Go Retire Psychiatrist

Well, as of this morning, Sena gave up on apple cider vinegar (ACV). After a couple of months of daily doses of The Mother, she’s calling it quits. The main reason is that it tastes awful. I think I lasted a couple of weeks before I quit. There’s no solid scientific evidence that it makes you able to leap tall buildings at a single bound.

We first started experimenting with ACV in April. It was prompted by my discovery that I’d gained twenty pounds since I retired from consultation-liaison psychiatry in 2020.

Since then, we’ve undergone a transformation in our approach to regular exercise and dietary discretion. We don’t have a scale but I can tell I’ve made progress because my waistline has shrunk. I have a pair of jeans I can’t hold up anymore.

When we first started drinking a tablespoon of ACV in a few tablespoons of water, we still had a jar of Miracle Whip. We used the Miracle Whip on kale salad as a dressing. And then we ran out of Miracle Whip.

This gives me a chance to publicly hint that I think it would be nice to get another jar of Miracle Whip, for two reasons. One is that I like it better than mayonnaise (mayo). The other is that of all my blog posts, the one that still consistently gets the most views and still holds the record for the most comments is “What Happened to Miracle Whip?”

I posted that on September 3, 2022. It has 19 comments, all of which express the same position that the Kraft Heinz company somehow changed the recipe of Miracle Whip. It reaches the level of a conspiracy theory.

Most of the commenters are probably my age or older. I think it tastes slightly different, but I attribute that to my aging taste buds.

On the Kraft Heinz website, you can send a complaint to the company about it, but you have to have a couple of identifying numbers of the product—which means you have to buy it because both numbers are on the label.

Sena probably won’t tolerate Miracle Whip even if it just sits in the pantry. She prefers mayonnaise. If we were to get another jar of Miracle Whip, I could make an inquiry because then I’d have the identifying numbers the company requires. I would ask the company what makes so many people think they changed the recipe.

And that’s how the ACV issue transforms into the Miracle Whip vs Mayo controversy. We agree that ACV is a terrible-tasting fraud as a health product. We disagree about which tastes better: Miracle Whip or mayo. It’s illogical, but so what?

I think it might be fair to get at least as many comments on this post (19) as the original “What Happened to Miracle Whip)” post in order to persuade Sena to allow another jar of Miracle Whip in the house.