a mechanism to distribute forces through linkages. It can be used to connect an animal harness to a vehicle like a cart or plow. The name would be understandably be used as a cover for an antique store in Iowa.
But wait. There’s another dimension to the meaning of whiffletree. One guy says it’s a mechanical digital-to-analog converter. It’s based on the mechanical one described above, but it was a kind of calculator used in typewriters. The comments in the YouTube video are pretty enthusiastic about it, which makes you wonder what star system they’re from.
But hang on, the conspiracy and mystery go deeper than that. Some say that the whiffle tree is where you hang your whiffle bat. Okay, we need an astrophysicist or at least a scientist of some kind to play a serious role here—sort of.
In fact, there’s a story on the internet posted in 2010 about a mechanical engineering professor who studied the unhittable Wiffle Ball pitch and possibly discovered the secret. Dr. Jenn Stroud Rossmann studied the aerodynamics of the Wiffle Ball as well as something called “scuffing” which is to cut or scrape the ball so as to give it almost magical properties to make batters strike out. Scuffing is legal in Wiffle Ball, but not in regular baseball. What’s up with that?
The connection of all this with Whiffle Tree Mercantile in Monticello, Iowa is the biggest mystery, of course. What are they hiding? Why don’t they just tell us on their web site whether or not they sell Wiffle Balls? Is there an underground cache of scuffed Wiffle (Whiffle) Balls somewhere in the back of the store? Did extraterrestrials teach humans how to scuff them? Why does the internet story about Dr. Jenn Stroud Rossmann show her juggling Wiffle Balls? Is there a wormhole connecting Jones County (where Monticello is located) with Area 51 and when will the Federal Government simply admit that?
These and countless other questions could be answered in the soon to be considered blockbuster paranormal TV show “The Secret of Wiffle Ball Farm.”
In about an hour (a galactic standard week), I plan to watch yet another rerun of Men in Black. That’s the first one of the trilogy. I nearly always can find a connection with some quotes from the MIB movies and current events. I don’t care to specify the current events because they’re depressing.
The title of this post is actually part of quote from MIB 3, “…do not lie to me!” I can apply this one to just about every news story.
Another quote is often applicable in the daily news, and it’s from Men in Black:
Agent K: “We do not discharge our weapons in view of the public!”
Agent J: “We don’t got time for this cover-up bullshit! Look, I don’t know if you forgot, but there’s an Arquillian Battle…”
Agent K: “There’s always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Korilian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable planet. Agent K: “There’s always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Korilian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable planet. The only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that—they do not know about it!”
Unless there is something we can do about it, I do not want to know about the Arquillian Battle Cruiser.
I’m learning about induction cooktops. I know I’m way late in the game. The house we bought a little over two and a half years ago came with an induction cooktop. It’s the first one we ever had; we always used gas or electric stoves.
The main topic here are the noises including clicking noises we heard when using the induction cooktop. I say “we” but I should say Sena because I am allergic to kitchens.
I had to search the internet about induction cooktops. I found out way more than I wanted to know about them. I guess I can summarize that in a few lines:
Induction cooktops:
I finally checked that last point about magnetism by suddenly realizing that we had a magnet. It happens to be the magnetized lid for the space holding a deck of cards and pegs on our large cribbage board. It stuck to the bottom of one of our new KitchenAid hard anodized pans.
The old pans we had clicked a lot and there are reasons for the variety of noises you can hear. Most of the websites I noticed which describe this problem also have videos about which don’t have audio. Many of the websites say that some clicking is normal. Others will make an effort to identify the cause for the noises.
Our new cookware doesn’t make any noise at all. And they heat up very quickly. You don’t need to crank up the heat and can keep the power level pretty low.
The sound of screaming is probably from the extraterrestrial you’re trying to fry. Don’t do that.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 