Tag: USPS

The United States Postal Service is in Code 101 Lockdown!

No matter what I do, the USPS Change of Address (COA) snafu team makes the situation worse. It reminds me of this scene in Men in Black 2 in which the MIB headquarters goes into something called Code 101 Lockdown. Agents J & K return to headquarters and Agent J fires a sort of space cannon into the front door.

This leads to just about everything outside (including a hot dog stand) getting sucked into the building. The verbal exchange between agents goes something like this:

Agent K: “Code 101 Lockdown!”

Agent J: “I know, I know! The building gets pressurized. Nothin’ in, nothin’ out. I knew that.”

OK, so the movie gets it wrong. The scientists would say that if a closed system is “pressurized” that means from the inside. Technically what actually happens is a negative pressurization or partial vacuum, because everything gets sucked inside the building.

The situation at the USPS is in Code 101 lockdown because it has sucked in both my online and paper requests for Change of Address (COA) and also has not refunded me the $1.10 they charged my credit card before the system failed to give me a confirmation code for the COA. By the way, that’s backward. The right way for the USPS to do that would be confirm that my input is correct—and only then charge me.

No matter what I try to enter into the dysfunctional USPS system in order to right the wrong, it just gets vacuumed into the system and no definitive solution gets out.

I don’t remember how the lockdown in MIB 2 got solved. And I don’t know how to resolve the USPS lockdown. Maybe get the worm guys to shut down their power?

UPDATE: As of July 2, 3024, the USPS snag may be on its way to being resolved.

I Think the United States Postal Service Owes Me $1.10

The other day I tried to process an online request for a USPS Change of Address (COA), but it didn’t work. It hung up at the “Loading” stage for a half hour and then kicked back to the start of the form without ever giving me a confirmation. Yet, it charged my credit card for $1.10, which I couldn’t get refunded at my local post office, where I submitted the paper COA the old-fashioned way. The clerk said she couldn’t do it and referred me to the dysfunctional USPS web site. This was just the beginning of the buck-passing.

I know that others have experienced this same difficulty because I did a web search on the topic. It’s been going on for at least a year.

I tried contacting the Office of the Inspector General who referred me to my local consumer affairs office in Des Moines. I was already familiar with the 800 number. I found out from the automated reply tree that the COA issue could only be addressed through the dysfunctional online system or by submitting a paper COA at my local post office. No human ever got on the line.

Then I tried the online USPS technical support page. They assigned me a Service Request number and I have to wait for a response.

I know when I’m getting the run-around. This is not about the money. I realize some people lose more money between their sofa seat cushions than I’m losing to the USPS. This is about the USPS essentially stealing from customers.

I’ve set up my very first poll on this blog about the issue. I hope you’ll register your opinions by voting and commenting.

What Kind of Mailbox Does the USPS Really Want from Us?

I just saw the latest headline about the United States Postal Service (USPS) new recommendation that we all get a nice, big mailbox. Huh?

I gather one reason for the suggestion is to cut down on mail theft. I don’t think I’m allowed to put a lock on a mailbox, no matter how big it is.

In fact, the only way I’ve seen to reduce (notice I said reduce, not eliminate) mail theft are those big mailbox clusters you see everywhere in neighborhoods nowadays. Those are the neighborhoods with Homeowners Associations (HOAs), which require you to paint your window trim with beige (not taupe, read my lips!) or face lawsuits.

You know about those clusters, they’re a block away from your house. And you know how small your mailbox is there, yet the postal service is also big on recommending that you use them, probably because it makes their job easier. Which is it? Big mailbox with no lock or big locked mailbox cluster with small boxes?

Is the postal service in charge of maintenance on those mail cluster boxes? Of course not. We’re responsible for clearing away the ice and snow. And is theft not a problem with the cluster boxes? Scan the web for stories about armed bandits who hold up the letter carrier for the key. It happens.

Bigger mailboxes are not the answer to the postal service problems. They can attract the Halloween pranksters showing off their Hank Aaron batting skills (look him up!) and sadistic city snowplow drivers who like dragging your mailbox into the next county after plugging your driveway.

I can remember when the letter carrier walked the delivery route pushing a cart filled with mail. He stopped at every house in the neighborhood to put your mail in the mailbox, which was attached to the front of your house, or to drop it in the mail slot in your front door.

I’m not saying mail theft was not a problem in those days, but I don’t recall hearing about it on the news broadcasts or reading about it in the newspaper—which I hand delivered, sometimes risking injury from big dogs. The only theft I recall was by customers who avoided paying when I tried to collect:

“Do you have change for a hundred-dollar bill, sonny?”

“I’m a paperboy, not a banker!”

“Come back next week.”

Here’s an idea. What if some scientist invented a mailbox which contained a device which would trip only after your mail was delivered? This device would spray concentrated poison ivy resin all over the inside of the mailbox, teaching thieves a lesson. Of course you would have to wear gloves to collect your mail.

Another idea is to make your own mailbox, which would be big enough for a Ninja warrior to hide inside. That would surprise the crooks! I think you can get a Ninja for a fair price on eBay.

New Cribbage Board Delivered Before Christmas–Barely

We got our new cribbage board today—after ordering it on December 15, 2019 by Priority Mail through the United States Postal Service (USPS). It’s a handsome Cherry on Hickory base V Tournament board, although we were puzzled by the label on the box which indicates that it was a Priority Mail 3-Day delivery when it was anything but.

In fact, my wife, Sena, took it down to the post office to ask a few questions about the meaning of Priority Mail. Our expected date of delivery was changed several times. Initially, it was December 18th or 19th. That morphed into December 21st, 22nd, and finally the 23rd. We got a couple of email notices saying it was to be delivered by 8:00 PM, even on a Saturday when we knew the Post Office was closed. A 3-day delivery turned into a week, which the USPS charges us a little over $13 and then says there’s no guarantee.

Sena found out that even if you order it delivered by First Class, depending on the weight, it gets bumped to Priority Mail. I’m guessing you pay more for First Class, but it sounds like you might not necessarily be any better off. Moreover, the multiple changes in expected delivery dates were called “unusual.” The worker was sympathetic, but sympathy was all Sena got. Sena was lucky she didn’t get the postal service worker working with another customer in the line next to her. All that worker said was, “There are no guarantees!”

In fact, we interrupted a cribbage game today when we discovered the new board was delivered on our porch. I set up both boards to reflect the scores.

Cribbage game in progress…

I can see that it’s easier to play a two-handed game with fewer chances for mistakes in pegging on the new board. The tracks are further apart. Knocking over pegs was not uncommon on the old board—unintentional of course.

The metal pegs that came with the new board fit the holes perfectly and the stowaway hatch on the back for them were safe because of the snug fitting wooden cover.

As I’m finishing this post, our cribbage game which started this morning around 10:30 AM, sits on the dining room table unfinished on both boards. That’s because it’s close to 50 degrees outside and Sena is watering the lawn and the trees.

We might finish the game—but there are no guarantees. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year–that’s a priority!