Our House Rules for Crib Wars

Based on what I found out from Artificial Intelligence (AI) yesterday, I thought I’d share our house rules for Crib Wars. The only reason I’m including information from AI is because I couldn’t find specifics on how to manage pegging for the Blue Penalty Box anywhere else.

If you already know how to play basic cribbage, you can ignore most of what’s on the rules sheet (available on the web) because there’s only a short section for the Crib Wars rules. It describes the colored areas and what the players are supposed to do with them.

There’s no Muggers Alley on the Ebonwood board and we never play muggins. Below are my updated descriptions of the colored zones, which we discuss and demonstrate during the video.

Red Skips: There are 3 of these. The rule says if you land on the first red box you should slide to the next red box which gets you 20 holes further along the board. The red box just means the set of 3 holes highlighted with a red color. You get from the first one to the next one by just moving the peg 20 holes. You’ll land in the 2nd set of holes marked in red. This is a boon in the first Red Skip area. However, if you pay attention to the directional arrows in the path guiding you, it looks like they accelerate you toward two of the Blue Time Traps.

Blue Time Traps: There are 4 of these and there will be three blue lines, meaning the blue color covers all three holes and all three peg tracks (3 holes along the track and 3 holes across the track). If you land in a set of three holes highlighted in blue, you end up moving to a blue area of holes that actually set you behind several holes. You have to play your way out of them. Players note that you can end up in repetitious cycling back to the traps largely because of how often you can get one or two points at a time while scoring. In fact, some say that if their opponent gets close to a Blue Time Trap they may purposely lead with a five card (something you would rarely if ever do in a standard cribbage game). That could trap the opponent into playing a ten card or a 5 card, which might risk them moving only a couple of holes right back into the Blue Time Trap. The same thing could happen with falling into the Blue Penalty Boxes.

Blue Penalty Boxes: There are three of them. You fall into one of these by moving your peg into one of the single blue hole lines, meaning one blue track across the three peg tracks. This is a disaster because you immediately have to move back 20 holes and fold your hand and your crib while your opponent moves forward 20 holes and counts their hand and crib (if they have the crib). Asking AI is the only way I could find out how to learn how to peg moving back and forward 20 holes. The player who lands in the penalty box moves their front peg back 20 holes starting from the penalty box. You don’t move the rear peg. If your front peg lands behind the rear peg, it becomes the new rear peg. The player who doesn’t land in the penalty box moves their front peg forward 20 holes. The player who lands in the penalty box immediately folds their hand and crib.

Green Advances: There are two of them. If you land in a green hole, you take short cut path. The long one saves you from moving toward the Blue Time Trap in the left lower quadrant. You don’t avoid the potential other trap above. If you take the normal track instead you end up moving toward the lower left quadrant Blue Time Trap—but you have a chance at getting into the short Green Advance track before you get there which loops back away from it and you end up going in the direction of the upper Blue Time Trap.

You think you’re in the clear after that? You’re not because there is a sadistically placed Blue Penalty Box in the next to the last hole before the Finish Line!

New Do it Yourself (more or less) Electrotherapy for Depression at Home!

OK, so the title is a little provocative; on the other hand, this is my take on a legitimate treatment for depression that was just approved by the FDA only last week. A company called Flow Neuroscience is marketing the newly approved FL-100 device for treatment of depression and their website definitely has their marketing skills down. And I definitely was reminded of a TV commercial about removing your own appendix.

That’s my smartass joke, but hang on, there’s more to it than jokes. I had to search around a while to find actual FDA web evidence that they actually did approve the FL-100, but I was saved by the reliable and trustworthy Psychiatric Times article about the FL-100 with references that I could verified the FDA’s approval.

So, I’m a retired psychiatrist and I was a clinician educator type doctor, not a neuroscientist, but I can read the FDA approval document section XV. Conclusions Drawn from Preclinical and Clinical Studies (starts on page 12). It boils down to, yeah, this device’s probable benefits outweigh its probable risks.

The Effectiveness Conclusions subsection on effectiveness outcomes at Week 10 contains what sounds like realistic answers: “The medical literature lacks consensus regarding what constitutes a clinically significant or meaningful between-group difference in HDRS-17 scores. As such, the clinical significance or meaningfulness of the between-group difference of -2.3 points on the HDRS-17 scale has not been established. Nevertheless, the 2.3 point between-group difference helps support the view that FL-100 provides probable benefit.”

I’m not familiar with the EQ-5D-3L scale of health-related quality of life but the summary says:

“The EQ-5D-3L measures a person’s health-related quality of life by assessing five dimensions: mobility, self-care, usual activities, pain/discomfort, and anxiety/depression. There was no between-group statistical difference in EQ5D-3L scores at Week 10. The EQ-5D-3L frequently fails to detect mild depressive symptoms, as individuals with subclinical depression often select “no problems” on the anxiety/depression dimension. The insensitivity of EQ-5D-3L is documented in the literature.”

I happen to think that comparison of medical treatments with psychotherapy is a good idea but: “Data were not provided regarding FL-100 used adjunctively with psychotherapy or with psychotherapy and antidepressants.”

The device has no recommendation for use with patients with treatment-resistant depression:

“Patients who previously had an inadequate clinical response to two or more antidepressants at an adequate dose and duration were excluded from the study, limiting the evidence for use of the FL-100 in a more treatment resistant population.”

The potential risks are first degree skin burns if you’re not careful with the electrodes, headaches, and scalp pain. The benefit is modest but outweighs the risk.

You can use the device at home under the supervision of a clinician—they don’t do house calls so you’d presumably do this by zoom call. You can also get advice through an app on your device, which may or may not be a monotonal AI. You pay $500-800 and there won’t be any answers to questions about insurance coverage until at least next spring. But it’s being used by tens of thousands of people in Europe and beyond.

So go ahead, take your own appendix out (just kidding; put that jack knife away!). Did you know that at least one guy actually did that? A Russian surgeon, Dr. Leonid Rogozov managed it in 1961 while he was stranded in Antarctica.

It’s just my opinion, but the headset could be more stylish.

The Big Crib War Hybrid with 10 Card Cribbage!

Well, we did manage to get through a hybrid of 10-card Cribbage and Crib Wars although I had a kerfuffle with pegging which led to extra points I shouldn’t have got. I probably made other mistakes (just let me know).

However, it probably didn’t make that much difference. As luck would have it (as it tends to do in cribbage and in life) I won mainly because Sena ended up going through the final Blue Time Trap twice!

 Here’s a recap of the rules for 10-card Cribbage: This one is fun. Deal 10 cards each and two to the dealer’s crib. Divide your remaining 8 cards into 4 separate hands. Use one for pegging and both for the show (means scoring your hands). Play to 121 (unless you’re playing Crib Wars and then you’re in for a marathon). You get big scores but they’re manageable.

We completed the game in an hour, very similar to our time in regular 6 card cribbage on the big Ebonwood Crib Wars board. I started to get a little punchy mid to late phase in the game because of the several hands you get in 10-card cribbage. It’s a lot to count.

High scores over the long haul probably don’t affect what fairways and sand traps you fall into.

If you already know how to play basic cribbage, you can ignore most of what’s on the rules sheet (available on the web) because there’s only a short section for the Crib Wars rules. It describes the colored areas and what the players are supposed to do with them.

There’s no Muggers Alley on the Ebonwood board and we never play muggins. Below are my updated descriptions of the colored zones, which we discuss and demonstrate during the video.

Red Skips: There are 3 of these. The rule says if you land on the first red box you should slide to the next red box which gets you 20 holes further along the board. The red box just means the set of 3 holes highlighted with a red color. You get from the first one to the next one by just moving the peg 20 holes. You’ll land in the 2nd set of holes marked in red. This is a boon in the first Red Skip area. However, if you pay attention to the directional arrows in the path guiding you, it looks like they accelerate you toward two of the Blue Time Traps.

Blue Time Traps: There are 4 of these and there will be three blue lines, meaning the blue color covers all three holes and all three peg tracks (3 holes along the track and 3 holes across the track). If you land in a set of three holes highlighted in blue, you end up moving to a blue area of holes that actually set you behind several holes. You have to play your way out of them. Players note that you can end up in repetitious cycling back to the traps largely because of how often you can get one or two points at a time while scoring. In fact, some say that if their opponent gets close to a Blue Time Trap they may purposely lead with a five card (something you would rarely if ever do in a standard cribbage game). That could trap the opponent into playing a ten card or a 5 card, which might risk them moving only a couple of holes right back into the Blue Time Trap. The same thing could happen with falling into the Blue Penalty Boxes.

Blue Penalty Boxes: There are three of them. You fall into one of these by moving your peg into one of the single blue hole lines, meaning one blue track across the three peg tracks. This is a disaster because you immediately have to move back 20 holes and fold your hand and your crib while your opponent moves forward 20 holes and counts their hand and crib (if they have the crib). Asking AI is the only way I could find out how to learn how to peg moving back and forward 20 holes. The player who lands in the penalty box moves their front peg back 20 holes starting from the penalty box. You don’t move the rear peg. If your front peg lands behind the rear peg, it becomes the new rear peg. The player who doesn’t land in the penalty box moves their front peg forward 20 holes. The player who lands in the penalty box immediately folds their hand and crib.

Green Advances: There are two of them. If you land in a green hole, you take short cut path. The long one saves you from moving toward the Blue Time Trap in the left lower quadrant. You don’t avoid the potential other trap above. If you take the normal track instead you end up moving toward the lower left quadrant Blue Time Trap—but you have a chance at getting into the short Green Advance track before you get there which loops back away from it and you end up going in the direction of the upper Blue Time Trap.

You think you’re in the clear after that? You’re not because there is a sadistically placed Blue Penalty Box in the next to the last hole before the Finish Line!

Svengoolie Movie: “Duel” Roaring Road Rage!

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

Well, we watched the 1971 film “Duel” on the Svengoolie show last night. This was Sena’s second time seeing it and it was my first time watching this truly gripping movie, which was either Steven Spielberg’s first or second feature-length directing effort, depending on whether you believe Wikipedia or Artificial Intelligence (AI).

It started off as a TV movie and was later made into a movie for theaters, although it was inspired by a short story of the same name by Richard Matheson about a man vs machine cat and mouse game, published in a 1971 issue of Playboy. You can find copies of Matheson’s full story on the web, which is puzzling given copyright laws, but I guess some people are getting away with it.

Anyway, Dennis Weaver starred David Mann as a traveling salesman or maybe it was the rust bucket satanic semi-tanker truck which hunts Mann (a name that makes me think of “man” in the general sense of humankind) down on dusty two-lane highways through the California desert in an apparent act of the worst road rage you ever saw, triggered by Mann simply passing it.

At first, I wondered if there was any person actually driving the truck; maybe it was just a driverless demon truck. But on occasion you see a guy’s arm waving to allow Mann to pass him although one time this was into the path of an oncoming car coming from the opposite direction.

Early in the movie, I thought Mann’s radio in his car, which is a Plymouth Valiant (does the car model’s name Valiant signify something?) there is a goofy-sounding radio question and answer show with some guy complaining about a census question asking who is the head of household. The guy sounds really insecure and he obsesses about not being the head of household because he’s not the breadwinner because his wife is, and I think this set the stage for one of the ideas behind the movie, which is male anxiety about not being the “man of the family” and, by extension, this might point to nagging doubts in general about masculinity and the place of men in society.

This is typically where the TV commercials appear with Frank Thomas and Doug Flutie pushing Nugenix Total-T man-boosting snake oil elixir, guaranteed to grow your package 10 times “normal” size, which should make you ask what was going on with those Popeye cartoons in which he swells up after wolfing down a can of spinach and kicks Bluto’s ass followed by Olive Oyl swooning over him.

This radio program almost counts as a character in the film because almost everything that happens afterward is about who is more of a man—Mann or machine. Is that why some of us are anxious about AI?

By the way, were it not for Svengoolie pointing it out, I would never have noticed that what looks like a highway patrol car, which Mann swerves toward but avoids at the last second is actually a pest control vehicle with the name of the company “Grebleips Pest Control”—which is Spielberg spelled backwards.

One of my favorite scenes is the roadside café where Mann gets paranoid about all the guys in there wearing boots similar to those he saw when the guy driving the truck gets out and walks around. The boots are the only parts visible. There are several boot-wearing guys in the café who act like typical non-Nugenix Triple Total Titanic-T needing men who talk with their mouths full, drink beer, scratch their scrotums, and snicker at Mann—who just wants aspirin. He neurotically wonders which one he should confront and when he does—it’s the wrong guy.

I don’t want to overfocus on it but when the radiator hose fails and steam billows all over, engine temperature rising leading to Mann’s car slowing down, overheating and actually shutting down while the raging truck chases him, Mann is able to restart his car. Is that even mechanically possible? I think he stopped, shifted to neutral and coasted for a while, but he never stopped to make temporary repairs. By the way, is it true you can crack an egg over a busted radiator hose as a stopgap fix?

Would taking a dose of Nugenix Whopping Hairy Total-T help at all? Would a satanic truck politely quit chasing you long enough to allow you to do that? Did Mann buy any groceries at the roadside rattlesnake place including eggs?

Is Nugenix Whopping Whackadoodle Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris Plays Jenga with Stonehenge Totally Triple T enough to reverse what is happening to American males so that we can see the sequel to Duel—which would be Double Dammit Duel?

Don’t answer that. In any case, I think this is a pretty cool movie and I give it a Shrilling Chicken Rating of 5/5.

Gearing up for 10-Card Cribbage Mashup with Big Board Crib Wars

We spent over 2 hours playing the hybrid 10-card cribbage and Crib Wars on our new Crib Wars board. Sena won!  I’m still a little punchy from the effort. Based on the results, we don’t think the higher scores we get will propel us through the game any faster.

Part of the reason is we spend any time we save from high scores shuffling cards, dealing them, and getting used to where the extra hands go but forgetting to count them, and needing to replenish our energy with hot chocolate.

This is a card from Wicked Cribbage

I got caught in two of the Blue Time Traps for a total of 6 trips. She got caught in a Penalty Box and two Blue Time Traps but managed to hit the Green Advance zone and I coughed in the dust she kicked up as she sped away to the finish line.

This is not over.

Tango Boxing a New Hybrid Sport?

Here’s how I got off on a tangent about Tango Boxing, which honestly did sound like a hybrid sport combining dancing the Tango and boxing, you know, like chess boxing, in a ring with gloves and sustaining head injuries and dancing the Tango. I was amazed when I at first misread something in an article in Medical News Today about how to live to be 100 after age 80.

In the article some fitness person actually said: “From tango to boxing and everything in between….” I read it too quickly and thought she said “From tango boxing and everything in between.” You’re not going to give me a hard time about misreading that are you? It could happen to anybody, no matter how old you are.

Anyway, it set me down the rabbit hole and I even managed to confuse the AI assistant Gemini (give me a break, I never ask for this joker to help me; it just pokes its nose into all my internet searches) yet here’s what it said on one of my searches for Tango Boxing (my question was “is tango boxing about a combination of boxing and dancing the tango?”):

“Yes, “tango boxing” is a form of fitness class or exercise that combines elements from both tango dancing and boxing techniques

It is not a traditional martial art or a specific, established combat sport. Instead, it is a workout designed to provide a low-impact, full-body fitness experience, leveraging the unique aspects of each discipline for exercise and well-being. 

Key Aspects of Tango Boxing

  • Combination Workout: It blends the core elements of boxing (punches, jabs, crosses, hooks) with basic tango dance movements (box steps, pivots, coordination drills).
  • Focus on Fitness: The primary goals are to improve physical fitness, including cardiovascular endurance, strength, flexibility, balance, and coordination.
  • Rhythm and Timing: Both boxing and tango require a strong sense of rhythm and timing, and the workout emphasizes developing these skills for effective movement and body control.
  • Mind-Body Connection: The class format is designed to engage both the body and mind, as learning the routines and movements requires focus and quick thinking.
  • Improvisation and Expression: Much like traditional tango and individual boxing styles, the fitness class allows for personal expression and improvisation within a structured format. 

This type of class, sometimes marketed as “Tango Fitness,” is a creative way to stay active and healthy, offering a unique alternative to standard gym routines.”

That’s the danger of AI and it could not be clearer why it’s answers should not be appearing at the top of any web search result. And you can’t turn it off.

Here all I was doing was chasing down my mistake and you see how easily AI gets misled. Some would call this an example of an AI “hallucination” although I prefer to think of it as confabulation.

I found out later that the Tango involves doing something called a “box step.” Those of you who know the Tango know what I’m talking about, even if I and AI don’t. Actually, let me correct that; AI could describe the Tango box step, which involves a dance pattern that forms a square on the floor.

So far am I OK? There’s no such hybrid sport as Tango Boxing? On the other hand, who can forget Muhammad Ali dancing around his opponents in the ring? He actually did sort of dance.

When all is said and done, the main point is how to live to be 100 years old and still be cool, strong, graceful, and joyful.

New Ebonwood Cribbage Wars Board Baptism!

Well, we got the new Ebonwood Cribbage Wars board last night. It was delivered shortly after 8:00 p.m. We took it for a test spin this morning and our inaugural game went for well over 2 hours. By some miracle and partly because of the sadistically placed final Blue Penalty Box just outside the winning hole—I won! Sena had a comfortable lead most of the game until then. We both tripped over a couple of Blue Time Traps. Sena lucked up on the little Green Advance zone and I lucked up on landing in the first Red Skip zone.

We both were a little confused by the board because it lacked some key directional arrows in the lower left quadrant which we got used to on the little board. In fact, it’s a good thing we learned how to play by practicing on the little board. The Ebonwood board is 16 inches square and, while it was easier to peg because the holes were better spaced and bigger, the single blue streak across the exit from the Blue Time Traps also was misleading because it looks so much like the single line Blue Penalty Box.

Photos of the little board and the Ebonwood board side by side shows the differences between the two. The little one seems crowded with lettering which can be hard to read and the peg holes are tiny but the directional arrows are helpful. There’s a lot more real estate on the Ebonwood board, but it could have done with a couple more directional arrows to clarify the pegging paths. The special zones are made of different colored resin inlays.

And of course, there seems to be no way to shorten the time it takes to play a Cribbage Wars game. On the other hand, we tend to get absorbed by it and often hardly notice that we spend more than 2 hours playing a game. We did get through a game in a little over an hour a couple days ago, but that’s the exception to the rule.

An interesting side note was the answer to Sena’s question by one of the makers about the origin of the name Ebonwood:.

Sorry for the late reply on this. We used to be a strictly table top gaming accessories company (back when myself and the other cofounder started in my garage). Then we realized that if we wanted to sell cribbage boards, and other non ttrpg items our name “Deathroll Gaming” might not give the best impression. So we sat down and brainstormed up Ebonwood. Something a lot more elegant than a strictly TTRPG sounding name; but it also allowed us to keep with the TTRPG stuff as that name fit both worlds.

I think TTRPG stands for Table Top Role-Playing Game. The board ships with a deck of cards and pegs. It doesn’t come with a printed set of rules but they’re all over the internet anyway. It’ll set you back $210.

The length of the game is the main reason why we haven’t yet filmed one. Luck plays such a big part in every game that it’s almost impossible to predict how long one will last. We’ll film one eventually, but hopefully I can edit so that it doesn’t put people to sleep. Time traps are the main issue. During a game, I usually start remembering the chorus of one of the songs in the Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let’s Do the Time Warp Again.”

Let’s do the time trap again.

Upcoming Svengoolie Movie: “Duel”

So, the upcoming Svengoolie film is “Duel” which I’ve never seen before but Sena has—and she says it’s pretty good! She even plans to watch it. It was released in 1971 and stars Dennis Weaver. Steven Spielberg directed it. According to Svengoolie, it did so well on TV it was also released in theaters.

It’s about this Fuller Brush man who just happens to have the name David Mann (Fuller Brush “Mann,” get it?) who’s driving across the country trying to find anyone who’ll buy brushes and things like car wax which he tries to sell to a long haul trucker who doesn’t think much of the quality of the wax which turns out to be nothing but beeswax which is often used as a finish on cribbage boards like the Cribbage Wars board we’re supposed to get sometime this evening from Ebonwood, which is a store in Appleton, Wisconsin. Anyway, the long-haul trucker gets really mad about this overpriced beeswax and transforms into a massive Bigfoot with a chauffeur’s license and a huge truck full of frozen fruitcake which he’s hauling to the only state, Massachusetts, in the U.S.  which allows fruitcake to be used as construction material because, let’s face it, nobody in their right mind is going to eat that stuff and people are known to mail each other moldy fruitcake every Christmas for years on end as a beloved but truly warped tradition that has led to laws in some jurisdictions which penalize this practice heavily, even imposing life sentences to hard labor consisting of trying to cut this fruitcake, which is, not to pun-alize you, a “fruitless” exercise because it’s hard as rock. Well, this raging Bigfoot truck driver rams all 16 gears of his massive truck into overdrive, which makes the truck completely shut down, making it necessary for him to put on his neon green jogging suit and chase David Mann all the way to a run-down Dairy Queen that…OK, so the movie probably doesn’t go exactly like that, but you should watch it anyway.

Svengoolie Movie: “The Mummy’s Tomb”

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

I watched the Svengoolie movie “The Mummy’s Tomb the other night. This is the first time I’ve ever seen a mummy movie (unless you count the one in which Brendan Fraser appeared in 1999 and I didn’t pay much attention) and most of the hour-long film shared my TV screen with the local weather report, which happens sometimes. This time it was about the snowfall, which dumped 5 inches on Iowa City. We spent about a couple of hours clearing it the following day with the help of Sena’s favorite tool, the cordless electric snow shovel and me with the brand new 48’ snow pusher plow.

Anyway, “The Mummy’s Tomb” is a relatively short movie made in 1942 and starred Lon Chaney as Kharis the mummy. He had no lines because he had to keep mum, evidently. There was plenty of stock footage from “The Mummy’s Hand,” released in 1940. Just so you know, I’m aware of the 1932 film “The Mummy” with Boris Karloff as the mummy, but I’m not planning to watch it unless, of course, it appears on the Svengoolie show.

There’s this character named Babe in “The Mummy’s Tomb” who evidently was also in “The Mummy’s Hand” and the two had different last names and the 1942 version of Babe was more serious.

This movie is a sequel to “The Mummy’s Hand” and they killed off Kharis in that one but resurrected him in “The Mummy’s Tomb” although didn’t give the monster new bandages. Kharis limps around and never uses his right arm early in the show yet is nimble enough to carry Isobel Evans (Elyse Knox) in his right arm while climbing a flower trellis. This is the first clue that Kharis had a personal trainer and despite being thousands of years old, he perked right up after only one bottle of Nugenix Total-T thanks to Frank Thomas and Doug Flutie.

Hey, remember Flutie’s historic last second 64-yard Hail Mary pass to Gerard Phelan in the end zone in the 1984 Boston College vs Miami game? It’s not mummified ancient history, but it’s more fun to watch than this movie!

Where was I? Oh yeah, it was difficult to tell if Isobel fully appreciated this because she fainted as soon as she saw Kharis and remained pretty much unconscious the whole time Kharis was carrying her around (so much for Frank’s “she’ll like it too” promise).

The funny thing is Mehemet Bey (Turhan Bey) doesn’t get this because he develops a huge crush on Isobel and orders Kharis to fetch her for him. This happens more than halfway through the film but until then, Mehemet’s main goal was to get revenge on the guys who were responsible for “killing” Kharis the first time around. Mehemet has the power to control Kharis, yet pulls a gun on John Banning (John Hubbard) who is the son of Prof. Stepen Banning who started the whole business of desecrating the tomb of Kharis and can by god whip John any day of the week in a game of checkers.

This turns out to be a wrong move because the sheriff just shoots Mehemet, and that’s the end of the boss of Kharis.

The smartest person in the movie is Professor Norman (Frank Reicher) who figures out what the substance is on the throats of Kharis’s victims (myrrh, cedar oil, Nugenix-Total T) proving that these items were used in the embalming process of mummies, thus proving that even scientists can be guilty of fraud.

So, there you have it. Towards the end of the movie, Kharis learns how to play checkers and whips the pants off John Banning. So there, only one spoiler in this review of a movie which I would give a 2/5 shrilling chicken rating.

Men in Black 5 a Thing Now?

I just saw something on the web which look like Men in Black 5 could be for real. Supposedly, maybe, I dunno—but I hope so.

It may be more than a rumor, but there are doubts about whether Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones will reprise their roles as Agents K & J respectively. Sony Pictures may or may not be confirming this depending on what article you read. Maybe somebody is drafting a script but I’m not sure.

I can’t confirm whether Frank the talking pug will be in it, but I doubt it because I think he passed away. Agent K will get around pretty well in a plutonium powered mobility scooter and Agent J will take Serutan (remember, that’s Natures spelled backward!) just before pressing the little red button.

Serleena will not stick her 3-foot-long green tongue into Agent K’s ear. I can never stand to watch that part.

Yours truly might be involved—but I really can’t say at this time because I’m still negotiating my contract.

Thank you for your time.