Svengoolie horror TV shows – Go Retire Psychiatrist

Svengoolie Movie: “An American Werewolf in London”

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

Let me get this off my chest first. Sena and I watched the Svengoolie show the 1981 movie, “An American Werewolf in London” directed by John Landis last night and neither of us remember hearing Sam Cooke’s version of the song “Blue Moon” during the transformation scene when David Naughton (David Kessler) turns into a werewolf. We found other videos in which Cook’s smooth delivery of “Blue Moon” is clearly playing while David is morphing into a monster.

But neither one of us remembers hearing it on the Svengoolie show last night. Anyway, IMDB has a short paragraph which says director John Landis wanted the Sam Cooke version of “Blue Moon” playing during the transformation scene because he wanted to contrast the sadness of the song with the horror of the transformation. The composer, Elmer Bernstein, made an alternate music for the scene which never got used because Landis vetoed it.

That said, this is not going to be my usual tongue-in-cheek fake review with a lot of fibs and dad jokes. I should also mention that Sena watched the movie in a different room from mine because she doesn’t like the number of commercials on the Svengoolie show and switches channels a lot.

The movie is supposed to be a mix of comedy and horror and I liked that. Sena was a bit ambivalent about it but overall thought parts of it were pretty funny.

The movie opens with David Naughton (David Kessler) and Griffin Dunne (Jack Goodman) ignoring the advice of patrons at a tavern with the cheerful name The Slaughtered Lamb to stick to the road and avoid the moor. A werewolf attacks them, kills Jack but David is hospitalized with wounds. Jack appears to David periodically (each time more decayed) to tell him he needs to commit suicide in order to stop the werewolf bloodline so that Jack can die because he’s now undead.

Alex Price (Jenny Agutter) is David’s nurse in the hospital. She gets a crush on him and takes him home with her when he’s ready to leave. David’s doctor eventually gets the idea that he might be delusional about being a werewolf. David tries to convince Alex that he’s a werewolf by explaining the 1941 movie “The Wolfman.” The key is that he can be saved from his fate only by someone who loves him. Alex doesn’t get it—at first.

David’s transformation scene was pretty intense, which may be why neither of us actually heard Sam Cooke’s smooth delivery of the song “Blue Moon.” That might speak against Landis’s idea that a sad song might moderate the horror of David’s terrifying metamorphosis into a huge, demonic wolf. However, I did find out that the film’s composer, Elmer Bernstein, wanted to use a scary music. Landis wanted to use Cooke’s rendition of “Blue Moon” and prevailed. However, there’s a clip with Bernstein’s music, which is pretty intense. I didn’t much care for it, although Sena thought it fit better with the transformation.

There were actually three versions of the song “Blue Moon” in the movie: one by Bobby Vinton, one by Sam Cooke, and the third by The Marcels. Neither of us heard “Blue Moon” by Sam Cook. We couldn’t find evidence on the web that the Svengoolie version edited out the song. On the other hand, neither did we hear the sexually suggestive noises in the porno theater when David’s slaughtered victims give him helpful advice about how to commit suicide so that they can get out of limbo. Again, that’s because they’re undead and David has to kill himself in order for them to move on. Even his friend Jack, who was killed by the werewolf who attacked him and David early in the movie, supports this effort—although he scoffs at the idea of a silver bullet being the weapon of choice.

The link between the 1941 movie “The Wolfman” and “An American Werewolf in London” becomes clearer late in the film. Readers can figure it out.

There’s an Easter egg in this movie and it’s the Piccadilly Circus adult film theater marquee, “See You Next Wednesday.” This is a recurring gag in many films by John Landis. It’s a line from the movie “2001: A Space Odyssey.”

“See You Next Wednesday” is a line from the 1968 film “2001: A Space Odyssey.” It is the last line spoken by Frank Poole’s father during Poole’s video message from his parents.

Sena and I both think the movie is pretty good and give it a Shrilling Chicken rating of 4.5/5.

Svengoolie Show Movie: “House on Haunted Hill”

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

Right after Sena and finished the marathon Cribbage Rumble game last night, we watched the Svengoolie show 1959 movie, “House on Haunted Hill,” just like she said during the video. We’ve never seen the movie before, but Sena figured out whodunit pretty early.

I wanted to watch it because one of the stars played the part of a psychiatrist, Alan Marshall (Dr. Trent Long). Vincent Price played the heavy, a wealthy, sinister, and jealous husband, Vincent Price (Frederick Loren). Carol Ohmart plays his wife, Annabelle Loren.

Frederick arranges for 5 people who desperately need the $10,000 he offers each one if they survive the night in a haunted house full of ghosts and neurotic cribbage players.

The house itself is kind of a character, even though I don’t normally think of Frank Lloyd Wright as an architect who specialized in building haunted houses. It’s called the Ennis House and it’s in Los Angeles. It was also featured in the movie “Blade Runner.” It was built from precast, interlocked concrete blocks. It’s been bought and sold many times and I think it’s still owned by cannabis entrepreneurs. It’s perfect for the movie. The photo of the house demonstrates what happens to a place owned by pot salesmen.

By the way, Frank Lloyd Wright also designed several homes buildings in the downtown and Rock Glen areas of my hometown, Mason City, Iowa. I don’t think any of them are haunted.

The group of five money-hungry people includes, besides the psychiatrist, Dr. David Trent, played by Alan Marshal; Wilson Pritchard, a loser who believes in ghosts and booze, played by Elisha Cook Jr.; Lance Schroeder, played by Richard Long; the hysteric, Nora Manning, played by Carolyn Craig; and Ruth Bridges, played by Julie Mitchum. Special mention must go to the house caretakers: husband (Jonas, played by Howard Hoffman) and his mobile wife. She looks lie a zombie and she looked like she was riding a segway with her arms outstretched, apparently in order to stop herself from falling on what’s left of her face if she pitches forward off her segway (which is somehow delivered through a wormhole portal from 45 years in the future). Her name, of course, is Mrs. Slydes.

Annabelle and Frederick Loren are very unhappy with each other and she’s a little nervous about him because his last three wives all died under suspicious circumstances. Frederick is very jealous and thinks she’s unfaithful.

Dr. Trent is as physically imposing and dark as Frederick. He suggests that Nora take a sedative after she has several hysterical outbursts including seeing commonplace objects like severed heads in odd places—like her overnight bag.

Things ramp up in a hurry after Annabelle is discovered hanging and apparently dead. How she got that way is a mystery. It’s less mysterious in the scene in which her corpse is lying in bed and the close up shows her carotid pulse is clearly pulsating—which no one bothers to mention.

There’s scene in which a skeleton chases a very alive Annabelle around who screams her head off. Sena says strings were clearly visible attached to the skeleton. I didn’t see them, but the skeleton seemed to be as drunk as Pritchard, and clearly would never have passed a sobriety test.

The very generous Frederick Loren distributes guns to everybody which prompts Pritchard to insist they would be useless against ghosts, which in turn prompts Frederick to pistol whip him. Everyone just assumes that they all know how to handle a gun, even when Nora holds her pistol upside down and backward. Dr. Trent offers her a Valium, which she refuses and then kicks him in the groin, to which he responds by offering Freudian interpretations involving cigars. Mrs. Slydes then pops out of a sliding door in a wall on her souped-up segway and knocks everyone down as though they were bowling pins.

There’s not much to say that wouldn’t at least skirt the edge of being a spoiler. Sena calls Vincent Price “Vinny,” likes his acting and would give the movie a Shrilling Chicken Rating of 5/5. I would give it a 4/5, so we had to play rock, paper, scissors. I won so the rating is 4/5.

Svengoolie Show Movie: “The Mummy’s Hand” and Svengoolie Cameo

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

OK, I saw this movie The Mummy’s Hand (1940) last night and went to bed wondering if I was crazy or fell asleep briefly and had a dream during the show. I saw something incredible; it looked like Svengoolie had a cameo in the film! At about half hour or so in, the archaeologists are at the dig site looking at an old locket with photos of an old woman and a man. The old woman was Svengoolie in drag!

I checked this morning by looking at the Internet Archive version of the movie and there were two photos in the locket, one of them a man on the right and a woman on the left. Neither was Svengoolie.

I searched the web and immediately found the Svengoolie movie Facebook page in which several other people had seen that Svengoolie in drag was the picture on the left in the locket. Apparently, he pulls this kind of prank occasionally, but this was the first time I’ve seen it.

Anyway, the movie stars Dick Foran (Steve Banning), Wallace Ford (Babe Jenson), Peggy Moran (Marta Solvani), Tom Tyler (the Mummy), and Cecil Kellaway (Mr. Solvani). I didn’t expect the film to be a mix of comedy and horror, but making fun of the mummy tropes seemed to work.

I haven’t seen the first movie, “The Mummy.” I’ve seen “Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb,” (also on the Svengoolie show a couple of months ago) in which Babe was a little less funny than in “The Mummy’s Hand.”

The special Tana leaves again appear in this film, which privileged ancient Egyptians rolled up using Zig-Zag paper and smoked, which was better than the weak beer they made and could make mummies come back to life and enable them able to leap tall date palms in a single bound.

The evil Andohep (played by George Zucco), who is sweet on Marta and tries to flirt with her by enticing her with a Tana joint, controls the Mummy with a bong full of the stuff, which enables it to bound across the desert despite lacking the full use of its left leg and right arm.

The comedy duo of Banning and Babe talk Mr. Solvani (a stage magician) into bankrolling their next archaeologic expedition by causing a huge bar fight which Marta breaks up by using her karate skills although later she develops fake fainting spells which allow her to fall into Banning’s arms. Babe gets jealous because all he gets is a little dancing hula girl doll which seems a little out of place in the Egyptian desert but, whatever.

The action takes a side track when Babe tries to learn Mr. Solvani’s magic trick of seeming to swallow a fair size boulder but then makes it appear out of thin air to drop on a Bactrian camel (appeared in this film) which, while not native to Egypt, can gallop from central Asia to munch on Tana leaves, although apparently, they can be crushed by large rocks falling from Babe’s mouth, which occurs after he, seemingly choking on the rock, is saved by the Mummy who dislodges it by using the Heimlich maneuver. This brings them all together to fight for rescheduling Tana leaves to Schedule III by fooling all the DEA agents into believing they can learn to shoot like Marta, who’s a better shot than Annie Oakley.

This is a pretty good movie, mostly because of the Svengoolie cameo gag, and I give it a Shrilling Chicken Rating of 4/5.

Upcoming Sven Squad Movie “Friday the 13th”

The upcoming movie with the Svengoolie Sven Squad this Saturday the 14^th comes a day late. It’s the very first “Friday the 13^th.” I’ve never seen it, but I think I’ve seen a couple of the 35 sequels. I always have to stop and think about how to distinguish the 1978 slasher “Halloween” from the 1981 slasher “Friday the 13^th,” which I think I saw.

I can’t, but that’s OK because I’ve been too busy trying to figure out why the name of the star of the first Friday the 13^thfilm sounds familiar to me. You’ll be thrilled to know that I finally remembered it’s Betsy Palmer from the old 1960’s TV show “I’ve Got a Secret.”

I think she wanted this movie to be a secret until it started making some real money.

Anyway, the movie starts with some guy in a hockey mask slashing various people who then hire a guy in a fancier mask to slash the first guy so they can go back to having casual you-know-what-kind of relations and shoplifting candy cigarettes from K-Mart, which by the way used to be Kresge’s which I am old enough to remember although I never shoplifted anything I swear. What happens next is that Slasher 1 and Slasher 2 meet on the street at high noon and threw samurai swords at each other, often missing and breaking Kresge’s windows until this wakes up Chuck Norris who is pretty annoyed and roundhouse kicks both Slashers into Saturn’s orbit although they manage to hitch a ride on one of those newfangled UFOs which resemble orbs, the extraterrestrial pilots of which hit the warp drive and shoot through a wormhole portal sending them backwards in time to 1977 and boy does that ever mess with the gyroscopes and scorch the spark plugs making it necessary to jettison a load of poorly mixed nuclear grade molten metals into a field in Council Bluffs, Iowa which for some reason did not lead to that fine community becoming a major tourist attraction, so…well, the film probably doesn’t go exactly that way but then I’ve never seen it so it doesn’t hurt to speculate a little bit.

Svengoolie Show Movie: “Son of Frankenstein”

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

Last night I thought I was going to see the movie “Son of Frankenstein” again because I saw it a year and a half ago.

In fact, while watching it I thought I either fell asleep during most of it the first time or it was a different movie. Because Svengoolie mentioned that it was a longer version of the film, I’m pretty sure it was the latter.

I didn’t write a review of it in 2024 and I also mentioned that I hadn’t read the Mary Shelley’s novel. “Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus.” So, today I actually read the Gutenberg Project version of it (OK, I don’t know if it’s the 1818 or the 1831 edition and this was not required reading in my college literature class), which was devilishly difficult to read because of the page setup.

Despite the archaic diction, I thought it was a great book and it confirmed my thought about one of the major themes in it—revenge.

I think one of the most interesting things about Shelley’s book is the connection to Prometheus. So, Dr. Jenny Lind Porter taught my English Literature class at Huston-Tillotson College (now H-T University) in Austin, Texas and she assigned the paperback edition of “Mythology” by Edith Hamilton back in the mid-1970s. The original copyright year was 1942, renewed in 1969.

One of the interesting stories about Prometheus is that he cooked up a fake steak dinner for Zeus by tricking it out with a lot of fat, bone, and gristle and gave fire to men so they could barbecue the best cuts so Zeus took revenge on Prometheus by tying him to a rock where a huge eagle snacked on his liver every day which regenerated making the torment a regular thing. Prometheus also cautions against the threat of unrestrained scientific progress and hubris (overweening pride).

Anyway, “Son of Frankenstein” is a 1939 Universal Films movie starring Basil Rathbone (Baron Wolf von Frankenstein), Josephine Hutchinson (Elsa von Frankenstein), Donnie Dunagan (Peter von Frankenstein), Boris Karloff (the monster), Bela Lugosi (Ygor), and Lionel Atwill (Inspector Krogh).

The theme of revenge is strong in “Son of Frankenstein.” Ygor takes revenge on the two living council members who hanged him after the elder Frankenstein first let the monster loose. Lugosi is both creepy and funny at times. I think the makeup job on his neck made him look like he has a chicken bone caught in his throat when viewed in profile.

I was pretty impressed by Frankenstein’s gradual transformation from a gentle husband and father to a high-strung, sarcastic, and extremely irritable and driven mad scientist.

The dart game between Inspector Krogh and Frankenstein are almost surreal, occurring at a time when the mood is very tense when the action going on elsewhere in the castle is dire enough to demand their attention to something else other than playing darts. I got the sense Frankenstein threw darts because it’s cheaper than therapy.

The monster’s behavior varied from being a dumb randomly violent beast to a calculating criminal methodically setting up one of his brutal murder scenes to make it look like an accident.

I think this movie is pretty good and I give it a Shrilling Chicken Rating of 4/5.

Svengoolie Sven Squad Movie: “The Mist”

Last night the Sven Squad presented the movie, “The Mist” on the Svengoolie show. This one is hard to simply poke fun at. It’s also hard to compare to Stephen King’s novella of the same name published in 1980 because I’ve never read it.

The graphic violence throughout the film and the ending left me cold. I think even the Sven Squad had a difficult time making jokes in between scenes.

That said, the story and characters reminded me of certain kinds of people and certain themes. One kind of person is the cult leader. In the film this would be Mrs. Carmody (Marcia Gay Harden). She was this hyper religious person who acted crazy, yet managed to convince a large number of people that she was the savior who could deliver everyone in the grocery store from the horrible fate lurking in the mist. This turns out to be human sacrifice, which is what some ancient cultures did to appease the gods and also gave them a sense of control over nature.

For some strange reason, she was not eaten by one of the monsters, despite the fact it landed on her chest, climbed up on her neck and sprinkled salt, pepper, and oregano on her face.

It also reminds me of cult leaders who managed to persuade many people to commit suicide, e.g., Jim Jones (Peoples Temple) in the 1970s, Marshall Applewhite (Heaven’s Gate) and David Koresh (Branch Davidians) in the 1990s.

I wasn’t sad about Mrs. Carmody’s fate.

One theme I think of from this movie is hubris. Sure, it’s something that will trigger bad memories for some people of their undergraduate college days, but I think it explains why the military decided they could safely open a portal between dimensions. Hubris is overweening pride and means you’re tempting the gods to destroy you when you think you can get away with sticking your chewing gum under your seat at the movies. People think they can control whatever monsters they find in the universe and can stuff trouble back in Pandora’s box.

Another common idea nowadays is that some otherwise unexplainable creatures you almost never see in real life and never find fossils for (like Bigfoot) might be because they are interdimensional beings. Hey, that works for some people.

So, you can go ahead and keep looking for wormholes and portals that open up the gates of hell and there you go. You just let a mosquito the size of an SUV in the house. Are there doorknobs on portals? Did you listen to your mother when she told you to shut the screen door behind you?

No, and you know who you are.

I got a kick out of Ollie Weeks (Toby Jones) who could shoot a monster by turning his back on it and using a mirror and firing backwards over his shoulder, blasting it into next week. How many bullets did that gun have? I thought it was ten but it seemed like there were more, even though it misfired once. Ollie was a hero without hubris.

I didn’t get the ending and I’m not going to put in a spoiler on it. But it’s another place where the number of bullets in the gun gets to be the focus of some reviewers who have horrible suggestions.

This movie is tough to rate because it takes itself too seriously. The acting was riveting in some scenes and just overdone in others, in my opinion. It’s not for kids, yet there was a little kid who played a big role in it. The ending seems to lend itself mainly to instructions on how to commit homicide and suicide. The cavalry arrives too late. It’s packed with action but it lacks heroes to admire, except for self-effacing, deadeye Ollie.

I’m giving this movie a Shrilling Chicken Rating of 3/5.

Svengoolie Show Movie: “Dracula”

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

I’ve never seen the 1931 Universal production of Dracula and it was a film to marvel, mainly to marvel at Bela Lugosi’s ability to contort those famous hands into spell-binding patterns while commanding hapless victims “I command you; come here!” He didn’t say “bluh, bluh” even once.

I tried to mimic Dracula’s hand gestures and ended up going to the ER to get them unraveled.

Instead of Jonathan Harker (David Manners) traveling to Transylvania according to the Bram Stoker novel, it was Renfield (Dwight Frye) who was the real estate agent making preparations for Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi) to rent out the Motel 6 room (“We’ll leave the spider snacks out for you!”) in London.

Renfield is Dracula’s first victim shortly after his arrival at the castle in Transylvania. You never see fangs on the vampires in this movie, which is pretty refreshing actually. Fake fangs interfere with delivering one’s lines, such as when Dr. Van Helsing (Edward Van Sloan) holds up a mirror to Dracula (which shows he has no reflection), who then smacks it out of his hand:

Dracula: Tho thorry, Doctor Van Helthing. My humble apology. I dithlike mirrors.

There’s this ongoing debate about why wolfsbane instead of garlic was used to ward of Dracula. The explanation is pretty simple really. Nobody could find enough garlic to use because most of it was in the spaghetti sauce often served to the actors for lunch.

There is a little humor in this dark movie. Martin the asylum nurse (Charles K. Gerrard), who’s always chasing after Renfield and taking away the dead chipmunks he insists on eating, has a funny exchange with one of the maids when they’re talking about someone else in the house:

Maid: He’s crazy!

Martin: They’re all crazy except you and me. And sometimes I have my doubts about you.

Maid: You got something on your face, dude!

I think right after this is when Dr. Van Helsing hires Count Chocula with a plan to arrange a cage match with Dracula.

It’s not very well known, but if you noticed that most men in the movie have their hair styled in a way which makes them look like they’re wearing helmets, that’s because they were all using Brylcreem, which was invented in 1928 in Birmingham, England by County Chemicals at the Chemico Works which was shipped to California with the warning label “A Little Dab’ll Do Ya” which Universal obviously ignored.

I think this is an OK movie and I give it a Shrilling Chicken Rating of 3/5.

Svengoolie Movie: “The Gorgon”

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

Well, last night I saw the 1964 Hammer Films movie “The Gorgon,” and the first thing to clear up is the name of the gorgon relating to the underlying Greek mythology which, incidentally, the Svengoolie show clearly did early on.

The gorgons were 3 ugly female creatures with snakes in their hair and if you looked at one of them, you’d turn to stone. The most well-known gorgon was Medusa, which Perseus defeated by only looking at her indirectly in a mirror and slicing off her head. Medusa was the only human gorgon and the other two were named Stheno and Euryale.

The problem is the gorgon’s name which is Megaera. Megaera was part of another trio of monsters in Greek mythology called the Erinyes (Furies). They also had snakes in their hair and their names were Megaera, Alecto, and Tisiphone (who is incorrectly identified as a gorgon in the film). They were the goddesses of vengeance who punished men for crimes like murder of relatives and lying. Gazing at them didn’t turn you into stone, but they could drive you crazy, and inflict disease if you didn’t laugh at your father’s Dad Jokes.

Moving right along, the movie begins with a lot of people in early 20^th century Europe being turned into stoners who smoke pot by the bongful, leading to Dr. Namaroff (Peter Cushing) noticing that many of them ended up getting institutionalized in the madhouse he runs in Vandorf, a small village in Germany, and where he occasionally removes the brains of some of the inmates and who also has a crush on his assistant, Carla Hoffman (Barbara Shelley).

Actually, the stoners literally turn into stone, presumed by some to be a result of the unbelievable potency of the local pot, but watch out, Prof. Karl Meister (Christopher Lee) has an amazing grasp of Greek mythology although even he can’t separate the Erinyes from the Gorgons.

There’s something weird going on and Meister gets a letter from Professor Jules Hetiz (Michael Goodliffe) who has a close encounter of the craggy kind which leads to Meister sending Paul Heitz (Richard Pasco) to dig into the mystery and also bring back some of that righteous pot.

However, Paul has a pretty bad trip on the stuff and ends up in Dr. Namaroff’s hospital for about a week convalescing. He and Carla really hit it off, which Namaroff gets pretty miffed about because Carla is his girl even if she is a little spooky. The local constabulary (the head of which is Inspector Kanof (Patrick Troughton, who was the second Doctor in Doctor Who in 1966) and is very protective of the secret which is behind all the broken furniture and homemade bongs in the forbidding castle in the neighborhood.

The gorgonizing secret of the whole affair gradually gets revealed in confrontation involving a snake pit in which a cobra bites Chuck Norris and after 7 agonizing days—the cobra dies.

I think the movie is fair but it gets the Greek mythology wrong. I give it a 2/5 Shrilling Chicken Rating. You can see it on the Internet Archive.

Svengoolie Movie: “War of the Colossal Beast”

Svengoolie Intro: “Calling all stations! Clear the air lanes! Clear all air lanes for the big broadcast!”

I watched the movie “War of the Colossal Beast” last night. Sena saw only the first few scenes of it in the beginning because she took a bite out of a magical cake she got at Hy-Vee, grew into a giant (had to get a new roof), wandered downtown to the Ped Mall until she found a mushroom, nibbled on it till she shrunk down to normal size and didn’t get back home until the movie was over, so like always, I had to explain the show to her. Based on my Svengoolie movie “reviews” you can imagine how well that went!

Anyway, this movie was released by American International Productions in 1958 and it was a sort of but not really a sequel to their film “The Amazing Colossal Man,” released a year earlier. In that movie, a military man, Col. Glenn Manning got exposed to radiation in Las Vegas and grew to a height of 60 feet which meant he could hit the free throw shot from several miles away. He ran amok and the army lobbed bombs and shot bullets at him until he fell 700 feet off Boulder Dam and everybody assumed he died. Although there are restrictions on seeing this movie in certain venues because of a copyright restriction, you can find it on the web, including the Internet Archive.

In “War of the Colossal Beast,” the story picks up sort of where the not-really-a-prequel left off except, in the beginning of the movie, a lot of food trucks are disappearing from the roads. One of them belongs to John Swanson (George Becwar), a food truck owner whose truck got lost and says repeatedly to the police “Get the picture?” when he tells his account of what he knows about the theft. It doesn’t take long to “get the picture” that this is comic relief.

It turns out that Glenn Manning is filching food from trucks and he’s not sharing any of it with the 50-foot woman who has wandered over from a different movie set and is pretty hungry (partly because she drinks too much) after an extraterrestrial has zapped her with radiation leading to a sudden growth spurt.

A scientist, Dr. Carmichael (Russ Bender) and Maj. Mark Baird (Roger Pace) have “cooked up” a plan to catch Manning using Italian bread spiked with chloral hydrate and evidently, Manning’s sister Joyce (Sally Fraser) approves of this plan. Baird and Carmichael both taste the bread, and neither drops dead even though if there’s enough chloral hydrate in all that bread to knock out a 60-foot-tall man, there should be enough to kill a normal size man after just a small bite. Whatever.

After abandoning a plan to hire Manning to round up all the Bigfoot monsters in the country because he’s too brain injured to remember the details which is not to squash them beyond recognition and allow photographers to take photos of the operation, which may or may not have happened when the Van Meter Visitor (a huge pterodactyl) in Iowa hit town in the early 1900s and flew all over the place munching on the cattle until cowboys and farmers shot it down and then took pictures of it which people claimed they all saw in the local newspaper yet those issues are “not available” for some reason so I guess there’s some kind of Mandela Effect going on or some people are prone to telling “tall tales.”

In the meantime, Manning is being held down by ropes and chains and it’s obvious that he was brain injured in that 700-foot fall in the first encounter. His right eye is missing and some of his teeth are pushed to one side, possibly because of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris (himself) who caught him trying to steal his chloral-hydrate enriched Italian bread.

Somehow, Manning is able to pick the locks of his chains using the same hypodermic needle he harpooned somebody with in the first movie and which he hid in his giant adult diapers (yes, those would be Shorty’s Adult Diapers that Big Mo aka John Heim the KCCK radio wizard of the Big Mo Blues Show describes, “they’re ready when you aren’t!).

The action and the dialogue start to get more complicated towards the end, which I’m going to defer on revealing in order to avoid spoilers (OK, the butler did it).

This is an OK movie although the dialogue gets a little stilted toward the end. I give it a 3/5 Shrilling Chicken Rating.

Svengoolie Movie: “King Kong vs Godzilla”

I watched the 1962 movie “King Kong vs Godzilla” on the Svengoolie show last night and woke up this morning thinking it had to be a parody. So, I looked it up on the web and sure enough, there’s a Wikipedia article about the film stating director Ishiro Honda said it was a satire of the television industry in Japan.

This movie was pretty ridiculous and there was so much over the top slapstick comedy in it that I couldn’t believe anyone would see it as anything but satire. But the internet has many articles that don’t call it satirical.

I remember Sena watched some of it and asked me last night how I was going to rate it. I said “Zero!” at the time, before I found out it was satire. That was after I’d seen the two characters, Kinsaburo Furue (Yu Fujiki) and Keji Sahaka (Kazuo Fujita) encounter with the island natives who accepted gifts of cigarettes and a transistor radio as a bribe to gain their cooperation.

So, it seems superfluous for me to poke fun of it like I usually do with most of the films on the Svengoolie show. Even he joked about the poor dubbing in this movie.

I’m seeing this as satire and I’d give it a 2.5/5 Shrilling Chicken rating.