Author: James Amos

I'm a retired consult-liaison psychiatrist. I navigated the path in a phased retirement program through the hospital where I was employed. I was fully retired as of June 30, 2020. This blog chronicles my journey.

The Geezer Remarks on Superfoods

Sena is big on eating healthy, which is a good thing. On the other hand, we don’t necessarily always like the same foods. And there’s the whole issue of what people call superfoods nowadays.

Funny, when I was a kid, I used to just refer to superfoods as “yuck!” There are variant spellings.

I read the Wikipedia entry on superfoods and it essentially says there is officially no such thing.

Take beets—please!

Sena’s big on Beets and Leeks. I’m not a big fan. I’ll eat them, of course. There’s nothing wrong with them that intravenous ipecac and a stomach transplant won’t fix. The drawback is the medical bill.

I don’t think we’ve ever had kale. Does that make the superfood list? I think it’s the same thing as mustard greens, okra, and other building materials similar to shingles.

I tried okra when I was a student at Huston-Tillotson University (then Huston-Tillotson College). I was offered this slightly slimy substance as part of a dinner at the home of my Religion and Philosophy professor and his family. It’s slimy because it contains mucilage, which is (correct me if I’m wrong but I’ll naturally ignore you) also the name of the glue we used in grade school to make valentine cards.

In fact, think of any food you dislike as intensely as any medication or tonic you had to take when you were a kid. That would be classified as a superfood. I had to take a tablespoon of mineral oil a day, which is a substance very much like mucilage.

I found out that millet is marketed as a superfood. That’s funny, because it’s also used as a filling for juggling balls. When you work up an appetite juggling, you can just bust open one of the balls and snack on a handful of bird seed, which is what millet really is.

Actually, superfoods come in handy in case you’re abducted by extraterrestrials. Whenever they look like they’re getting ready to jam some kind of implant up your nose, offer them a juggling ball. Just tell them to keep chewing through the leather shell until they get to that tasty millet center. This will give you time to write down the driving directions to the nearest barbecue joint for them (Jimmy Jack’s Rib Shack in Iowa City for example).

Anytime you need any more expert advice on superfoods, just let me know. I’m not available.

We Juggled on Our Anniversary!

Guess what we did on our anniversary yesterday? We juggled! We got another set of 3 glow balls so we could try the 2-person 6 ball pass juggling trick.

The glow balls are plastic and filled with plastic pellets. They are uniform in size and weight and have 20 different colored light modes and patterns. They are USB rechargeable. The manufacturer says they are “made to take a beating—without being too hard.”

That said, we still suggest you consider wearing safety goggles.

This is a challenging juggling trick because you have to be almost perfectly synchronized with your partner. We drop the balls a lot, but we’ve improved even since the first time we practiced. We still jitterbug around a lot and we work hard at keeping up the “1, 2, Pass” count.

You have to be pretty solid juggling the 3-ball cascade. We get a lot of practice because it’s hilarious.

Happy 46th Wedding Anniversary!

It was 46 years ago today Sena and I were married at the Little Brown Church in the Vale in Nashua, Iowa. I was a skinny guy with a big afro. She was and is a beautiful bride.

We cut the wedding cake together. We fed each other big bites. It was the biggest event of our lives.

There were other big events. The trip to Vegas and marveled at the Bellagio fountains. The helicopter ride over the Niagara Falls. The view over New York City from the Empire State Building. That was my first senior discount ticket. Sena holding a little alligator in Miami. The Lincoln Book Tower in Washington, D.C. Festooned with the birds of Hawaii.

Wherever we went, whatever we did, we were always together. She’s always fearless. She’s gone with me wherever I went, even when I was wrong. I am often wrong—but I was right about marrying her.

Gearing Up for Juggling!

Well, Sena and I have been practicing the 2-person 6 ball pass juggling trick. It’s a trick just to get synchronized. Timing is everything—and so is aim.

Sena and I both have a tendency to throw balls too high, too low, high and outside, etc. It’s Sena’s low line drive pitch I’m worried about mainly. Safety goggles are mandatory, but I’m starting to worry about other parts of my anatomy. These are the parts which call for groin armor.

In fact, why not just go all out and get a suit of armor? It might be harder to move around—but at least I’d be protected.

Sena ordered some new juggling balls. Unfortunately, none of them are soft. In fact, she ordered another set of 3 plastic glow balls, in addition to the set we already have. They’re big. They could hurt me.

And they will have an evil glow when they do. Don’t send me your prayers; get well cards are fine.

Darned Rhinorrhea Interrupting People

I’ve been having a runny nose recently that is intermittent and often related to eating hot foods. I have to get up from the dinner table and blow my nose, especially if we’re having hot soups or chili. I’ve been making fun of it, saying it’s caused by the nasal hair condensation index. You could also refer to it as Darned Rhinorrhea Interrupting People (DRIP). I looked it up on the internet and getting a runny nose is pretty common when eating and after other activities. It can happen just from getting older.

It turns out that there is a connection to eating certain kinds of hot and spicy foods called gustatory rhinitis. I never had this problem until the past month or so.

Recently, I get this even while juggling. And there is something called exercise induced rhinitis. It’s been known for over a hundred years.

I always notice I have a drippy nose when I come in the house after shoveling snow. It’s just snow melting from my nose hairs.

But I never got a runny nose from eating chili until a month or so ago.

And I found out there’s this thing called geriatric rhinitis. It can be caused by a number of things like (hold on to your tissue!) gustatory rhinitis. There are a number of other common causes including allergies, certain medications, and extraterrestrial abduction. Those darned ETs are forever sticking implants in peoples’ noses. There is a tendency to believe geriatric rhinitis needs some kind of specific treatment, such as anticholinergic sprays, immunotherapy, and a nasal cork stopper implantation procedure under general anesthesia in the outpatient Ear, Nose, and Throat surgery center. It costs only $50,000 per nostril (not covered by most insurance). ENT surgeons use a device with an Artificial Intelligence module, which can detect the difference between your nose and your eye with 50% accuracy.

Jokes aside (for a fraction of a second), I’ll admit a thought crossed my mind (an infrequent event) that I might have a cerebrospinal fluid leak, which is caused by a tear in the meninges into the sinuses and nasal passages. The fluid is thin and clear. Nasal sprays don’t stop it and you should seek medical attention if you can’t remember your name or find chunks of cerebral cortex in your Kleenex.

This blog post does not constitute medical advice and if you have DRIP, you should contact your nearest Voodoo practitioner.

Rube Goldberg Contraptions and Other Updates

Just random updates for now. That 2-person 6 ball pass juggle Sena and I made a YouTube about? We could barely complete a couple of volleys, and we didn’t think we’d ever make much more progress. However, yesterday, we were starting to make 3, even 4 passes and cascades. Just when you think it’s hopeless….

What about me and the shower juggle pattern? I have not stopped trying—but I’m really no further ahead than I was 6 months ago. It wouldn’t feel right to quit. Success could happen tomorrow.

I remember watching an X-Files episode a while ago, “The Goldberg Variation.” A Rube Goldberg Contraption is a machine that is built of a lot of complex parts that in sequence result in solving a simple task. The main character in the episode is Henry Weems, who is incredibly lucky. His life is a series of improbable, complicated sequences of events that either make him rich or foil his enemies.

Unlike most people, Henry wants to use his incredible power for good, specifically to help a kid get a special treatment for liver disease which is killing him. The results he gets are wacky and complicated and result in good things happening to others.

I wonder what makes Rube Goldberg Contraptions so focused on trivial results? I think it would be nice to build one that—write your wish here.

Note: Rube Goldberg cartoon in public domain (source Wikipedia article, “Rube Goldberg machine”).