humor – Go Retire Psychiatrist

OK, Why is Nobody Talking About Friday the 13th Today?

Nobody but me, I guess, is talking out loud about Friday the 13^th today. I don’t remember anybody mentioning it last month when it occurred either. And it’s going to happen again this year in November. That’ll make 3 times Friday the 13th happens in a single year. And tomorrow’s Svengoolie movie is “Friday the 13^th.”

Nobody in state legislatures or the U.S. Congress is doing anything about making Friday the 13^th illegal.

There’s phobia of Friday the 13^th that everybody knows exist but that everybody (including me) always forgets, mainly because the name is very long: friggatriskaidekaphobia. There’s an alternate name: paraskevidekatriaphobia. Frigga is the name of the Norse god for Friday and if you’re partial to Greek, Paraskevi is the god’s name. The rest of the name means fear of the number 13.

I don’t remember anything unlucky about February 13th last month. In fact, I didn’t even think about it until well after the day passed.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed today.

Rash of Bigfoot Sightings in Ohio, So What About Iowa?

Actually, I should refer to the multiple sightings of Bigfoot as a flap. That’s proper terminology. The news story shows a video with the cryptid on it although I think it looks more like somebody smeared a chocolate bar on the camera lens.

There’s an organization called Bigfoot Society that is tracking the story. The Bigfoot Society Podcast by Jeremiah Byron of Earlham, Iowa posts weekly about Sasquatch sightings and lore. Here’s one about Iowa. There are a lot of ads periodically, so be patient.

There’s one thing I couldn’t find on the web and that’s the Iowa Bigfoot Information Center. There was a guy named Kevin Cook who was the head of it, but that was back in the late 1970s, which supposedly is when there were a lot of Bigfoot sightings. I found a really short article from September 24, 1978 published in the Des Moines Register about him.

I did a little digging and Kevin Cook partnered with another Bigfoot researcher named Clifford Labrecque to start the Iowa Bigfoot Information Center. Jeremiah Byron’s full YouTube presentation is sponsored by the Bigfoot Society Podcast and, unfortunately is available to members only. But there is a short teaser.

In the teaser, Byron interviews Kevin Cook and, although I can’t tell exactly how recent it is, I believe it was done shortly after Labrecque passed in 2021. The discussion mentions a prominent scientist, Dr. Jeff Meldrum, who has been interviewed on TV about Bigfoot. Unfortunately, he also passed in September of 2025. He was a full professor of Anatomy and Anthropology in the Dept of Biological Sciences at Idaho State University. He was a guest on some popular TV shows about Bigfoot (one of them misidentified him as being on faculty at Iowa State University). People are always getting Iowa mixed up with either Idaho or Ohio.

I’m reminded also of the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization (BFRO), which keeps records of Bigfoot sighting around the country and they also sponsor annual Bigfoot hunts in Iowa. They had one last year, but I couldn’t find out how that went. There’s 2026 Iowa BFRO Expedition, which starts next month, April 30-May 3. Details are available below the announcement. Guns and dogs are not allowed.

Sena and I have done our own Bigfoot expeditions and one of them is below. No need to thank us; it’s our pleasure to contribute to the scientific endeavor.

Upcoming Sven Squad Movie “Friday the 13th”

The upcoming movie with the Svengoolie Sven Squad this Saturday the 14^th comes a day late. It’s the very first “Friday the 13^th.” I’ve never seen it, but I think I’ve seen a couple of the 35 sequels. I always have to stop and think about how to distinguish the 1978 slasher “Halloween” from the 1981 slasher “Friday the 13^th,” which I think I saw.

I can’t, but that’s OK because I’ve been too busy trying to figure out why the name of the star of the first Friday the 13^thfilm sounds familiar to me. You’ll be thrilled to know that I finally remembered it’s Betsy Palmer from the old 1960’s TV show “I’ve Got a Secret.”

I think she wanted this movie to be a secret until it started making some real money.

Anyway, the movie starts with some guy in a hockey mask slashing various people who then hire a guy in a fancier mask to slash the first guy so they can go back to having casual you-know-what-kind of relations and shoplifting candy cigarettes from K-Mart, which by the way used to be Kresge’s which I am old enough to remember although I never shoplifted anything I swear. What happens next is that Slasher 1 and Slasher 2 meet on the street at high noon and threw samurai swords at each other, often missing and breaking Kresge’s windows until this wakes up Chuck Norris who is pretty annoyed and roundhouse kicks both Slashers into Saturn’s orbit although they manage to hitch a ride on one of those newfangled UFOs which resemble orbs, the extraterrestrial pilots of which hit the warp drive and shoot through a wormhole portal sending them backwards in time to 1977 and boy does that ever mess with the gyroscopes and scorch the spark plugs making it necessary to jettison a load of poorly mixed nuclear grade molten metals into a field in Council Bluffs, Iowa which for some reason did not lead to that fine community becoming a major tourist attraction, so…well, the film probably doesn’t go exactly that way but then I’ve never seen it so it doesn’t hurt to speculate a little bit.

Svengoolie Show Movie: “Son of Frankenstein”

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

Last night I thought I was going to see the movie “Son of Frankenstein” again because I saw it a year and a half ago.

In fact, while watching it I thought I either fell asleep during most of it the first time or it was a different movie. Because Svengoolie mentioned that it was a longer version of the film, I’m pretty sure it was the latter.

I didn’t write a review of it in 2024 and I also mentioned that I hadn’t read the Mary Shelley’s novel. “Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus.” So, today I actually read the Gutenberg Project version of it (OK, I don’t know if it’s the 1818 or the 1831 edition and this was not required reading in my college literature class), which was devilishly difficult to read because of the page setup.

Despite the archaic diction, I thought it was a great book and it confirmed my thought about one of the major themes in it—revenge.

I think one of the most interesting things about Shelley’s book is the connection to Prometheus. So, Dr. Jenny Lind Porter taught my English Literature class at Huston-Tillotson College (now H-T University) in Austin, Texas and she assigned the paperback edition of “Mythology” by Edith Hamilton back in the mid-1970s. The original copyright year was 1942, renewed in 1969.

One of the interesting stories about Prometheus is that he cooked up a fake steak dinner for Zeus by tricking it out with a lot of fat, bone, and gristle and gave fire to men so they could barbecue the best cuts so Zeus took revenge on Prometheus by tying him to a rock where a huge eagle snacked on his liver every day which regenerated making the torment a regular thing. Prometheus also cautions against the threat of unrestrained scientific progress and hubris (overweening pride).

Anyway, “Son of Frankenstein” is a 1939 Universal Films movie starring Basil Rathbone (Baron Wolf von Frankenstein), Josephine Hutchinson (Elsa von Frankenstein), Donnie Dunagan (Peter von Frankenstein), Boris Karloff (the monster), Bela Lugosi (Ygor), and Lionel Atwill (Inspector Krogh).

The theme of revenge is strong in “Son of Frankenstein.” Ygor takes revenge on the two living council members who hanged him after the elder Frankenstein first let the monster loose. Lugosi is both creepy and funny at times. I think the makeup job on his neck made him look like he has a chicken bone caught in his throat when viewed in profile.

I was pretty impressed by Frankenstein’s gradual transformation from a gentle husband and father to a high-strung, sarcastic, and extremely irritable and driven mad scientist.

The dart game between Inspector Krogh and Frankenstein are almost surreal, occurring at a time when the mood is very tense when the action going on elsewhere in the castle is dire enough to demand their attention to something else other than playing darts. I got the sense Frankenstein threw darts because it’s cheaper than therapy.

The monster’s behavior varied from being a dumb randomly violent beast to a calculating criminal methodically setting up one of his brutal murder scenes to make it look like an accident.

I think this movie is pretty good and I give it a Shrilling Chicken Rating of 4/5.

Today is National Grammar Day So Let’s Hear it for Will Strunks’ Little Book!

Sena just told me that it’s National Grammar Day today, which was news to me, but irregardless (whoops, that’s ungrammatical! It’s regardless or off comes your head), I mean regardless, grammar is pretty important.

This reminds me of the essayist, E.B. White, who wrote an essay about his former teacher, Will Strunk Jr. White admired Strunk so much, he revived what Strunk wrote about grammar and word usage in what he called “the little book,” his own short guide to grammar.

The title of the book is “The Elements of Style.” White’s introduction quotes Strunk on his opinion of the best prose being short and to the point:

“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.”

I cringe every time I hear somebody on TV say “comprised of.” It’s either “composed of” or “comprises.” Professor Strunk adds a nugget to this in Chapter IV: Words and Expressions Commonly Misused.

“Comprise. Literally, “embrace”: A zoo comprises mammals, reptiles, and birds (because it “embraces” or includes them). But animals do not comprise (“embrace”) a zoo—they constitute a zoo.”

“Irregardless. Should be regardless. The error results from failure to see the negative in -less and from a desire to get it in as a prefix, suggested by such words as irregular, irresponsible, and, perhaps, especially, irrespective.”

“Literal. Literally. Often incorrectly used in support of exaggeration or violent metaphor.

A literal flood of abuse a flood of abuse

Literally dead with fatigue almost dead with fatigue

“Nauseous. Nauseated. The first means “sickening to contemplate.”; the second means “sick at the stomach.” Do not, therefore, say, “I feel nauseous,” unless you are sure you have that effect on others.”

I hear these expressions a lot and always correct them in my mind. Yet I still make a lot of mistakes that would have made Professor Strunk cringe. And even my spell checker made a mistake in Strunk’s text. He has what seem like a lot of rules, but the book is still little. And I mention his influence in part of my introduction to the book I and my former Dept of Psychiatry Chair Robert G. Robinson wrote: Psychosomatic Medicine: An Introduction to Consultation-Liaison Psychiatry:

“The handbook is also a collaborative work. Many of the chapters were co-written by learners and teachers. One of the major goals of the work was to bring them together, sparking the synergy to create new solutions by letting the learner teach and the teacher learn. It is meant to be the portable, dog-eared, coffee-stained companion to any learner who needs pithy guidance on the basics of consultation psychiatry. Accordingly, as we came to call it for short, it’s “the little book” of Psychosomatic Medicine, in honor of E.B. White’s homage to Will Strunk’s “little book”, The Elements of Style, which was a pithy guide to writing. This is not a textbook; it is the little book.”

Happy National Grammar Day!

References:

Essays of E.B. White 1971 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White 2005 Penguin Press

Psychosomatic Medicine An Introduction to Consultation-Liaison Psychiatry edited by James J. Amos and Robert G. Robinson 2010 Cambridge Univ Press

Svengoolie Show Movie: “The War of the Worlds”

We watched the 1953 movie “War of the Worlds” last night. I can vaguely remember seeing the remake starting Tom Cruise years ago. I ran across a free pdf of H.G. Wells novel “The War of the worlds, published in 1898 and quickly read it today for the first time. Apparently, it was a pretty racy book not suitable for children as this quote shows:

The War of the Worlds by HG Wells quote in Book One, The Coming of the Martians, Chapter 14 In London pg. 129: “He heard footsteps running to and fro in the rooms, and up and down stairs behind. His landlady came to the door, loosely wrapped in dressing gown and shawl; her husband followed ejaculating.”

You won’t see anybody ejaculating in this movie.

Contrast this with Book Two, The Earth Under the Martians, Chapter 2: What We Saw From the Ruined House, pg 202: “In the next place, wonderful as it seems in the sexual world, the Martians were absolutely without sex…” Apparently, they reproduced by budding.

I was surprised to see one of the main characters in the movie, the scientist Dr. Clayton Forrester (Gene Barry) square dancing with the other star Sylvia Van Buren (Ann Robinson). That’s when I knew this was going to be a real horror flick, because I remember being required to learn how to square dance in grade school. What a nightmare! Anyway, in the movie they were do-si-dosing and allemanding left all over the joint. Check out the video of the scene below:

It quickly got scarier when the Martians arrived. The space ships were modeled by imitating the shapes of cobras and manta rays, but the actual Martians who drove them reminded me of little E.T. The Extraterrestrial in the movie of the same name.

By the way, Orson Welles was not related to H.G. Wells but he did perform the radio show adaptation of it in 1938, which led to many stories reporting that the listeners peed their pants in widespread panic, but that didn’t really happen. Most people didn’t listen to the radio and preferred to play video games on their cell phones. H.G. Wells met with Orson after that and taught him how to spell his name right.

The attitude in the 1950s toward women actors was atrocious and Ann Robinson was required to have two or three episodes of hysterics and at least one near-fainting spell per scene with Gene Barry. However, her hair was never mussed and her makeup never smeared, even after she beat the crap out of a Martian who tried to square dance with her.

The Martians were really out of shape and flabby so they used their technology to make copies of Chuck Norris, who round-house kicked the entire military force into next week. Of course, the Pentagon was still trying to back-engineer UFOs that crashed in places like Roswell, New Mexico so they were naturally ill-equipped when it came to battling the Martians.

However, what the Martians didn’t know about earthlings was the strength of our immune systems. In fact, they didn’t know what immune systems were (which even some earthlings don’t understand). They were unaware of the power of snot, which some people are able to focus, aim, and fire with pinpoint accuracy.

On the other hand, according to a reliable scientific opinion from a well-documented, unimpeachable source (Men in Black movie 1997): “Human thought is so primitive it’s looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies.” On the other hand, we can do-si-do when properly motivated.

I think this movie is OK, outside of square-dancing special effects. I give it a 3/5 Shrilling Chicken Rating.

The 29 Cribbage Board Rematch Game is in the Books!

Well, we finally had our rematch of the 29-board cribbage game today! Sena won! We made a YouTube video of it. We used alternate brightly colored acrylic pegs that are special order. They didn’t come with the board.

I won the first game back in 2020. Sena won the rematch in 2022. She’s the champ—so far.

We took the shortcut method of counting certain combinations that included both runs and pairs. You can get instructions on how to count those at this link. We weren’t surprised that neither one of us got a 29 hand today.

Give it a try!

Cribbage 29 Board Ordered!

Well, remember that Cribbage 29 board we lost in the move that I blogged about in December? They were out of stock until a few days ago. Sena ordered one and we should be getting it pretty soon. It’s a 10-inch board. The cut card printed on it is 5 spades.

So, we’ll have to have a rematch. Lately, we’ve been picking cribbage variations (but not like late last year!). We’ve been playing mostly 6-card, 7-card, and 10-card variants.

It’s funny, but the YouTube video of us playing a game on the 29 board in 2020 got a few more views (for a while) after I reposted it a couple of months ago with the post about the history of the 29 board. We had a rematch about 3 years ago and Sena won.

Neither one of us has ever been lucky enough to get a 29 hand because the odds of getting it are 1 in 216, 580. Now, the odds of getting a 28 hand are 1 in 15, 028. The only time I ever got that was in a Cribbage Pro computer game playing against Brutal last September.

We’ll have to make another video of the rematch after we get the new 29 board. Who do you got your money on?

Svengoolie Sven Squad Movie: “The Mist”

Last night the Sven Squad presented the movie, “The Mist” on the Svengoolie show. This one is hard to simply poke fun at. It’s also hard to compare to Stephen King’s novella of the same name published in 1980 because I’ve never read it.

The graphic violence throughout the film and the ending left me cold. I think even the Sven Squad had a difficult time making jokes in between scenes.

That said, the story and characters reminded me of certain kinds of people and certain themes. One kind of person is the cult leader. In the film this would be Mrs. Carmody (Marcia Gay Harden). She was this hyper religious person who acted crazy, yet managed to convince a large number of people that she was the savior who could deliver everyone in the grocery store from the horrible fate lurking in the mist. This turns out to be human sacrifice, which is what some ancient cultures did to appease the gods and also gave them a sense of control over nature.

For some strange reason, she was not eaten by one of the monsters, despite the fact it landed on her chest, climbed up on her neck and sprinkled salt, pepper, and oregano on her face.

It also reminds me of cult leaders who managed to persuade many people to commit suicide, e.g., Jim Jones (Peoples Temple) in the 1970s, Marshall Applewhite (Heaven’s Gate) and David Koresh (Branch Davidians) in the 1990s.

I wasn’t sad about Mrs. Carmody’s fate.

One theme I think of from this movie is hubris. Sure, it’s something that will trigger bad memories for some people of their undergraduate college days, but I think it explains why the military decided they could safely open a portal between dimensions. Hubris is overweening pride and means you’re tempting the gods to destroy you when you think you can get away with sticking your chewing gum under your seat at the movies. People think they can control whatever monsters they find in the universe and can stuff trouble back in Pandora’s box.

Another common idea nowadays is that some otherwise unexplainable creatures you almost never see in real life and never find fossils for (like Bigfoot) might be because they are interdimensional beings. Hey, that works for some people.

So, you can go ahead and keep looking for wormholes and portals that open up the gates of hell and there you go. You just let a mosquito the size of an SUV in the house. Are there doorknobs on portals? Did you listen to your mother when she told you to shut the screen door behind you?

No, and you know who you are.

I got a kick out of Ollie Weeks (Toby Jones) who could shoot a monster by turning his back on it and using a mirror and firing backwards over his shoulder, blasting it into next week. How many bullets did that gun have? I thought it was ten but it seemed like there were more, even though it misfired once. Ollie was a hero without hubris.

I didn’t get the ending and I’m not going to put in a spoiler on it. But it’s another place where the number of bullets in the gun gets to be the focus of some reviewers who have horrible suggestions.

This movie is tough to rate because it takes itself too seriously. The acting was riveting in some scenes and just overdone in others, in my opinion. It’s not for kids, yet there was a little kid who played a big role in it. The ending seems to lend itself mainly to instructions on how to commit homicide and suicide. The cavalry arrives too late. It’s packed with action but it lacks heroes to admire, except for self-effacing, deadeye Ollie.

I’m giving this movie a Shrilling Chicken Rating of 3/5.

Iowa Legislature Offering Cheese and Crackers on the Bill of Fare

I heard a song entitled “Cheese and Crackers” on the Big Mo Blues Show last night. I’ve heard a few times over the years, but I never looked up what it meant until today.

The song was originally written by a rockabilly singer named Hayden Thompson, although I’ve only heard it sung by blues artist Roscoe Gordon. According to a Reddit social media thread, “Cheese and Crackers” was the B side of a record by Thompson and the A side was “Shoobie Oobie.” Thompson couldn’t find anyone to arrange the “Cheese and Crackers” lyrics at a recording studio and left in a huff, leaving the lyrics on the piano.

Roscoe found it and put it in an R&B arrangement. Billboard magazine called it the strangest new release of the week. The song is about a guy repeatedly being offered cheese and crackers although he doesn’t like or want them. According to a Wikipedia article, the term “cheese and crackers” is a kind of mild swear word chilled down from “Jesus Christ.”

That’s funny, because that’s how I feel about all the anti-vaccine bills coming out of the Iowa Legislature this year. One of them is SF 2095, which seeks to penalize private postsecondary colleges and universities if they don’t accommodate students who want to be exempt from all vaccines for any reason and to find clinical training programs who will accept them. An excerpt from the bill:

“A postsecondary school offering a degree requiring a clinical rotation shall, upon request of a student enrolled in the degree program, identify a clinical rotation placement where the student will be permitted an exemption from any vaccination requirements imposed by the placement location during the duration of the student’s clinical rotation.

A postsecondary school not in compliance shall not qualify as an eligible institution for the purposes of Iowa tuition grant.”

The other punishment could be a fine. Unless I’m looking on the web in the wrong place, I don’t find any such facility anywhere in Iowa. That would mean the postsecondary private school would be punished for something it can’t control. I’m pretty sure that would be called unjust—or maybe tricky if the goal is to coerce clinical training program leaders to loosen up their vaccine exemption policies. Right now, the only exemptions are religion or medical.

This sounds like the Iowa legislature is offering us cheese and crackers. No thank you.