Category: humor

Can Robots Lie Like a Rug?

I’ve been reading Isaac Asimov’s book I, Robot, a collection of short stories about the relationship between humans and robots. One very thought-provoking story is “Liar!”

One prominent character is Dr. Susan Calvin. If you’ve ever seen the movie I, Robot you know she’s cast as a psychiatrist whose job is to help humans be more comfortable with robots. In the book she’s called a robo-psychologist. She’s a thorough science nerd and yet goes all mushy at times.

The news lately has been full of scary stories about Artificial Intelligence (AI), and some say they’re dangerous liars. Well, I think robots are incapable of lying but Bard the Google AI did sometimes seem to lie like a rug.

In the story “Liar!” a robot somehow gets telepathic ability. At first, the scientists and mathematicians (including the boss, Dr. Alfred Lanning) doubt the ability of robots to read minds.

But a paradoxical situation occurs with the robot who happens to know what everyone is thinking. This has important consequences for complying with the First Law of Robotics, which is to never harm a human or, through inaction, allow a human to come to harm.

The question of what kinds of harmful things should robots protect humans from arises. Is it just physical dangers—or could it be psychological harms as well? And how would a robot protect humans from mental harm? If a robot could read our thoughts, and figure out that our thoughts are almost always harmful to ourselves, what would be the protective intervention?

Maybe lying to comfort us? We lie to ourselves all the time and it’s difficult to argue that it’s helpful. It’s common to get snarled in the many lies we invent in order to feel better or to help others feel better. No wonder we get confused. Why should robots know any better and why wouldn’t lies be their solution?

I can’t help but remember Jack Nicholson’s line in the movie “A Few Good Men.”

“You can’t handle the truth!”

Dr. Calvin’s solution to the lying robot’s effort to help her (yes, she’s hopelessly neurotic despite being a psychologist) is a little worrisome. Over and over, she emphasizes the paradox of lying to protect humans from psychological pain when the lies actually compound the pain. The robot then has the AI equivalent of a nervous breakdown.

For now, we’d have to be willing to jump into an MRI machine to allow AI to read our thoughts. And even then, all you’d have to do is repeat word lists to defeat the AI. So, they’re unlikely to lie to us to protect us from psychological pain.

Besides, we don’t need AI to lie to us. We’re good at lying already.

Look at Us Back on the Scott Blvd Trek!

The weather was pretty good for a walk on Scot Blvd the other day. Right away I got a video clip of an Indigo Bunting, a bird I haven’t seen in over 20 years! It was sitting on a thin grass stem which couldn’t hold its weight. It looked like it was sinking lower and lower on a slow elevator.

The people we passed along the way were friendly. Just looking at the landscape while sitting next to the Sitting Man was relaxing.

The video of the song “Then You Look At Me” by Celine Dion also fits, depending on your mood. Looking at nature puts you in the mood. Try not to think of robots.

Every Minute Counts in Physical Activity for Health Even If Your Step Counter Does Not Count It!

If you want a quick read for how every minute counts in physical activity for your health, see the JAMA article “Physical Activity for Health—Every Minute Counts” (Katzmarzyk PT, Jakicic JM. Physical Activity for Health—Every Minute Counts. JAMA. 2023;330(3):213–214. doi:10.1001/jama.2023.11014).

Just for fun, I tried to see if about 5 minutes of juggling would result in a change in the step counter on my cell phone. Unfortunately, it didn’t but I sure could feel the effort!

As the authors state, public health recommendations for physical activity set a bar of 150-300 minutes a week of moderate intensity aerobic activity to get substantial health benefit.

But you benefit from just about any increment below that level. Your step counter probably won’t register it, but you can feel it.

I made a short demo video to show what good exercise juggling is. I didn’t cut any mistakes (and obviously increased the speed on it because 5 minutes is a bit long). Anybody can tell I’m pretty puffed out at the end.

Try juggling for physical activity!

I’m Reading Isaac Asimov’s Book “I, Robot”

I just got a copy of Isaac Asimov’s book “I, Robot” the other day. I’ve been thinking about reading it ever since seeing the movie “I, Robot.” As the movie opens, you see the disclaimer saying that the movie was “…inspired by but not based…” on Asimov’s book of the same name.

In fact, the book is a collection of short stories about robots and in the first one, entitled “Robbie” I saw the names of several characters who were transplanted from the book into the movie, Susan Calvin (the psychiatrist), Alfred Lanning, and Lawrence Robertson.

Robbie is the name of the robot who has a special, protective relationship with the 8-year-old daughter of parents who don’t agree about how Robbie could have a positive influence on the girl.

The first of the 3 Laws of Robotics is mentioned in “Robbie.” It is central to the close bond between the little girl and the Robbie All 3 are below:

First Law

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Second Law

A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

Third Law

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

I just started reading the book. I read a few of the negative reviews of the book on Amazon because when most reviews are effusively positive, it’s difficult to get a balanced view of what the flaws might be. One person called it an “old chestnut” and gave it only 2 stars. Another reader was put off by the old-fashioned portrayal of the relationship between men and women.

Well, after all, the book was published in 1950.  A description of their relationship goes like this between the husband and wife:

And yet he loved his wife—and what’s worse his wife knew it. George Watson, after all was only a man—poor thing—and his wife made full use of every device which a clumsier and more scrupulous sex has learned, with reason and futility, to fear.

I’m not at liberty to comment about this.

Moving right along, the story addresses the fear people had of robots—which many of us still have now, in the age of Artificial Intelligence (AI). We tend to forget AI is not independent, like Virtual Interactive Kinetic Intelligence (VIKI) in the movie I, Robot. Why does it have a female name?

Talk about the stereotypical men and women of the 1950s.

Braunschweiger Slices a Big Winner!

Sena bought a package of Jones Dairy Farm Braunschweiger slices recently and made a great lunch of sandwiches with Miracle Whip and a side of Korean Kewpie Mayo Corn dish. She asked me first whether I wanted to try the sandwiches with cheese instead of Braunschweiger. My friend Dr. George Dawson prefers cheese instead of Braunschweiger with Miracle Whip on his sandwiches.

I had to think hard about it, but I chose the Braunschweiger slices—this time. Maybe cheese next time.

Anyhow, Braunschweiger or cheese with Miracle Whip are guaranteed preferred items on sandwiches according to the U.S. Constitution, as quoted below from Article VIII:

In order to establish the items of choice for the perfect sandwiches we do hereby recommend Braunschweiger or the cheese of your liking, preferably with Miracle Whip salad dressing as soon as it is invented, by our estimate not sooner nor later than 1933 according to the founding fathers who are from a different galaxy where time travel has been mastered and which enables them to make accurate predictions about the future—Benjamin “Bud” Franklin.

Glad I could clear that up. Braunschweiger slices, along with many other tasty foods, is made at Jones Dairy Farm in Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin. It’s reachable by either via U.S. Highway 151 N or I-80 E and I-88 E.

I suggest taking U.S. Highway 151 N because it is more scenic and avoids the tolls on the other route. Madison, the capital of Wisconsin, is close by and is also worth seeing.

Cribbage Pro Computer Game Demo on Brutal Level!

Sena and I enjoy cribbage. I sometimes practice using computer games. You might remember my video about Cribbage Classic last year. The other day I did a demonstration of gameplay on another game called Cribbage Pro. The developer is Fuller Systems, Inc.

It has 3 levels of difficulty: Standard (which you might call easy); Challenging; and Brutal. The developer of Cribbage Pro says that the Brutal level makes virtually no mistakes. It’s tough to beat. I won 3 in a row and then lost 2 before winning the 6th game. Fuller Systems, Inc. follows American Cribbage Congress (ACC) rules.

It’s a nice way to learn cribbage, play casual mode, or play against others on line in multiplayer mode, although I’ve never done the latter.

You can learn a lot about cribbage from playing Cribbage Pro. It has a tutorial and numerous other teaching resources for learning how to play either just for fun or with the goal of playing in tournaments.

It has a Muggins Rule Mode, which lets you count your scores manually and challenge the computer if it makes an error in its own scoring. Then you pick up the difference in score yourself. I’ve read that some cribbage experts say Muggins is mainly for people who like to argue. I’ve tried to play Muggins on Cribbage Pro, but frankly could never understand the procedure. However, among the numerous settings available you can count manually without activating the Muggins Rule.

Cribbage Pro is available for many platforms. It’s free if you can put up with ads. I paid $5 to get rid of ads. But the game itself has popups to remind you to either register to play in multiplayer mode or to rate the game. I’ve given it a favorable rating.

Watch Out for Spaghettification on Skinwalker Ranch!

I’m not up to speed on the math of black hole portal wormhole vortices and whatnot, but I think the actors on The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch need to be careful what kind of incendiary devices they’re tossing into the Triangle Area.

I barely got through the general physics introductory course at Iowa State University. I remember the momentum lab experiments—barely. My lab partner showed up late because he was really hung over. I think he asked me if I ever partied and I said I had pretty much outgrown that kind of thing. He looked at me like he was shocked and exclaimed, “You mean this crap ends?”

On the other hand, despite his hangover he grasped the momentum math better than I did.

I’m still trying to figure out why one of the actors said “A black hole?” when somebody posed the question “What does that thing look like?” referring to what looked like a black hole at ground level following a LiDAR imaging test in the Triangle Area. I didn’t know you could find black holes with LiDAR.

There was also the suggestion of funnels in the air above the black hole, leading to the team wondering if it was a portal leading to a wormhole. Everybody got excited about it, and wondered if it might explain all the weird stuff happening on the ranch. Could there be monsters, extraterrestrials, orbs, and Braunschweiger with Miracle Whip sandwiches zipping in and out of these things?

It got me looking around on the internet to find out whether black holes and wormholes could be the same thing. It turns out some scientists think there could be black hole portals on one end and white hole portals on the other end of wormholes, which I think means you get spaghettified on one end and reassembled on the other.

However, this could mean you have to be wary of spaghettification if you try to travel to another dimension through a wormhole. You don’t have to take my word for it (and you shouldn’t!). Just ask physics professors Leo and Shanshan Rodriguez at Grinnell College in Iowa. Black holes swallow up everything that comes within spitting distance from them, stretch them way out so they resemble noodles and eventually destroy you.

The only thing you can do then is call Chuck Norris, who routinely eats black holes with Braunschweiger and Miracle Whip for lunch (they taste like chicken) and farts them into another galaxy far, far away. Chuck’s side hustle is to work part time at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) where he is a part time janitor, sweeping up the little black holes it sometimes generates. That black hole the LHC created in 2012 which swallowed reality didn’t stand a chance against Chuck, who gargled it and spat reality back out.

This goes back to Einstein’s theory of general relativity of course, which proves by advanced, hyper galactic step over toe hold jujitsu level mathematical formulas that the stitches in the fabric of spacetime get all warped leading to a crazy strong gravitational pull involving stirrup pants that stretch you enough to motivate some men to spend any amount of money to increase their penis size including subjecting themselves to black holes such that they would need a carryon bag to haul it through Chicago O’Hare and believe spaghettification is just the trick although airport security has yet to devise how they can get it through the screening machine in order to avoid pat down searches which can not only tickle but also delay passenger boarding and lead to mass hallucinations of a big UFO similar to the O’Hare event in 2006, which was actually caused by a weather event according to men in black suits posing as FAA agents at the airport.

Does anybody else have a sudden craving for pasta?

Yowie the Tree Hugger!

I saw the Bigfoot episode of The Proof is Out There last Friday which purportedly showed thermal images of two Yowies, the Australian version of Bigfoot. I was shocked when host Tony Harris said the video was either a hoax or possibly Yowies—and went with “Possibly Yowies.”

Interesting name, “Yowie.” It sounds like something I’d yell if I accidentally touched a stovetop burner. Actually, a Wikipedia article about it says it was originally called “Yahoo,” which is something I might yell if I won the lottery.

Supposedly the thermal imaging shows two Yowies hugging a tree. The tree looked pretty skinny. I would think that a 9-foot tall, 800 lb. cryptid would crush rather than hug such a little tree. And will someone please tell me why DNA evidence, footprints, or poop samples were not obtained?

I quickly glanced at a few web articles which said there’s no physical evidence for the existence of the Yowie in Australia. I’m thinking it’s high time we capture one with a method that is guaranteed to work. Here’s how you catch a Yowie:

First you dig a hole and fill it with ashes. Carefully place peas around the hole. When the Yowie comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

Then we can start serious scientific study of the critter. The first thing you have to learn is not to call it a critter, which is undignified. The proper title would be Sir Cryptid Yahoo Yowie, Esq.

Test whether it prefers beef jerky, vegemite, or politicians for lunch.

We might start by teaching Sir Yowie how to dance. No doubt you’ll recall the 1974 documentary film “Young Frankenstein” in which the Frankenstein monster does a pretty fair job of tap dancing.

See if Sir Yowie can learn how to juggle. One problem might be that it could be better at basketball, given its height and strength. You juggle while Yowie dribbles. Don’t argue.

See if it can learn to play cribbage. However, a crisis could arise if you don’t let it win the big annual American Cribbage Congress tournament (I think it’s in Virginia Beach, VA this year). How would you calm down a giant who smells like it needs a diaper change?

Remember That Manual Edger Last Year?

OK, so remember that dual wheel manual edger I bought last July? It’s a Yardworks 54-inch wood handle dual wheel edger. Remember that so you never buy one yourself.

 The wheel lining started tearing off in pieces just like the old one before it. The new one was a replacement for the edger that provided about 12 years of service before it failed.

How do you like that? It was a replay of what happened last year. I just finished the job with the replacement the other day. It rolled pretty rough and I looked at the wheel, which was shredded.

It lasted one season last summer and a few edging jobs this season. It had a 15-year limited warranty. I wonder what the word “limited” signifies.

Once again, I had to run over to Menards to get a new one. They didn’t have any other brand but the one I got last year. I exchanged it. It’s the same brand and has the same 15-year limited warranty.

Any bets on how long this one will last?

There are benefits of a manual edger. Traditionalists extol the virtues of sustainability, zero emissions (unless you develop gas yourself and you fart while you work), and they’re less pricey. You never have to worry about gasoline, they don’t take up much space, and, according to some people, they last years longer than any motorized tool. You can’t necessarily always believe the hype. Some hardware stores don’t even know what a manual edger is; I found that out last year.

That doesn’t mean you should haul off and spend a lot of cash on something a lot more sophisticated. I’m not endorsing just any list for best manual edgers because the lists seem to be biased toward particular hardware stores. One list of the best manual edgers focuses only on step edger models with crescent shaped blades. Maybe I should consider them. They look easy to use but I’m a little concerned they might cut too deep, maybe into something I don’t want to cut. There is one method that involves using a step edger, a shovel, and a broom. It’s mainly for sidewalks that are heavily overgrown with turf. I never let it get that bad.

It can be hard to get through a list of best manual lawn edgers. I get pretty tired of the pop-up ads they fire at you so much you can’t even see the list. I could find one list of best dual wheel edgers and it was for 2022. It’s on a web site called Bestadvisordotcom. It gives the pros and cons of five rotary edgers and holds up the Ames Companies, Inc. 28112200 True Temper Dual-Wheel Rotary Edger as number one. All five have between a 10–15-year warranty. Three were possibly out of stock and I consider them relatively pricey at around $60-$70.

If this replacement dual wheel rotary edger I got a few days ago at Menards goes bad again, I might go with a crescent blade manual step edger. Menards sells them but I’ll avoid the one made by Yardworks. There’s an alternative with a 28-inch handle which might work.

Your thoughts?

Wormhole Vortex Portal at Skinwalker Ranch!

I watched The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch the other night and the investigators got really excited over seeing what they called a wormhole portal in the Triangle area of the ranch. Somehow, it was detected by LiDAR, which stands for light detection and ranging. It measures distance using light instead of sound like radar does.

I didn’t know you could use LiDAR to detect wormholes.

Anyway, the whole team including Travis got so worked up about it the show got interrupted so that all the actors (I mean investigators) could calm down by mindfulness meditation. It was better than finding a mutilated cow.

Prior to finding the wormhole, they had guys shooting rockets, flamethrowers, and electricity bolts into the sky at about the 30-foot level where weird things usually happen, like orbs.

You never see much beside orbs. I’m not sure how you think of an orb of light as a UFO or spaceship that could be drivable by an extraterrestrial. I can’t imagine a humanoid fitting into an orb and operating it even with something like a car with a push button transmission. Remember those? When I was a kid, we had a friend who got one. She was really proud of it. I think it was a Chrysler from the 1950s.

I’m not sure where they’ll go with the wormhole thing now. Would they ever try to enter the wormhole? I thought wormholes destroyed everything that got too close to them.

They’ve been stuck for so long to come up with something different to give viewers the idea that there’s something really paranormal out there that they’ve had to add an extra show, Beyond Skinwalker Ranch. I haven’t watched it; it comes on a little late at night for me.

Next week they’re going to have the Utah State Attorney General as a guest star again out to the ranch. It looks like the military is out there buzzing the area with various black helicopters and generally getting everybody indignant and all worked up. Why should the military care what they’re doing? After all, it’s not illegal to shoot hobby rockets, flame throwers, and electricity bolts at the air, even if it might have a wormhole not covered by insurance in it.