Month: August 2022

All About the Potato Salad

I recently got a checkup for my retinal tear surgery about 4 months ago. My surgeon was pleased with the outcome. Partly based on my good outcome, he shared that he was guiding his trainees on the wisdom of not necessarily always going with the new surgical procedures for the disorder, which happens not infrequently in those over the age of 50.

In fact, the trend seems to be to do more than just the oldest operation, which is the scleral buckle, in favor of adding vitrectomy as well—a relatively newer approach. I got the scleral buckle.

Progress is good. But just because something is old doesn’t mean it’s outmoded.

We saw the Iowa State Fair episode on old farm machinery the other night. It showed how much progress has been made in farming over many years. However, those old machines replaced a lot of hard labor, so they were definite improvements back in the day.

You can learn something new and valuable by considering what is old. We saw a short film called The Foursome. On the surface, it’s about 4 old guys who have played golf together at an annual tournament for 50 years in Waukon, Iowa. Waukon is in the Northwest part of the state, close to the Mississippi River, which borders the eastern side of the state.

The show is not really about golf, of course. But before it came on, I almost decided not to watch it because of that misconception. The description gives it away, saying that it’s about friendship, small towns, golf—and potato salad.

I think it’s also about getting older. Not everybody ages gracefully and I’m including myself as a pretty good example. I’m not so sure about my memory or my hearing these days. I can stand on one leg for 20 seconds. But one day not too long ago I cracked an egg and instead of emptying the contents into the poaching pan, I dumped them on a paper towel on the countertop. I was mortified.

Sena covered for me and brushed it off, saying it was because we had been talking about the finer points of poaching eggs and I just got distracted, and some hogwash about how she’s done that too. Maybe.

In the film, one of the Foursome was showing some of the artwork he has on the walls at his home. He stopped at one and seemed to fall into some kind of reverie. The camera operator had to sort of whisper to the guy that he needed to move on.

Let’s change the subject and talk about potato salad. They filmed the wife of one of the guys making this potato salad, the recipe for which you can get for free on the web. She used Miracle Whip instead of Mayonnaise. I pointed this out to Sena, who said nothing. Miracle Whip has been around since the 1930s and I grew up eating it on sandwiches at home. I favored it over Mayonnaise.

There has not been a jar of Miracle Whip in our house in almost 45 years—which is how long we’ve been married. I have learned to like Mayonnaise.

This reminds me of one segment on the film showing the wife of one of the other guys shopping for food (including burgers, chips, and whatnot as well as potato salad fixings) for the cookout, a part of the annual golf outing for the four guys. She said it really didn’t matter what she got because “They’ll eat anything you put in front of them.”

Some of them will eat nothing but the potato salad.

There is something poignant about the irascibility alternating with poignancy in the film. Their friendship is deep enough to move one of the four guys to tears. At least that’s what it looked like.

They have the usual flaws men have, including the tendency to be stoic in the face of oncoming frailty and the specter of death.

I don’t know if I’ll age as well as they do. But I do know I will never take up the game of golf. And I wonder if you can substitute Mayonnaise for Miracle Whip in that potato salad.

One thing I’m sure of, Sena is my best friend.

No Need to Shout, I Can Hear You

The FDA just announced their final ruling on improving access to hearing aids. You can read the final ruling itself, but by the time you finish it, you’ll be dead and won’t need a hearing aid.

Every time I fail to follow Sena’s directions, I remind her of how a loud rock concert ruined my hearing. It was a Rare Earth concert decades ago in my wasted youth. What do you mean you never heard of Rare Earth?

And if you believe that, I have some prime farm land in the Florida Everglades I can sell you where you can grow all the alligators you want. Prices are slashed literally to the bone of any extra limbs you don’t think you need.

Anyway, I think I do have some hearing loss. And it would be nice to be able to get hearing aids that work without spending an arm and a leg (unless you want to talk about a real estate deal in the Everglades; make me an offer!).

A lot of people who develop hearing loss have a lack of insight into the problem. I think that might be why so many of us at least have the impulse to say things like:

“Speak up!” “Why are you mumbling?” “Quit talking with your mouth full!”

Hearing loss can lead to misunderstandings which can sometimes be hilarious. It’s probably the reason for some mondegreens, which are mishearing words in song lyrics (“Excuse me, while I kiss this guy,” Jimi Hendrix—actually the lyric is “Excuse me while I kiss the sky”).

I’m not sure when hearing aids that are effective, safe, and affordable will be available. Maybe after the aliens finish their human-alien hybridization program, which will make talking unnecessary. We can just read each other’s thoughts. That’s actually scarier than having trouble hearing.

Iowa State Fair Musings

We’ve never actually been to the Iowa State Fair, but we really like listening to the Iowa Public Broadcasting TV shows about it.

The first show covered a lot of activities. Food at the Fair is always intriguing.  We know there are a lot of foods on a stick, but we didn’t know you could get a rattlesnake corn dog—with venom sauce! It’s pretty good according to the food guy, Travis Graven. You probably won’t find it in your local grocery store.

The big animals are impressive. I always wonder why the handlers sort of guide some of the animals (like that huge boar) using those little boards.

The lemonade stand was a little thought provoking. Dad’s Old-Fashioned Lemonade stand sellers aren’t out there to make money. They do it for the nostalgia. I’m sure they do it for the tradition as well.

That’s a nod to keeping tradition alive. One of those is the 4-H program. According to the Iowa State University 4-H Youth Development web page, the 4 H’s stand for:

Head for thinking, planning, and reasoning

Heart for being kind, true, and sympathetic

Hands for being useful, helpful, and skillful

Health for taking care of yourself and your community

The Iowa State Fair is a longstanding tradition. It started way back in 1854. It was on hold in 2020 because of the Covid-19 pandemic and that was the first time since World War II it was cancelled and only the sixth time in the Fair’s 166-year history.

A tradition is defined as the transmission of a culture’s customs, beliefs, knowledge, skills and more from generation to generation. In order to do that somebody has to do the passing down of all of that. And somebody has to pick it up.

You can store some of it in electronic archives, but a critically important part of it relies on institutional knowledge in the hearts and minds of the culture’s older people. It’s a two-way street; the young listen, accept some, and improve more if we’re lucky. It’s more than facts and figures—it’s the wisdom we want to preserve.

And we want to keep the rattlesnake corn dogs, with venom sauce.

Hepatitis C Testing and Treatment Update from a Retired Psychiatrist

There is a very informative CDC media briefing transcript about why so few Americans are getting tested and treated for Hepatitis C.

I’m a retired consultation-liaison psychiatrist and I used to be the go-to consultant to the hepatology clinic back when the only treatment was interferon-alpha. Because interferon-alpha was associated with neuropsychiatric side effects, notably treatment-emergent depression, I was frequently called to help assess potential treatment candidates and on-going follow-up for some.

A significant number of patients could not tolerate the psychiatric side effects.

Back in the day, interferon-alpha was really the only treatment. Now there are many treatments available and Hepatitis C is a curable disease.

Yet, few Americans are taking advantage of the new curative treatment. There are several reasons why, including the barrier of the high cost of treatment and insurance restrictions. The patients with the highest prevalence tend to be younger than age 40 and struggle with injection drug use, commonly opioids.

A large number of those at risk for Hepatitis C don’t know they have the disease. It’s vital to know where free Hepatitis C testing is available, which can be found at the CDC web site.

Why Do We Want to Believe?

I heard a song called “Marfa Lights” on the KCCK 88.3 FM radio program, the Friday Night Blues Show with John Heim aka Big Mo. The lyrics mention the Marfa Lights, describing them as UFOs or flying saucers. It was the first time I ever heard a blues song mentioning UFOs.

I looked it up later on the web. It turns out there’s a town called Marfa in Texas where people see strange lights. Years ago (and maybe even nowadays) a lot of them think they might be UFOs or some other paranormal phenomenon, like ghosts. A couple of studies in 2004 and 2008 pretty much debunked them as automobile lights triggered by atmospheric changes like temperature inversions. Still, some people want to believe they’re something weird or cosmic.

On the same evening I heard the song, I watched an episode of Ancient Aliens which is one of those shows which has a paranormal theme, mostly involving aliens. They talked about a blind seer named Baba Vanga, whose predictions about the future are thought to be 80% accurate. The speculation by the hosts of the show is that Baba Vanga might have been tapping into a phenomenon called the Akashic Record.

Encyclopedia Britannica on the web says the Akashic Record is said to be a “…compendium of pictorial records, or ‘memories,’ of all events, actions, thoughts, and feelings that have occurred since the beginning of time.” (Britannica, The Editors of Encyclopaedia. “Akashic record”. Encyclopedia Britannica, 29 Jan. 2015, https://www.britannica.com/topic/Akashic-record. Accessed 13 August 2022.)

It’s not a physical thing, but it sounds like an ethereal public library. The Ancient Alien enthusiasts suggest that anyone can access it, even aliens (of course!)—if you have a current, valid library card and don’t have any overdue books or have at least paid up all the fines you owe.

In fact, there are a lot of entries on the web claiming you can access the Akashic Record just by formulating a clear question, like “What does Kellogg really put in those so-called all natural Kashi Granola Bars—and what exactly is Pyridoxine Hydrochloride anyway?”

Then you have to get into a pretty deep meditative state, which is nothing like mindfulness meditation. You need to ask really specific questions and insist on talking to the head librarian if you start to get the run around about certain resources being on reserve only for high-level professional mediums who charge outrageously high fees to search the record for you.

People want to believe. That’s why you can even find a WikiHow with detailed instructions for tapping into the Akashi Record to check out any of the episodes from the first season of the X-Files.

The Akashic Record might even have the Cliff Notes on what is going to happen to humans in the remote future. Ancient Aliens guys seem to spin this a couple of different ways.

One is a version of the matrix theory, which means that we’re living in some kind of computer simulation run by aliens who set this up with a special code or script that absolutely must be followed—meaning that the future is strictly determined. That would be bad because it sounds like it ends with a tremendous nuclear explosion on Mars, which humans eventually colonize but then can’t get along with each other because there are not enough rib joints for both humans and aliens.

The other future scenario is that humans evolve into beings who can tolerate indefinitely prolonged deep space exploration and go planet-hopping for the rest of eternity looking for Douglas Adams’ restaurant at the end of the universe. Forget getting in if you don’t have a reservation.

Maybe the question for the Akashic Record keepers should be pretty basic.

Why do we want so hard to believe?

What About the Deer?

I saw a very thoroughly researched article the other day about the issue of deer population management in Little Village, a monthly news and culture magazine. You get an idea of the conflict between deer and people when you read the title of the article, which contains the gentle term, “Rats with hooves.”

I was reminded of it when Sena yanked the tall grasses out of her garden recently. Later, I could hear her tapping on the windows and yelling at the deer who could now see the garden is actually a salad bar.

I have lost count of the number of deer who ask me to light their cigarettes for them after they breed on our front lawn.

And I made a video in which they cavort and chew their way across our back yard on their way to parties. For some reason, it’s gotten over 1,280 views as of this writing (8/11/2022), and got about a 1,000 in one day.

I’m not clear on exactly why deer management by bow-hunting is such a failure. Iowa City has contracted with an outside company which can cull the population by the hundreds using sharp shooters who apparently do this for a living. I guess bow hunters see this as a form of recreation.

I’m ambivalent about people killing deer. On the other hand, a deer did run into Sena while she was driving the car a few years ago. They can leave a pretty good dent and can even kill motorists.

The Little Village article quotes somebody who said that neighbors call deer “1,200-pound rats with hooves.”

That sounded pretty heavy to me. I looked it up on the web and the average deer weighs a little over 100 pounds. If they’re seeing something that big in their yards, they might be confusing a moose for a deer. And that means we’ve got an even bigger problem.

There are other ways to control the population besides shooting them. I learned that you can surgically sterilize them. It costs about $1,000 per animal. Would these be veterinarians who might call their clinic, Pay to Spay?

The other way might be to introduce natural predators, such as wolves, into the areas where deer are making themselves a nuisance. Collateral damage could become an issue during backyard cookouts. And has anybody considered the risk of werewolf contamination?

Mmmm, venison!

Could we round up the deer and relocate them to a wilderness where wolves and other natural predators could control their population? I won’t mention the name of such a place, but it starts with the letter A-L-A-S-K-A.

Could Bigfoot get involved somehow? Maybe, if scientists could come up with a way to alter the deer genetic code to make them smell like beef jerky.

According to the article, the application for participating in the bow-hunt season runs through October 21, 2022. Property owners can fill out an application to allow them on their land. Anybody up for shish kabob at their cookout?

Improve Your Sleep!

Listen to the IPR River to River Podcast episode from June 7, 2022 as host Ben Kieffer interviews University of Iowa Hospitals & Clinics neurologist and sleep disorders expert Dr. Eric Dyken who explains sleep disorders and how to get a better night’s sleep.