Help! I’m stuck on this bald eagle joke that I heard decades ago and I wonder if anyone my age can remember who originally told it. I could write the joke here, but it’s sort of a live performance thing so I have to do a little acting. That’s why I made the short video. If anybody remembers it, just make a comment. Sorry, I don’t allow comments on my YouTube channel.
Tag: jokes
Why Did China Tell President Trump His Tariff Strategy is a Joke?
The title of this post, which is admittedly the lead-in to a lame joke, is inspired partly by the news headlines today and partly by an essay, “Laughter: Better Than a Sharp Stick in Your Eye,” I found on The University of Iowa’s Well-Being at Iowa website. The author, Megan Gogerty, MFA, BA has some pretty sharp opinions about laughter being the best medicine. It’s not always the best.
Anyway, Reuters carried the story “China raises duties on US goods to 125%, calls Trump tariff hikes a ‘joke’,” by Joe Cash and Yukun Zhang, accessed April 11, 2025.
China is pretty upset. So, why did China tell President Trump his tariff strategy is a joke? Because they don’t get it.
Just half-kidding there; actually, I think that might be President Trump’s reply, but I really don’t understand tariffs. That’s probably why I also had trouble with the economist joke below:
Why did the Keynesian psychiatrist get fired? He told his patients to spend their way out of depression.
I found this joke on a YouTube by Jacob Clifford, an economics teacher. I didn’t get the joke, so I repeatedly replayed it because I couldn’t understand the first part. That’s because I didn’t know anything about Keynesian economics. It turns out that it’s based on the belief that proactive actions from the government (like spending) are the only way to control the economy. Get it? Neither do I but it was the only economy joke I could find that included a psychiatrist on a quick internet search.
Here’s twenty economics jokes from Jacob Clifford. They’re pretty lame, but then so is most of the political news.
Okay, We Can Laugh Now!
Yesterday, I wrote a pretty serious post. Now I’m in withdrawal from jokes, but I can fix that.
Here’s a joke link to a site which has clean jokes for everyone.
And here are some Chuck Norris jokes (facts?) for everyone else. One of my personal favorites:
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Give me your favorite clean jokes. I double-dog dare you.
Thoughts on Copyright Issues Related to Consultation Psychiatry and Dad Jokes
I want to gas; I mean talk about copyright as it relates to consultation psychiatry or telling dad jokes. By the way, those aren’t the same.
I used to teach medical students and residents how to do certain quick bedside cognitive tests for delirium and dementia. Over the years the instructions about how to administer them (and the restrictions over using them at all) have changed slightly. The major point to make is that they have been copyrighted, which usually means you have to pay to play.
One of them, the Mini Cog, despite being copyrighted, does not require you to pay for the privilege of using it. The video below shows part of it. I didn’t do a comedy bit about the short term recall of 3 objects. The video also flickers when I show the delirium order set; just pause it to stop the flickering.
There used to be a cognitive assessment called the Sweet 16, which started off being non-copyrighted, but then became copyrighted. At first the Sweet 16 mysteriously just disappeared from the internet. You can now download it from the internet, but it’s clearly marked as copyrighted.
The reason the Sweet 16 became unavailable is because a company called Psychological Assessments Resource (PAR) acquired the copyright and then started enforcing it. I found out about this when I could not obtain the PAR version of a cognitive assessment very similar to the Sweet 16 called the Mini Mental State Exam (MMSE) unless I forked over at least $100.
I then started teaching trainees how to use the Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA) because it was free to use without any strings attached. Then it also was copyrighted although you can use it under certain conditions.
Moving right along to telling dad jokes, I found out that dad jokes (and indeed, any joke) can be copyrighted, at least in theory. In fact, it’s hard to enforce the copyright on jokes, even when you can prove originality. Here’s an example of a dad joke I think I made up:
What do you get when you cross marijuana with a Mexican jumping bean? A grasshopper.
Note: this joke may become more important now that the DEA, according to news agencies, plans to reclassify marijuana from Schedule I to III in the near future.
Sena thought it was funny (the joke, not the DEA), which probably means it’s not, technically, a dad joke. That’s according to the authority about dad jokes, Dad-joke University of Humour, (DUH). I’m far from a joke teller at all, as Sena (and anyone else who knows me) would assert. On the other hand, I did graduate from DUH and have a diploma to prove it. You can now give me money.

Furthermore, I also investigated whether something called anti-jokes can be copyrighted. According to the internet, the answer seems to be no. Here’s my attempt of the anti-joke:
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The doorbell salesman.
See what I did there? In case you didn’t know, experts say that Knock-Knock jokes are among the hardest to copyright for reasons I suggest you look up later. If you also frame the Knock-Knock joke as an anti-joke (stay with me here), the literalness and mundanity of the so-called punch line makes it virtually impossible to copyright. And, like the dad joke, it’s usually not funny—although there can be exceptions.
Just for the sake of incompleteness, I’ll mention the concept of copyleft, which is not the same as open-source. Although this is usually applicable to computer software, you could broaden it to include dad jokes—I think. Copyleft could mean you can use or modify a dad joke (or anti-joke), spread it freely at parties and whatnot as long as it’s bound by some condition. This includes paying me (no personal checks, please).
What pet do inventors have a love-hate relationship with? A copycat.
You’re welcome.
Svengoolie Chicken Juggler Insanity!
Here’s yet another take on the Svengoolie TV show fan insanity. Maybe we’ll get over it someday, but for now I doubt it.
Sena gets in on the act this time as she throws the chicken at me after I tell cheesy jokes Svengoolie style before I juggle the Shrilling Chicken along with a couple of glow balls while wearing my brand new Svengoolie glow in the dark T-shirt. It’s a total fart—I mean gas.
I’m wearing gloves for a couple of reasons. Number one, the first time I tried to juggle the chicken, it dropped awkwardly on my right hand and made my index finger swell up. I had to let that heal up for a few days and I don’t want to reinjure myself. Number two—they just look cool.
Juggling items of different shapes, sizes, and weights is much harder than I thought. I never knew which way that chicken was going to fly. Catching it was total luck.
Doing stand up was a new thing for us. I never knew how hard it is to get your lines right. We had to do several takes to get the joke routines down. Muffing my lines was almost as funny as getting the jokes right.
But those jokes are so lame they’re great! The rim shot sound effect was a free download on pixabay.
Just another plug for Svengoolie. It’s a MeTV channel cheesy horror flick fan favorite. The show airs every Saturday evening at 7:00 PM. Svengoolie has been hosting it for decades and he introduces the movie and shares interesting background about the films and actors. He also tells these really groaner-style jokes which triggers the audience to throw chickens at him.
Tomorrow night’s movie is The Time Travelers.
You Really Had to Be There
There’s this line by Agent J in Men in Black 3 that goes: “Okay, see, the prerequisite for a joke, is that it be funny.” That’s what the “you really had to be there” expression is about and which occurs to me whenever I think about an incident that cracks me up now almost as much as it did decades ago.
The thing about the “you really had to be there” expression is that it refers to an event that was funny to someone, but the comicality of it is usually tough to explain to a person who wasn’t there at the time the event occurred. It’s one of those insider jokes. The often-present feature of the story is that there are some parts of it you’d rather not reveal. That can make it hard for some people to “get it.”
This “you really had to be there” story happened when I was a teenager. A bunch of us guys were sitting around a table after finishing lunch. We were having dessert, which were crumbly snack bars. I think they were made of chocolate Rice Krispies and they were probably old. That’s a key factor, along with the paper plates on which they were served.
Some of the guys were jonesing for a cigarette. Not me because I didn’t smoke. But the place didn’t allow smoking. One guy (I can’t remember his name so I’ll call him Ralph) started complaining about it and then starting playing with his snack bar like it was a cigarette. I know Rice Krispies bars are usually gooey, but these were definitely not. They were dry and tasteless. When you picked them up, crumbs randomly dropped all over the paper plates.
Anyway, while Ralph was moaning and groaning about not being able to smoke, he started tapping on his dessert bar like he was tapping ashes off a cigarette. Now, if you’ve ever smoked or watched somebody else smoke, it eventually dawns on you why some people say they smoke—it gives them something to do with their hands. Anyway, people used to say that. They do all sorts of weird mannerisms and trick-like finger moves while they smoke.
Anyway, Ralph would roll his cigarette/snack bar on the paper plate, tap crumbs off it like they were ashes, flick it smartly and, occasionally, he’d put it up to his lips and take a bite as though he were taking a drag.
Cigarette ash doesn’t make a sound when it falls in an ashtray. It’s impossible to explain why the tapping noise of the snack bar crumbs hitting the paper plate made us all hysterical. But it definitely had a lot to do with his clowning around with a snack bar prop. Ralph’s act was a combination of complaints about the food, the smoke-free joint, and an instinct for the prerequisite of a joke. It was funny—at a particular time and in a particular place.
I’ve thought about trying to make a YouTube video of this. But I don’t think it would be as funny as Ralph’s spontaneous performance. There’s probably no way I could pull it off. And, let’s face it, as a trained doctor knowing what I know about the health hazards of smoking, it’d be pretty awkward.
And would anyone else get it? You really had to be there.
