How many farts can old fart fart if an old fart walks to fart? I’m sure you’ve heard that one by now after a recent news article suggested that farting while going for a walk on the street after dinner (or any meal) could make you healthier.
It’s not like the only reason is that you get rid of gas and increase intestinal motility to prevent constipation. Some medical experts say it can help control blood sugar.
But you have to fart walk within an hour of finishing a meal to control the glucose spike. You could call it the fart walk sweet spot. There are social implications, especially if the fart walk becomes a growing trend.
What the heck should you wear on fart walks? Windbreakers.
For some reason, Artificial Intelligence (AI) has a lot to say about flatulence, but I usually pass gas over it to move on to other websites to find what might be more reliable information than you get from AI.
While farting a couple dozen times a day can be normal, if you can’t leave your house because of your Frequency Of Odoriferous Farting Impulse (FOOFI), you might want get it checked out.
Eating a lot of fiber-rich foods can lead to digestive problems that can lead to excessive flatulence. Have you noticed that when you’re in a crowd, people tend to sprint away from you? When you’re in an elevator, do people push any button to get off, even if it’s in the basement, or even between floors?
By the way, did you hear about the guy who farted on an elevator? It was wrong on so many levels.
The food choice thing can be the downside of what often happens when you follow the advice of health care professionals who tell you to avoid carbs and eat more fruits and vegetable. This can happen to guys who hit middle age and start to get that big belly. I’m not sure that the diet change will help much, especially since new studies show that guys can produce more belly fat cells as they get older.
What do you call a large, hairy cryptid who eats too much beef jerky? Bigfart.
Certain diseases can be linked to farting, like irritable bowel syndrome, celiac disease, bowel obstruction, and constipation. Funny, I thought farting was supposed to prevent constipation.
What do you say to someone who has made a commitment to daily fart walks? Conflatulations!
Today is designated Earth Day although there is such a thing as Earth Month. Among the several trees Sena planted in our back yard trees are a few that we hope exemplify the Earth Day theme, which is Our Power, Our Planet.
One of them is a dogwood, which we’re hoping will bloom soon. Dogwoods represent joy and rebirth. There are a couple of crab apple trees, a red jewel and a perfect purple. Crab apple trees represent love and all are very special to Sena and me.
Love, joy, and rebirth. They can all be linked to power, which can be the power of will. The will to respect the planet also implies respecting each other. Practicing humility can be a kind of power.
The power to be still and listen to each other can make us more open to change.
On that note, because I can’t go for long without joking around, I should retell the story about me and the walking dead meditation. About 13 years ago, I had an even more serious case of not listening to others than I do now, if you can believe that. It eventually led to my choosing to take the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) class ( see this current University of Iowa mindfulness essay). I wrote an essay for the Gold Foundation and it’s still available (I updated the links):
How I left the walking dead for the walking dead meditation (August 13, 2014)
About a year or so later, I bought Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book on Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), Full Catastrophe Living, because I was dimly aware of the burden of stress weighing on me as a consulting psychiatrist in an academic medical center. I didn’t get much out of Kabat-Zinn’s book on my first read. But then in 2012 I started getting feedback from colleagues and trainees indicating they noticed I was edgy, even angry, and it was time for a change.
Until then, I’d barely noticed the problem. Like most physicians, I had driven on autopilot from medical school onward. I had called myself “passionate” and “direct.” I had argued there were plenty of problems with the “system” that would frustrate any doctor. I had thought to myself that something had to change, but I never thought it was me.
After reflecting on the feedback from my colleagues and students, I enrolled in our university’s 8 week group MBSRprogram. Our teacher debunked myths about mindfulness, one of which is that it involves tuning out stress by relaxing. In reality, mindfulness actually entails tuning in to what hurts as well as what soothes. I was glad to learn that mindfulness is not about passivity.
But I kept thinking of Kabat-Zinn’s book, in which he described a form of meditation called “crazy walking.” It involved class members all walking very quickly, sometimes with their eyes closed, even backwards, and crashing into each other like billiard balls. I hoped our instructor would not make me “crazy walk” because it sounded so—crazy. I dreaded crazy walking so intensely that I considered not attending the 6-hour retreat where it might occur.
We didn’t do crazy walking. Instead, we did what’s called the “walking meditation.” Imagine a very slow and deliberate gait, paying minute attention to each footfall—so much so that we were often off balance, close to crashing into each other like billiard balls.
I prefer to call this exercise the “walking dead meditation” because it bore a strong resemblance to the way zombies move. One member of the class mentioned it when we were finally permitted to speak (except for the last 20 minutes or so, the retreat had to be conducted in utter silence). It turned out we had all noticed the same thing!
Before MBSR, I was like the walking dead. I was on autopilot — going through the motions, resisting inevitable frustrations, avoiding unstoppable feelings, always lost in the story of injustices perpetrated by others and the health care system.
In practicing mindfulness, I began noticing when my brow and my gut were knotted, and why. Just paying attention helped me change from simply reacting to pressures to responding more skillfully, including the systems challenges which contribute to burnout. About halfway through the program, I noticed that the metaphor connecting flexibility in floor yoga to flexibility in solving real life problems worked.
Others noticed the change in me. My professional and personal relationships became less strained. My students learned from my un-mindfulness as well as my mindfulness, a contrast that would not have existed without MBSR.
As my instructor had forewarned, it was easy for me to say I didn’t have time to practice meditation. I had to make the time for it, and I value the practice so much that I’ll keep on making the time. I will probably never again do the walking dead meditation.
Today we gather to reward a sort of irony. We reward this quality of humanism by giving special recognition to those who might wonder why we make this special effort. Those we honor in this fashion are often abashed and puzzled. They often don’t appear to be making any special effort at being compassionate, respectful, honest, and empathic. And rewards in society are frequently reserved for those who appear to be intensely competitive, even driven.
There is an irony inherent in giving special recognition to those who are not seeking self-aggrandizement. For these, altruism is its own reward. This is often learned only after many years—but our honorees are young. They learned the reward of giving, of service, of sacrifice. The irony is that after one has given up the self in order to give back to others (family, patients, society), after all the ultimate reward—some duty for one to accept thanks in a tangible way remains.
One may ask, why do this? One answer might be that we water what we want to grow. We say to the honorees that we know that what we cherish and respect here today—was not natural for you. You are always giving up something to gain and regain this measure of equanimity, altruism, trust. You mourn the loss privately and no one can deny that to grieve is to suffer.
But what others see is how well you choose.
Leonard Tow awardGetting the pinOn my lapel; in my heart
I’m still practicing mindfulness-more or less. Nobody’s perfect. We hope the dogwood tree blooms soon.
I noticed the other day that I was having trouble doing the one leg stand. It has been getting harder to sustain it past 10 seconds even. It’s not like I’ve been laying off exercising, including the one leg stand. Hey, I can even do a one leg sit to stand (barely). I posted about the one leg stand, including a video, about 2 years ago.
I found another news item and study about old farts like me and it included a new recommendation about the one leg stand. According to this study, if you can’t do a one leg stand for more than 5 seconds, you’ve got one leg in the grave. If you can do 30 seconds, then you’re all good.
So, I practiced a little more and I even tried the one leg juggling trick, which I also tried two years ago—and clearly faked on a video. Well, one leg clowning is back—and this time it’s for real. I think the Latin quote Ars Longa, Vita Brevis fits for this activity. This one leg stand thing is a skill and you have to work at it, even as you age and your life grows shorter.
I still don’t know if this would be called aging gracefully?
References:
Rezaei A, Bhat SG, Cheng CH, Pignolo RJ, Lu L, Kaufman KR. Age-related changes in gait, balance, and strength parameters: A cross-sectional study. PLoS One. 2024 Oct 23;19(10):e0310764. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0310764. PMID: 39441815; PMCID: PMC11498712.
Araujo CG, de Souza E Silva CG, Laukkanen JA, Fiatarone Singh M, Kunutsor SK, Myers J, Franca JF, Castro CL. Successful 10-second one-legged stance performance predicts survival in middle-aged and older individuals. Br J Sports Med. 2022 Sep;56(17):975-980. doi: 10.1136/bjsports-2021-105360. Epub 2022 Jun 21. PMID: 35728834.
There’s a CDC ACIP Meeting scheduled to start at 8:00 AM EST today (caught me off guard). The slides are here.
Noteworthy: Dr. Denise Jamieson, MD, MPH is chair of the CMV Working Group. She is Vice President for Medical Affairs and the Tyrone D. Artz Dean, Roy J. and Lucille A. Carver College of Medicine at University of Iowa. In the Q&A session following the Covid-19 vaccine presentation, Dr. Jamieson expressed a preference for a universal recommendation (citing implementation and uptake challenges, which other attendees mentioned as well) for the Covid-19 vaccine as opposed to a risk-based or permissive recommendation. See slide labeled “Discussion” below:
There was no vote scheduled for today’s meeting on the Covid-19 vaccine.
The presentation by Moderna on the new Covid-19 vaccine, mRNA-1283, was helpful. I gather there will be an FDA meeting about it in June.
The title of this post, which is admittedly the lead-in to a lame joke, is inspired partly by the news headlines today and partly by an essay, “Laughter: Better Than a Sharp Stick in Your Eye,” I found on The University of Iowa’s Well-Being at Iowa website. The author, Megan Gogerty, MFA, BA has some pretty sharp opinions about laughter being the best medicine. It’s not always the best.
Anyway, Reuters carried the story “China raises duties on US goods to 125%, calls Trump tariff hikes a ‘joke’,” by Joe Cash and Yukun Zhang, accessed April 11, 2025.
China is pretty upset. So, why did China tell President Trump his tariff strategy is a joke? Because they don’t get it.
Just half-kidding there; actually, I think that might be President Trump’s reply, but I really don’t understand tariffs. That’s probably why I also had trouble with the economist joke below:
Why did the Keynesian psychiatrist get fired? He told his patients to spend their way out of depression.
I found this joke on a YouTube by Jacob Clifford, an economics teacher. I didn’t get the joke, so I repeatedly replayed it because I couldn’t understand the first part. That’s because I didn’t know anything about Keynesian economics. It turns out that it’s based on the belief that proactive actions from the government (like spending) are the only way to control the economy. Get it? Neither do I but it was the only economy joke I could find that included a psychiatrist on a quick internet search.
Here’s twenty economics jokes from Jacob Clifford. They’re pretty lame, but then so is most of the political news.
I’ve been looking over some of the web articles on the Goldwater Rule, which is the APA Ethics Committee guideline enjoining any psychiatrist from making public psychiatric armchair diagnoses of public or political figures without a formal evaluation or permission to conduct one. It was originally made in 1973, years after Fact Magazine in 1964 sent out a questionnaire to psychiatrists asking for their public opinions about the mental stability of then candidate Barry Goldwater who was running for President against Lyndon B. Johnson. Many thought he was psychotic, although there was no evidence for that. Goldwater won a lawsuit against Fact Magazine, which led to the publisher going out of business. It was a big embarrassment for psychiatrists, which contributed to the creation of the Goldwater Rule.
Over the last few years and currently, many psychiatrists question whether the Goldwater Rule should be revised and abolished, making it permissible for psychiatrists who believe they have a duty to warn the public about political leaders they think might be a threat to national security, specifically President Donald Trump.
I’ve found a few articles on the web which helped me think about my own position about this. McLoughlin says the Goldwater Rule should change, but doesn’t tell us how. Glass calls the Goldwater Rule a “gag rule” and tells us why it should change. He resigned from the APA in protest. Ghaemi and others don’t agree on whether the Goldwater Rule should change, and one discussant says the rule only applies if you’re a member of the APA. Blotcky et al tell us how it could change, using sample conversations between reporters and psychiatrists.
I lean toward Blotcky et al. In fact, the final paragraph gives psychiatrists another way to express their opinions to the public. They can give them as private citizens without calling them professional judgments—which is their right.
On the other hand, if you want to know about my psychiatric interview of President Trump, you can see it below.
Mr. President, you have signed an affidavit allowing me to conduct a thorough psychiatric assessment today.
Yes, Dr. Amos, that’s correct.
Can you tell me why an Autopen was used to sign it?
I decline to answer that question on the grounds it may incriminate me.
Have you ever undergone a psychiatric assessment before?
Yes, but I had to fire her when she started asking questions about tariffs.
Very well, then. Can you tell me a little about your childhood?
It was perfect—as long as the other kids paid their tariffs.
Oh. Was there ever a time in your life marked by any problems with having access to the basic necessities of life?
Well, there was one thing. Water pressure was sometimes low, which is why I just wrote an Executive Order ensuring that low water pressure in faucets and showerheads will never again in my lifetime or yours be a problem. Make American Faucets Gush Again (MAFGA).
Thanks, I’m sure. Tell me, how would you typically go about solving an interpersonal conflict between you and others?
Raise tariffs by 300%.
I see. How about talking to people with whom you disagree?
I would say, “You’re fired.”
Would you try anything else first?
I would try tariffs.
Well, I think we’re done here. Thank you for your time, Mr. President.
Of course, this was satire.
References:
McLoughlin A. The Goldwater Rule: a bastion of a bygone era? Hist Psychiatry. 2022 Mar;33(1):87-94. doi: 10.1177/0957154X211062513. Epub 2021 Dec 20. PMID: 34930051; PMCID: PMC8886301.
Nassir Ghaemi, MD MPH.The Goldwater Rule and Presidential Mental Health: Pros and Cons – Medscape – Jun 07, 2017.
Glass, Leonard A. The Goldwater rule is broken. Here’s how to fix it. Stat News. June 28, 2018.
Blotcky, Alan D., PhD; Ronald W. Pies, MD; Moffic, H. Steven, MD. The Goldwater Rule Is Fine, if Refined. Here’s How to Do it. Psychiatric Times. January 6, 2022. Vol. 39, Issue 1
The big news for University of Iowa will be a NASA satellite mission to investigate how solar wind interacts with Earth’s magnetosphere. You can read the whole fascinating story in this issue of Iowa Magazine.
According to the story, “twin spacecraft known as TRACERS—Tandem Reconnection and Cusp Electrodynamics Reconnaissance Satellites—will begin their journey to study Earth’s mysterious magnetic interactions with the sun. The satellites will be packed with scientific instruments along with two small, but meaningful, tokens.”
The two small tokens happen to be purple guitar picks that belonged to University of Iowa physicist, Craig Kletzing, who died from cancer in 2023. Kletzing and colleagues got a $115 million contract from NASA for TRACERS. It’s the largest research award in University of Iowa history.
Kletzing played guitar in a few bands, and one them was named Bipolar—which is the only connection to psychiatry that I could see. He was dedicated to work in basic science, and he was often heard to ask “How can we make this simpler?” referring to chunking big scientific challenges into manageable goals. He was a rare person in that he was both a brilliant scientist and a great teacher. One example of his work ethic was that he skipped a meeting with NASA’s top brass in order to deliver a morning lecture on introductory physics to 275 students.
The members of the UI TRACERS team call the project “Craig’s mission.” I’m pretty sure he would have called it a team effort “… to help scientists better understand the powerful forces harmonizing throughout the universe—something the ancient Greeks described as the music of the spheres.”
And that’s what the purple guitar picks represent.
I just read Dr. Moffic’s column, “Join This Club for Mental Health” in which he described the Clubhouse movement which got started in the 1940s to help those with mental health challenges to cope with their illness and, more importantly, to recover, grow, and achieve success in life.
It made wonder if there are any chapters of the Clubhouse model in Iowa. It turns out there is and it’s Carol House in Davenport, Iowa. It’s connected with the Vera French Mental Health Center. Its namesake is Carol Lujack, who was a member when the center was called “The Frontier Community Outreach Program” in the 1980s in downtown Davenport.
I was looking at the Carol Center website where you can find many interesting features of the people and activities that go on there. The April newsletter is fascinating and funny. You can find out in the April Newsletter about a few of the current members, April holidays (there’s a slew of them), and famous quotes. One of the quotes is familiar and it’s by F. Scott Fitzgerald,
“Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over,” The quote is worded in various ways, but I remember it because I used it as an inspirational quote when The University of Iowa honored me and several of my colleagues with a Feather in Your Cap award back in 2011.
This was shortly after I returned to Iowa after an unsuccessful stab at trying private practice psychiatry in Wisconsin. And it was the second time I did that—the first time was in Illinois.
Did you know that April is National Humor Month? And have you heard the joke “What kind of candy is never on time?” Choco-Late.
One April holiday is not mentioned and that’s Arbor Day, which varies according to what part of the world you’re in as planting times differ. Sena planted a couple of new trees in the back yard.
Starting new chapters of Clubhouse is a little like planting new trees. They need watering.
First of all, if you looked up Saint therapy for depression, you might have accidentally found information on Saint Dymphna, the Catholic patron saint of those living with mental illness.
Actually, SAINT stands for Stanford accelerated intelligent neuromodulation therapy. It’s a personalized protocol for using transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) to treat severe depression. The University of Iowa is the first academic center to offer it in the Midwest.
This is a big step forward from the days many years ago when we were starting use right unilateral electrode placement for applying electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) to treat depression because it was thought to lead to fewer cognitive problems post-treatment.
SAINT is a game changer according to Dr. Nicholas Trapp, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry, who describes it as a method to pinpoint the best location in each patient’s brain to target with TMS to treat major depressive disorder. The procedure is quick and recovery from depression can be sustained for months.
Kudos to The University of Iowa. And maybe thanks to Saint Dymphna.
I read Dr. Moffic’s column today about the challenge in finding a rational solution to the objections many psychiatrists have to diagnosing President Donald Trump with a psychiatric disorder, despite the Goldwater Rule against doing that in any public forum.
Dr. Moffic points out that the high emotions aroused on both sides of the political aisle by the president has resulted in proposed legislation by Minnesota republican lawmakers to create a novel psychiatric diagnosis, Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), which may justify revising the Goldwater Rule, allowing psychiatrists to go public with diagnoses of President Trump.
I suspect that the TDS law was provoked by the conflict between democrats and republicans about the president. In fact, one of the Minnesota lawmakers has basically admitted that the bill was a prank by calling it “…tongue in cheek…” On the other hand, if this is just frustration between politicians, then I would expect that the whole thing might have been dropped a couple of weeks ago.
Yet, the bill still stands, albeit without any movement forward to committee. One of the authors, Senator Glenn Gruenhagen, has posted a comment on Facebook on March 17, 2025 (the day the bill was introduced), indicating that he knows democrats “…will never allow this bill to pass anyway, so take a breath and calm down.”
Can we do that, please? A good start might be to withdraw the bill.
I also saw a news story posted by The Guardian on March 26, 2025, quoting a New York City Child Psychiatrist, Leon Hoffman, MD, suggesting that the Goldwater Rule is too often broken, and, in response to the TDS gambit, that it might be preferable “…to develop a comparable national rule prohibiting political personnel, both elected and appointed, from creating psychiatric diagnoses as a tool against their political opponents.” Would anyone like to second that emotion?
You can’t just legislate restraint, respect and kindness in public or private discourse. Policies and laws can lay the groundwork for the eventual development of tolerance and maybe even acceptance of others. The Goldwater Rule is too often broken. The Golden Rule is too often broken as well.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 