This is day 3 of Cow Week with Mike Waters Wake Up Call radio show on KOKZ 105.7. There’s a Sci-Fi angle on the whole cow thing today. Mike’s really hard to keep up with, but today there was this incident involving a cow flying through his window with a note with instructions on it. Allegedly, the cow also had a wormhole vortex bracelet on its ankle. Mike has to leap through the wormhole and I guess has to sit through the weirdest patchwork of 60-year-old filmstrips about (what else?) dairy farms!
OK, I searched the web and it turns out there are tons of old educational videos of ancient filmstrips about dairy farming. Of course, I can’t find any that have the crazy dialogue you hear from Mike Waters traveling down the wormhole. But I got close. There’s one which sounds like something I could have watched in grade school but don’t remember because maybe I blocked it from my memory.
In fact, it reminds me of a field trip me and my classmates made in (what, 4th grade?) out to a real farm. I don’t think it was a dairy farm, per se, but one of our classmates lived on a farm. Her mom apparently cut a deal with our teacher to lead a sort of tour of the farm one day. I don’t remember much about it except we all got a chance to ride a pony! Why we didn’t get a chance to try milking a cow I’ll never know, but you can’t have everything. Remember, we were kids and had no rights.
Anyway, the Sci-Fi angle evidently has two parts, Part 1 of which is today and Part 2 will be tomorrow! I can’t imagine how it’ll turn out, but I wonder if it’ll be like the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of the visit to Uncle Jim’s dairy farm—absolutely no relation to me.
And what about Mike’s story about cow gallstones being worth $5800 per ounce? They’re more valuable than gold. I don’t think that’s a joke, hey. Mike’s point is that maybe we need to harvest those gallstones before the cows are slaughtered for steaks!
Warning: If you’ve been turned into a cow-you can’t go home. And watch out for tomorrow, the 2nd half of the Mike Water Sci-Fi thing involves Soylent Milk. You didn’t hear it from me.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 
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