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Svengoolie Show: “The Curse of Frankenstein” No Laughing Matter

The Svengoolie show last night was the 1957 Hammer production “The Curse of Frankenstein” starring the 3 stooges. Actually, this film was no laughing matter and this was my first time (and last time) seeing it.

That’s not saying it’s a “bad” movie. It’s just tough to come up with anything comical to say about a gothic horror flick that was inspired by Mary Shelley’s novel, “Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus.”

I’ve not read Mary Shelley’s novel and I only skimmed the Encyclopedia Britannica entry. That’s good enough for an old guy pretending to be a movie reviewer.

What hooked me, though, early on the film was a short dialogue between Paul Krempe (Robert Urquhart) and Elizabeth Lavensa (Hazel Court). Paul describes Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing) in contemptible and scary terms, to which Elizabeth reacts by saying that Victor is either “wicked or insane.” Paul answers that Victor is neither—which struck me as odd.

I would have no trouble saying Victor is evil, but what do I know? On the other hand, I ran across a couple of web articles that mentioned “psychopath” as a suitable label for someone who thinks nothing of pushing an old man like the scientific scholar Professor Bernstein (Paul Hardtmuth) over a banister to kill him in order to dig his brain out of his skull to insert into a do-it-yourself hodgepodge of spare body parts in an experiment to create a living being.

Victor, from the time he first meets Paul, presents as an insufferable, entitled brat lacking a conscience and by the time he reaches adulthood he’s the perfect example of someone with the most creepily severe case of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) imaginable.

He gets the housekeeper Justine (Valerie Gaunt) pregnant, tricks her into entering the laboratory where the monster (Christopher Lee) kills her, marries Elizabeth and then abandons her on their wedding night in order to cheat in a cribbage game with the monster.

He pretends to bury the monster in the woods after Paul kills it by shooting it in the eye with an AK-47—then sneaks back to dig it up, carry it back to the lab and reanimates the wreck. He proudly shows it off to Paul, who throws up on him. This makes no difference to Victor who is always smeared with dirt anyway because he hangs out in morgues, graveyards, and golf courses (“as he approaches this critical putt, somebody leaps out and cuts off his feet”), filching eyes, hands, Adams apples and what have you to assemble and repair the monster.

There are big differences between Shelley’s monster and Hammer’s creature—the latter doesn’t speak at all while the former is eloquent. Hammer’s creature can barely stand up or sit down on command while Shelley’s monster can do triple axels skating across the Arctic ice as Victor pursues him.

During the movie, my mind often wandered off to memories of Mel Brooks’ “Young Frankenstein.”

A Bolt from the Blues!

The title of this post is inspired by a short comment I got today from an Iowa City musician named Ed English. It’s on my blog post from April 14, 2024 entitled “KCCK Big Mo News and More.” I blog a fair amount about the Big Mo (John Heim) Blues Show and the Big Mo Pod Show.

Ed says “Always available on the web and the KCCK App, too… ;0)”

I’m not up to speed on emoticons, but I wonder if it means amazement, although about exactly what I’m not sure. I really appreciate hearing from him.

Anyway, it turns out that Ed English is a long time Iowa City blues music scene guy and he’s part of The Beaker Brothers Band.

Ed (informally known as Uncle Ed) also started the Tanya English Band. Ed and Tanya are married.

I listen to the Big Mo Blues Show every Friday night. When he does the part of his show called The Shout Outs, he mentions Dr. Tanya, healing with the blues. I suspect a lot of the Shout Outs are to local blues musicians, many of them known by nicknames—I think.

I’m honored to get a nod and a wink from Uncle Ed. Now, can we talk about my MayRee’s Hand Battered Catfish tee shirt design?

Relearning How to Drain a Water Heater

After more than a decade of not experiencing the pleasure of gravity draining a water heater, we drained our water heater today. It’s only a year old because the house is new. We did it just because most plumbers recommend you drain your water heater annually and sometimes twice a year.

I had to search the web for instructions, some of which conflicted with each other. One source that was almost comical was on a web site made possible by PlumbingSupplydotcom. There’s no date on it, but it’s for anybody who wants to ask a plumber questions about anything to do with plumbing.

I found a YouTube that made the job fairly simple even for guys like me.

The last time we drained a water heater (in a different house a long time ago), I opened the Temperature and Pressure Relief (TPR) valve as part of the process. The guys who filmed the YouTube didn’t touch it or even mention the TPR valve.

It turns out that opening the TPR valve whenever you drain the water heater might be a matter of opinion. Another way to expedite the emptying process is to just open all the faucets (hot side) in the house. I guess you could do both according to one guy.

One thing I can tell you, opening just one or two faucets might not be enough to get the draining process going fast enough. As one of the plumbers on Plumbing Supply put it, it might be best to open them all. Water drained pretty slowly until I did that.

Although Artificial Intelligence (AI) will tell you it takes about 15-20 minutes, it can take more time for many reasons, so beware of AI guidance because it lies.

I followed the steps outlined in the YouTube video I mentioned above, “2 Easy Ways to flush/drain Water Heaters” posted by The Honest Carpenter. It was only 3 years old and had 2.3 million views and 867 comments when I found it today.

The only tools needed are a flat head screw to open and close the drain valve and a garden hose with a coupling to screw on to the drain valve opening. Watching it drain doesn’t help; it’s too much like watching paint dry.

It’s really not that complicated, at least not as complicated as the back and forth on the Plumbing Supply web site made it sound. There was a suspicion by plumbers that the guy asking how to drain his water heater was making stuff up. One suggested shooting the water heater with a 30:06.

If you’re going to do that, consider first releasing the TPR valve. Just kidding; guns won’t solve this or any other problem!

Addendum: We used a long garden hose, but Sena got a shorter one-for next time!

Svengoolie Show Upcoming Movie: “The Curse of Frankenstein”!

Svengoolie Show Intro: “Calling all stations, clear the air lanes, clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

The Svengoolie show movie coming up this Saturday is Hammer’s 1957 production of “The Curse of Frankenstein”! Guess what? This time, Christopher Lee plays Frankenstein’s monster and—he has no lines at all. The movie is loosely based on Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s classic novel, “Frankenstein; or The Modern Prometheus.”

There’s lots of blood and gore, so wear goggles because the film was shot in SpatterVision. Don’t look for screws on the monster’s neck. I guess they were loose and fell off.

Iowa State Fair Cribbage Tournament and More!

I just have a few remarks about the Iowa State Fair Cribbage Tournament which took place today. I don’t have the results and it could be a week before anything is announced about the winner. Here are the rules:

Note the $1 entry fee and you have to bring your own cribbage board, cards, and pen. In the past there have been as many as 200 entrants (that was in 2015). We’ve never entered.

I also wanted to let you know that Sena has started a new cribbage tradition. Whenever she wants to play cribbage, she just puts the deck of cards in our automatic shuffler and makes a racket.

Svengoolie Show: “Horror of Dracula” Has a Funny Side!

Well, last night I watched Hammer Films 1958 production of “Horror of Dracula” and because we had some bumpy thunderstorm weather again in eastern Iowa, the movie had to share TV screen space with the weather report. No matter, it didn’t diminish the total creepy and comedic effect of the film. You heard right; I thought parts of it were comical. I know, Christopher Lee had only 7 minutes of screen time and none of it was humorous.

Now I’m sure you believe I hallucinated the comedy bits, but I can provide links to them to prove it. I never ask Artificial Intelligence (AI) anything, but it pipes up without prompting because I can’t get rid of it. AI denied there was any humor in it at first, but when I put the question indirectly by asking about one of the actors, AI had a different answer.

When I searched using the term “George Benson played what part in Horror of Dracula?” AI said: “In the 1958 film Horror of Dracula, George Benson played the role of a Frontier Official. He appears in scenes that border on slapstick comedy where his authority is undermined.”

I think this is interesting because I didn’t find any other web sites that remarked on humorous elements in the film.

The actor, George Benson, plays a coughing Frontier Official who Dr. Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) and Arthur Holmwood (Michael Gough) are questioning in an attempt to track the whereabouts of Dracula by pressuring the official to reveal where Dracula’s coffin was sent. The official coughs his way through various excuses and expressions of the need to obey the laws and so on. Holmwood makes a good show of dramatically waving money under the official’s nose, eventually succeeding by bribery to get the official’s cooperation.

There’s also some near-slapstick after Dracula crashes through the border barrier in his coach while fleeing from Holmwood and Van Helsing. The coughing Frontier Official has to fix the border crossing barrier with rope and a hammer. Right after that he’s frustrated again when Van Helsing and Holmwood crash through the barrier again.

These occur at 59:17 min and 1:16:13 min, respectively on the Internet Archive film I used for reference.

And there’s also an odd comedy bit with the undertaker at 1:03:34 min. J. Marx the undertaker and mortician (Miles Malleson) actually tells a humorous anecdote and slaps Van Helsing on the chest as he laughs at his own lame joke in the context of trying to find Dracula’s coffin. He can’t find it because it’s missing.

I think the humor helps offset the grim and creepy aspects of the film. Dracula (Christopher Lee) doesn’t have any lines after about the first half hour of the movie. He bares his fangs, drools blood, and ogles women while the women ogle back. There are references to addiction and seduction in the vampire’s motivations and the victims’ collusion with him. But eternal life has its drawbacks—skulking in the dark, fear of the light, and being unable to articulate dramatic lines because oversize canine teeth get in the way, just to name a few.

I think the movie might be too intense for sensitive viewers. Otherwise, I thought it was pretty good.

Big Mo Pod Show: “Spiritual IV”

I’m trying to figure out what the meaning of the title is of this week’s Big Mo Pod Show. It’s “Spiritual IV” and I looked at all of his past pod shows looking for Spiritual I-III. I can’t find them.

The other thing I noticed about the pod show is that the theme of many of last night’s songs is less about spirituality and more about carnality and brutality. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m preaching. I just wonder if the title “Spiritual IV” is ironic.

Take the song “Talk to Me Baby” by Elmore James, or “44 Blues” by Little Arthur Duncan. One song that didn’t make the pod show list was “The Circus is Still in Town (The Monkey Song)” by Rick Estrin and the Nightcats. And Buddy Guy sang his new song “Been There Done That,” meaning he’s been to hell and back. He’s 89 years old and still does gritty blues. The music often seems only about sex, violence and drug addiction.

And the discussion gravitated to guns, specifically the .44 caliber handgun. I never knew Muddy Waters carried a gun. Hey, even Big Mo owns a .44. I didn’t make that up; he said so. It weighs about 7 pounds, by the way.

This morning’s pod show is a reminder that a lot of blues music sounds more earthy than spiritual. However, you can usually find at least one spiritual note letting in a little ray of hope. One of the songs featured in the pod show is Sugaray Rayford’s “How the Other Half Lives.” One line seems to offset the misery and injustice in the rest of the lyrics: “Take it slow, find the flow.”

I’m going to put my nickel down on one of last night’s songs that didn’t make to to the pod show list and it’s “Don’t Wanna Go Home” by Eric Gales, featuring Joe Bonamassa. It’s not spiritual. It’s about having a good time—but notice, he paid all of his bills first.

Svengoolie Upcoming Movie: “Horror of Dracula”

Svengoolie Show Intro: “Calling all stations, clear the air lanes, clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

This week’s upcoming movie on the Svengoolie TV Show is the 1958 classic “Horror of Dracula.” I don’t remember ever seeing it. Speaking of classic, I admit I read some of the Turner Classic Movies (TCM) comments about the movie which features Christopher Lee as Dracula.

I’m not sure if it’s a typo or not, but one other website besides TCM say that Lee’s total time on screen for this 82-minute-long movie was only 7 minutes. The quote is:

“Ironically enough, Lee is only on the screen a total of seven minutes in Horror of Dracula yet his frightening presence is felt through the film.”

Can that be true? It got me wondering how many minutes of commercials are in a full-length film. I’m not talking about Svengoolie’s comedy bits. I get a big kick out of those! It’s the typical advertisement time I was curious about.

So, I looked this up and the counts vary, but I picked a website called TVWeek to get figures. The article is from 2014 so my guess is that the ad time estimates are even longer now, but in a typical average cable TV hour there was a little over 15 minutes of commercials. There were 237 comments, which I ignored because I figured they were the usual gripes.

And Christopher Lee got a total of 7 minutes screen time? Isn’t that almost the same time the Liberty Mutual star LiMu the Emu gets (“You’re just a flightless bird!”)?

Svengoolie Movie: “Werewolf of London” Comedy Show

I watched the Svengoolie TV show last night and saw the 1935 Universal Pictures movie “Werewolf of London.” You can watch the movie on the Internet Archive.

This film reminded me of another British movie, “Return of the Vampire” in which there was a comedy sketch between two grave diggers. In Werewolf of London there’s this hilarious scene in which the unfortunate Dr. Wilfred Glendon (Harold Hull) meets with a couple of old women named Mrs. Whack (Ethel Griffies) and Mrs. Moncaster (Zeffie Tilbury).

They were a couple of alcoholic landladies with rooms to let who competed with each other to rent a room to Dr. Glendon, who is trying to prevent his murderous tendencies when he transforms into a werewolf by moving out of his house. The scene is priceless, arguably the highlight of the movie, and begins at about 46.41 minutes into the film. Mrs. Whack and Mrs. Moncaster, even though they seem smitten with Dr. Glendon yet hesitate to offer him a drink, probably because they want most of the booze all to themselves.

Dr. Wilfred Glendon (Henry Hull) who is afflicted with “werewolfery” according to the other werewolf, Dr. Yogami. Warner Oland played Yogami, although he was actually Swedish and had played Charlie Chan in other films. They met briefly under violent circumstances while Glendon was in Tibet looking for the Mariphasa flower—although Glendon doesn’t recall that until later.

The thing about the Mariphasa is that drops from the flower are an antidote for lycanthropy. Or is it lycanthrophobia? Dr. Yogami mentions the latter twice and it shows up twice in print as well during the film. Lycanthrophobia is by definition the fear of turning into a werewolf. Lycanthropy is the process of turning into one—minus the fear factor, presumably. Whatever.

Dr. Glendon prowls around and slaughters a few victims when the moon is full but tries to avoid killing his wife, Lisa (Valerie Hobson) by renting a room above a tavern apparently, and crashes though the window of his room, possibly because of claustrophobia. This of course makes him a victim of multiple phobias and there is no one playing the role of psychiatrist; figure that one out.

Eventually, there’s a showdown between two cops and Glendon which takes the form of a 3-way thumb wrestling match between them, mainly because Glendon has an obvious case of dental caries in his fangs which causes some pain, especially when the vodka-swilling comedy duo of Whack and Moncaster try to get him plastered by pouring liquor down his gullet through a funnel.

You’ll want to watch this when you’re in a good mood and disinclined to watch anything that is consistently horrifying. There is no laugh track.

Rethinking the Poem “Thinking”

I found this poem on the web entitled “Think.” The author was listed as “Anonymous.” It’s male centric and I’ve been trying to think of a way to modernize it so it’s more applicable to anyone, male or female. Now, according to Wikipedia, the original was actually written by Walter D. Wintle in the late 19^th or early 20^th century:

Thinking

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you’d like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost;
For out in this world we find
Success begins with fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can!

–Walter D. Wintle

It’s a waste of time writing a variant of it, but it was fun trying:

Thinking (variation):

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you’d like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost;
For out in this world we find
Success begins with anyone’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster hand;
But sooner or later the one who wins
Is the one who thinks “I can!”

–Walter D. Wintle with my edits in bold-face type.

The poem is still under copyright so this is just me fooling around. I imagine Wintle is turning in his grave.