So, for the past several days, Sena has been bugging me to let her give me a facial. I’ve never had a facial; it never occurred to me; I had no idea what it even entailed. I looked it up on the web. I read things that kind of scared me.
Facials can result in something called “purges.” It turns out facials can sometimes lead to them and it could transport you pack to the days when you were a pimply teenager. Yeah, like I want to break out in pimples! Are you kidding me?
I read about the shaving controversy surrounding facials. Should you shave or not before a facial? No, because it’s like a double exfoliation, and that’s against federal law! Nah, no reason to worry about shaving or not shaving, just go and get the facial!
She just kept after me. Every single day, the question was some variation on the same theme: And when would you like your facial? Are you ready for your facial? Did I mention I can give you a facial? Have I asked you yet about your facial?
Yeah, about five minutes ago.
Sena gives herself facials and says it’s relaxing and does wonders for her skin. What’s wrong with my skin? Is my facial skin defective? It covers my skull. That’s what it’s for.
I also recalled the Men in Black scene in which Agents J and K question Beatrice about what happened to her husband Edgar, who got eaten by a giant alien cockroach who took his skin and wore it as a disguise. When Agent K neuralyzed Beatrice, Agent J suggested she “find somewhere where you can get a facial.” I don’t think anybody suggested Edgar get a facial, but he probably needed one more than Beatrice did.
I finally realized I would never hear the end of it, so I said yeah, go ahead give me a facial. It tingled. It didn’t take an hour. So far there has been no purging of any kind. I think I glow. Maybe I could try another one in a year or so.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 