Tag: tree bags

Constipated Tree Bags!

We have an update on the tree bags. Believe it or not, the tree bags have been constipated! We had to hire out an archery team to shoot a few arrows into them to get them to drain. Otherwise, the trees would get moldy—I guess.

There’s something to consider, though. If the tree bags worked the way they should, you’d have a lot more work to do, filling them up every so often. That would get old in a hurry.

Archers don’t come cheap. They have their own union. And if they occasionally miss, they have to make return trips, which runs up the charges.

If you’re feeling lucky, you can contact them on the internet: Tree Bag Archery: Purging is Our Point!

Update on the Tree Bag Thing

I have a quick update on the tree bag project around here. The landscaper dropped by and replaced a plant. Sena asked for his opinion on tree bags. He says tree bags are good.

Sena got four of them, one on the front yard maple and three for the rest of the trees in the back yard.

What’s a tree’s favorite song? “Please rebag me, let me grow, for I’m so thirsty anymore…” Think Engelbert Humperdinck. It’ll come to you.

I bet you didn’t know Michael Jackson did a song about tree bags. “You know I’m bagged; I’m bagged…, you know it…Who’s bagged?”

What’s Up with Tree Bags?

Sena got some tree bags for keeping our trees watered. They don’t come with explicit instructions; I’ve never had to deal with them. As always, I suspect extraterrestrials and other strange beings are involved.

Apparently, the tree bags are supposed to provide enough water for young trees so they grow and thrive in your yard.

Here’s what I found when I consulted the extraterrestrial manual for help. There are certain factors to be aware of, such as you want to make sure you get tree bags on sale. A reasonable price is around several thousand dollars, so you want to arrive at Lowe’s or wherever with a wheelbarrow full of cash.

There’s no fancy water sewer hookup. You have to haul the water out to the tree bag so you can immediately accidentally dump it on your clothes. This is mandatory.

Be on the lookout for wandering elfin archers, who use tree bags for target practice. And if the bag doesn’t work out, you can always wear it as a super hero cape.

I’m skeptical about the whole theory behind tree bags. The trouble is it probably doesn’t hold water. See what I did there?

Good luck!