Tag: Iowa

Can You Fry an Egg on a Driveway on a Hot Day?

Sena tried to fry an egg on our driveway yesterday—and it did not go well. Let’s get the basic internet caveat out of the way. Somebody is always asking this question about whether or not you can fry an egg on a hot day.

The usual answer is something like, “It’s possible but not probable” because concrete is not conductive enough to fry an egg. It takes a temperature of 158 degrees Fahrenheit to fry an egg the regular way. But concrete gets to only about 145 degrees. When you think about it, that’s not much of a difference, though.

We’ve been in this heat wave this week, and the temperatures have been close to 100 degrees most days. You can’t count the heat index because that’s just measure of how hot humans feel when you correct for humidity combined with the air temperature. Just for the record, it did get up to around 107 degrees with the heat index.

So, she cracked an egg on our driveway and here’s what happened.

She started the test at around 11:15 a.m., checked it 5 minutes later (really no change), re-checked it at around noon, no change of course, then didn’t check it again until around 5 p.m. See the short slide show below.

The most interesting thing was the egg shell was gone. We’re not sure what took it, but many animals will eat them: birds, squirrels, chipmunks, dogs, cats, mice, and Bigfoot although he prefers beef jerky. Ants were feasting on the dried-up egg remains.

It’s pretty hot—but not hot enough to cook an egg on concrete. Even if you think you get the job done, don’t ever eat the results.

Heat Joke Alert Again!

Here’s another heat joke.

Q: How hot is it?

A: It’s so hot, you don’t have to be a liar to set your pants on fire.

All you have to do is step outside. It’s no joke, frankly. Heat index values could be in the 110-115 degree range. The Excessive Heating Warning has been extended to August 23, 2023.

Heat Joke Alert!

OK, I got sort of a Dad joke about the heat. It’s about 106 degrees now with the heat index in Iowa City.

Q: What do you call a flying saucer on a really hot day?

A: An Unidentified Frying Object

Believe it or not, I couldn’t find this joke anywhere on the internet. So I guess that makes it original.

Sena wants to try frying an egg, and melt ice cubes and/or an ice cream bar on our driveway tomorrow.

Leave comments trying to talk her out of it and/or leave a heat joke of your own.

Thank you for your time.

Shout Out to University of Iowa Hospitals Doctor Joseph Zabner!

Here’s a big shout out and congratulations to my former University Hospitals colleague Dr. Joseph Zabner who received the 2023 Distinguished Mentor Award.

Wings in the Garden

We’ve got more videos of birds and a butterfly (which I think is a swallowtail) in our garden. The catbirds and oddly, song sparrows (I thought they were rare in our part of the country?) are turning out to be regular visitors. They like the mulberries and spend a lot of time preening. They visit every day and they’re always a welcome sight.

Acts of Kindness Spotted in Walmart!

If you read the news, you rarely find any stories about acts of kindness. Everybody is slamming everybody else. Sena sees acts of kindness at Walmart. Not long ago, a Walmart grocery shopper went out of his way to be kind to her.

She was in the checkout lane of a cashier who greets everyone with a cheery “Did you find everything you want? Thank you for shopping at Walmart!” People actually try to get into her lane, probably to get a dose of her kindness. They will arm wrestle for the privilege, best 2 out of 3 wins.

I rarely go grocery shopping but actually recognized her from Sena’s description and scooted into her lane. She even placed the sacks of groceries up on top of the circle of bags to make it easier for me to grab them, making it less likely to forget them—which is something I would probably do. She’s easy to find; she’s the only one still wearing both a medical grade mask, face shield, and gloves.

Sena almost always encounters kindness from random shoppers and Walmart workers who see her struggling to reach an item on a high shelf. They’ll say “Let me help you with that.”

Anyway, where was I? Oh, the shopper kindness incident. She was in the kind cashier’s lane behind another couple who also prefer this cashier. She had encountered them elsewhere in the store and the guy joked with her about cottage cheese.

There were no dividers to separate Sena’s groceries on the conveyer belt from his, so she used a package of celery and announced it to the cashier—who forgot that and rung it up along with a couple of other items) for the guy and his wife in front of Sena. Sena caught the mistake and they all joked about it.

After the couple left the store with their groceries and as Sena was checking her items, she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was the guy who had been in front of her. He handed her a package of mushrooms, the one item that the cashier had charged to him by mistake and had not caught. He had probably gone all the way out to the parking lot and somehow noticed the mushrooms.

He gave Sena the mushrooms and told her that he didn’t want her to get all the way home and find out that she didn’t have them for a recipe.

Sena knew he’d been charged for them and because she didn’t carry enough cash to pay him back, advised him he could get the mistake fixed at customer service. By this time, it was too late for everyone’s favorite cashier to correct it.

The guy said the transaction was too complicated and not worth standing in the long line at customer service.

But it was worth his while to get all the way out to the parking lot and walk all the way back in to return a $2 package of mushrooms to Sena.

Sometimes, it seems to me we spend more time on the lookout for UFOs in the sky than for human acts of kindness on earth.

To Trap or Not to Trap Japanese Beetles

Sena has some Japanese Beetle traps she’s been thinking about using for some time now. She paid only a dollar a box because they were on sale. She’s hesitant. It’s Spectracide and uses a sex attractant and a floral lure to catch the little scarab beetles in a bag. In fact, the product is called Bag-A-Bug. The box advertises they are an “ideal method” to control Japanese Beetles and protect your yard. They cost about $8 or more a box, depending on where you buy them.

I checked the internet about controlling Japanese Beetles and I was a little surprised to learn that not everyone is in love with the bag method. Some experts say they might attract more bugs to your yard rather than rid your property of them.

The University of Minnesota Extension web article tops the list of those who caution you not to expect a miracle from the bag method. In fact, they frankly state, “While the University of Minnesota is still performing research to understand this pest, one thing we do know is Japanese beetle traps do not reduce beetle feeding.” They baldly state the traps probably won’t benefit your garden. The issue is the chemical lure itself, which might draw even more bugs to your yard. The more bugs you catch, the more stink they squirt. You can end up with thousands more of them because of the trap itself, causing more damage to your plants than if you didn’t use it at all.

What’s the answer? Toss the little buggers in a bucket of soapy water, believe it or not. And while they make holes in leaves which makes your plants look ugly, they usually don’t kill them. Beetles show up in late June and early July and mess with your yard until mid to late August.

Picking off the bugs and the damaged leaves works as good as anything else and rids the areas of the odor which attracts other insects.

What’s The University of Minnesota Extension’s bottom line on beetle traps? Don’t use them. It’s likely they attract more beetles than they catch.

I also checked the Iowa State University Extension web page on Japanese Beetles. The authors say the bugs are the “worst landscape pest in America” but they also are thumbs down on using traps, saying they attract more bugs than they catch. Here’s a funny quote from an ISU Extension article that I originally used but just found out today is not available:

“The only benefit of JB traps is the emotional satisfaction of seeing and smelling hundreds (thousands?) of dead, decaying beetles.”

The Better Homes & Gardens web page has a similar opinion. So, there you have it. During my web search, I was reminded of a neighborhood we visited several years ago where we saw a lot of back yards with these traps. The bugs were everywhere.

So much for the traps. What the heck, they were only a dollar a box.

Watch Out for Spaghettification on Skinwalker Ranch!

I’m not up to speed on the math of black hole portal wormhole vortices and whatnot, but I think the actors on The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch need to be careful what kind of incendiary devices they’re tossing into the Triangle Area.

I barely got through the general physics introductory course at Iowa State University. I remember the momentum lab experiments—barely. My lab partner showed up late because he was really hung over. I think he asked me if I ever partied and I said I had pretty much outgrown that kind of thing. He looked at me like he was shocked and exclaimed, “You mean this crap ends?”

On the other hand, despite his hangover he grasped the momentum math better than I did.

I’m still trying to figure out why one of the actors said “A black hole?” when somebody posed the question “What does that thing look like?” referring to what looked like a black hole at ground level following a LiDAR imaging test in the Triangle Area. I didn’t know you could find black holes with LiDAR.

There was also the suggestion of funnels in the air above the black hole, leading to the team wondering if it was a portal leading to a wormhole. Everybody got excited about it, and wondered if it might explain all the weird stuff happening on the ranch. Could there be monsters, extraterrestrials, orbs, and Braunschweiger with Miracle Whip sandwiches zipping in and out of these things?

It got me looking around on the internet to find out whether black holes and wormholes could be the same thing. It turns out some scientists think there could be black hole portals on one end and white hole portals on the other end of wormholes, which I think means you get spaghettified on one end and reassembled on the other.

However, this could mean you have to be wary of spaghettification if you try to travel to another dimension through a wormhole. You don’t have to take my word for it (and you shouldn’t!). Just ask physics professors Leo and Shanshan Rodriguez at Grinnell College in Iowa. Black holes swallow up everything that comes within spitting distance from them, stretch them way out so they resemble noodles and eventually destroy you.

The only thing you can do then is call Chuck Norris, who routinely eats black holes with Braunschweiger and Miracle Whip for lunch (they taste like chicken) and farts them into another galaxy far, far away. Chuck’s side hustle is to work part time at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) where he is a part time janitor, sweeping up the little black holes it sometimes generates. That black hole the LHC created in 2012 which swallowed reality didn’t stand a chance against Chuck, who gargled it and spat reality back out.

This goes back to Einstein’s theory of general relativity of course, which proves by advanced, hyper galactic step over toe hold jujitsu level mathematical formulas that the stitches in the fabric of spacetime get all warped leading to a crazy strong gravitational pull involving stirrup pants that stretch you enough to motivate some men to spend any amount of money to increase their penis size including subjecting themselves to black holes such that they would need a carryon bag to haul it through Chicago O’Hare and believe spaghettification is just the trick although airport security has yet to devise how they can get it through the screening machine in order to avoid pat down searches which can not only tickle but also delay passenger boarding and lead to mass hallucinations of a big UFO similar to the O’Hare event in 2006, which was actually caused by a weather event according to men in black suits posing as FAA agents at the airport.

Does anybody else have a sudden craving for pasta?

The Gray Catbird Rusty Rump Mystery

I looked into the mystery of the gray catbird’s rusty rump. I mentioned the rusty colored feathers under its tail feathers in yesterday’s post. For some reason the underside of its tail feathers looks a little messy. I was able to get more video evidence about what might be the cause.

The catbird looks fastidious. That may be misleading. Scientific observation reveals what is really going on.

This is probably also the origin of an old saying. I think it was Plato who said, “Never stand under a bird.”