What Happened to Miracle Whip?

Okay, the update on the Mayo vs Miracle Whip thing is not going as planned so far. A couple of days ago, we had tuna fish sandwiches using Miracle Whip.

This was not the Miracle Whip I knew growing up. Neither of us could appreciate much of a taste at all. It’s a crisis.

Even the label on the jar looks strange. Since when does Kraft call it “Creamy Mayo & Tangy Dressing?” Why do they need to use the word “Mayo?” And it didn’t have the tangy flavor I remember.

This is all because of aliens. I’m pretty sure this is a violation of the Intergalactic Federation for Preservation of Tanginess Standards (IFFPOTS). Look it up.

I never made Miracle Whip sandwiches with just Miracle Whip on two slices of bread. I also had a slice of lunch meat on them. In fact, I ate one Miracle Whip nitrate-rich lunch meat sandwich a day for lunch for years. Its’ a good thing scientists discovered that nitrates aren’t bad for you.

But the point is the Miracle Whip tasted tangy back in those days. What happened?

Maybe it’s because my taste buds are older. More likely it’s because aliens kidnapped me and altered my taste buds. Or maybe they altered the Miracle Whip itself.

We’re not done yet. There are other recipes to try.

Author: James Amos

I'm a retired consult-liaison psychiatrist. I navigated the path in a phased retirement program through the hospital where I was employed. I was fully retired as of June 30, 2020. This blog chronicles my journey.

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