Recently we had somebody from the appliance store check our brand-new washing machine. The tech said “the noises are normal”—and then told us that many of the functions of the washer are run by Artificial Intelligence (AI). That was a new one on us.
Don’t get me wrong. The washer works. What sticks in the craw a little is that many of the settings we took for granted as being under our control are basically run by AI nowadays. I guess that means you can override some of the AI assist settings (which may be adjusted based on grime level, type of fabrics and the relative humidity in Botswana)—at least the ones not mandated by the EPA.
Incidentally, I tried to find some free images to use as featured images for this post. The problem is, many free pictures on the web are generated by AI these days, which is why I used the non-AI part of the Microsoft Paint app to make a crude drawing of an AI controlled washing machine.
I realize I’ll have to give up and accept the inevitable takeover of much of human society by AI. On the other hand, the prospect reminds me of the scene in an X-Files episode, “Ghost in the Machine.” A guy gets exterminated by something called the Central Operating System (COS).
Use extra detergent and add more water at your own risk.
Because we’re staying in a hotel waiting for our house to be built, we have to take a different approach with our laundry. There are laundry facilities at the hotel, but there aren’t many machines. Sena usually takes it to a place called Laundromania. The motto is “We Never Clothes.”
I went with her the other day for the first time. There are a lot of machines. As it turns out, there’s also a lot of history at Laundromania. Back in 2008, Iowa City suffered a major flood and Laundromania was under water for a while. There’s even a picture inside of the water line painted on one of the windows. We remember that time. What a mess. You can see a very dirty sign that was framed and which describes the flood.
Laundromania is a modern facility. You can put your cash into a machine which pushes out a sort of debit card-which can only be used in Laundromania. You want to be careful with that. Depending on how long you live in the neighborhood, it could be either a good or a bad thing.
Even though it’s a modern facility, Laundromania does have some quirks. The day we were there, we tried to use a dryer which turned out to have a broken door latch. We lost a little money in it. Sena put one of the Out of Service signs on it. There’s no on-site manager there but, coincidentally, shortly after she put the sign on the dryer, the service guy showed up. I guessed he fixed it.
For a short time, I tried to keep track of the dryer time using the old analog clock on the wall. Two things wrong with that: the clock doesn’t work and all the machines have digital timers on them anyway.
You can buy laundry detergent and other stuff there from a vending machine, but they’re pretty expensive.
There are a couple of old grade school desks that bring back memories. One of them is pretty dirty.
If you’re ever in Iowa City and you need to do your dirty laundry, try Laundromania.
Sena and I just recently saw the TV commercial about the Whirlpool Care CountsTMLaundry Program, which has been providing washers and dryers for schools. It was launched to address school absenteeism, one cause of which is bullying of kids who don’t have clean clothes. They are also more likely to drop out of school.
It turns out this program has been going on since 2015. And there’s an Iowa connection. In 2017, Morris Elementary in Des Moines got a new washer and dryer (Des Moines Register, “Iowa teacher meets New Yorker on Instagram, and needy school gets a big lift” by Laura Rowley, published Oct 7, 2019, accessed 12/13/2023).
According to the Whirlpool’s website about it, there are over 150 programs in schools across 40 states.
The website even lists research studies demonstrating the link between a lack of clean clothes and school attendance rates.
We reminisced about what we did about this issue when we were in grade school. We don’t remember skipping school because of dirty clothes. We managed by washing them by hand, or in my family, using an old hand wringer as well. We hung clothes out to dry on the line in the back yard. Sena did that and also used a fan.
I was sometimes bullied, but it was related to being black rather than having old clothes. I didn’t change my outfit every day because I didn’t have enough clothes for that.
When I got old enough, I delivered the Des Moines Register. Talk about nickel and diming. The rates were pretty low compared to today, but I still had some customers who complained about the price. I walked my route to collect subscription fees. I was not a great salesman but I was a steady worker, delivering papers in any weather, even dragging them in a wagon through knee deep snow.
You could buy things with your money through the paper’s main office. The first thing I bought was an alarm clock with a glass face through which the clockwork was visible. I didn’t really need an alarm clock to get me out of bed to deliver papers. I was a light sleeper even then. I just thought the clock was cool.
I saved enough money (mostly in quarters) to buy my first bicycle. It cost about $20 at Ralph’s Bicycle & Hobby Shop in Mason City. It was used and I think it was a 24 inch. I did not do wheelies.
I don’t remember buying clothes.
I remember collecting from a young couple who were obviously newlyweds. They would often both come to the door wrapped in nothing but big bath towels. I wondered if they even had any clothes. Maybe they didn’t have any laundry facilities.
Anyway, I think the Whirlpool program is a great idea.
I’m not a laundry guy, but we just got a new GE washer and dryer pair to replace the old set. I’m just going to make a few comments about the washer, model GFW850SPNDG. This is not an exhaustive review and I don’t have any conflict of interests with GE.
First let me get something off my chest about the much-vaunted ULTRAFRESH VENT System with ODORBLOCK, trademarked by Microban International, Ltd. Most of the YouTube videos I’ve seen about this feature promise you can say goodbye to leaving the washer door open to avoid the basket getting stinky from things like mold and old tootsie rolls. That might be true if you’re willing to leave the system running for up to 8 hours as it intermittently spins. Look, you can give the gasket and other areas of the washer a quick wipe-down and just leave the door open, OK?
Let’s turn to the SmartDispenser. This has to be filled in order to get the prewash option on any wash cycle. If you don’t fill the SmartDispenser compartment, I strongly suspect you won’t get prewash. My wife stood in front of the machine and watched it like a hawk after trying to add a little detergent to the SmartDispenser in addition to the detergent compartment in the front part of the dispenser drawer. The machine skipped the prewash. It’s important to be aware of this because you need to fill the SmartDispenser with up to 50 ounces of detergent, which is about half a bottle of liquid Tide. In our old GE washer, there was a dedicated, labeled prewash compartment. You can’t just put a little extra detergent in the front compartment and hope to get prewash. It won’t happen because it has to come from the SmartDispenser. Hey, I don’t make these rules.
The nice thing about the SmartDispenser is that once it’s filled, you can forget about adding detergent at all for every load. You still need to fill the fabric softener and bleach compartments as needed. When the detergent is about to run out in the SmartDispenser you’ll see a red-colored light message on the Smart Dispense digital display on the control panel saying “Tank Low” and another message below that which is labeled “Loads Left” in the SmartDispenser tank. The “Tank Low” message comes on when there are about 8-10 loads of detergent remaining (according to instructions).
The SmartDispenser adjusts the amount of soap to squirt out according to the size and composition of the load. According to instructions, a normal load weighs 8 pounds and when the SMART DISPENSE pad is set to “Auto,” it will magically determine how much to add or subtract from the standard 1.5-ounce dollop of soap. Otherwise, you can press “More” or “Less” to add or subtract 40%. If your load of clothes weighs more than 8 pounds, you should calmly put it on a diet and hire a personal trainer for it. Never fat shame your laundry.
While we’re at it, let’s look at the dispenser drawer in a little more detail. The front compartment is for liquid or powder detergent. You put either kind on the right-hand side of the goofy-looking blue flap. What matters is whether that blue flap is up or down. Flip the flap down—use liquid. Flip the flap up, use powder. The way to remember this is that when the flap covers the left-hand side, that means the flap is up. If you repeatedly flip the flap back and forth, you can put yourself into a deeply meditative state and cause world peace—which nobody seems to want.
The next two compartments to the rear of the detergent compartment are the bleach and fabric softener compartments. It’s normal for them to be swamped with water between wash cycles, according to the instructions. I don’t think you’re obligated to take the whole drawer out and turn it upside down to empty them, especially if you don’t have a sink in the laundry room. I suspect the compartments get flushed during washes. Or maybe a tiny alien flies in and sucks the liquid up to use as spaceship fuel.
The next compartment back is the SmartDispenser. It proudly advertises the Tide label. In order to get the lid open to load soap, you have to press the small blue tab in back of it so you can pull the drawer out a bit further. You can also remove the whole drawer by continuing to pull on it. Just be careful to press the tab in again as you push the drawer slowly back in place. If you slam it shut, you’ll upset the balance of the cosmos and a supernova will destroy the galaxy.
Remember, there are several GE washer models out there. Some features will not be available and some instructions will not apply—and they might mystify you. The section in our instruction book which tells you that, in order to manually select the amount of soap for a load, you should press the SMART DISPENSE pad on the control panel to select detergent for a Small or Large load. Don’t believe it; this is probably left over from a now defunct model.
OK, that’s all I got for now. I heard it through the grapevine that the next model will be a wringer washer.
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