Sena had another dietary brainstorm and bought something called apple cider vinegar.
Warning: it contains a substance called “the mother.”
I’m not sure what the mother is, exactly, but I’m concerned that it might be something that would turn up as the main creature on a Svengoolie show movie. By the way, tonight it’s the 1977 release of “The Car.”
I was not sure whether I would want to consume anything that might contain vestiges (chunks?) of somebody’s mom. Hard to believe, this stuff has been around since 1912. What did the children think?
Actually, according to the first (and only) source I looked up on the web, the vinegar part got started by the Babylonians in 5000 B.C. Leave it to the Babylonians. You can mix it with moonshine to make werewolves. Think about that.
Sena thought I was going to look up scientific research about this. However, the claims that it makes mice smarter than humans is trivial. Just about every living creature is smarter than a human. Just read the news.
It turns out the mother is a mixture of acids that can make you hallucinate extraterrestrials and Bigfoot. You could use it as an underarm deodorant, but you might get sued by the maker of Lume deodorizer products.
There are a few tried and true effects of apple cider vinegar. You can soak your feet in it—if you don’t mind the incidental result nobody mentions, which is that your feet dissolve. You can get rid of fleas with it, but you might just want to visit a vet. And anything you can use as a weed killer should you make you think twice about drinking it. The bottle directs you to shake gently before using. You wouldn’t want to throw your hip out of joint.
Thank you for your time.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 