Go Retire Psychiatrist

Would you like to know what my all-time most read blog post is? It’s “Whatever Happened to Miracle Whip?” And it’s the one which has the most comments. Go figure.

This morning I was going to send a product inquiry to Kraft Heinz, which makes Miracle Whip. But I can’t do it without entering a UPC Code and a Manufacturing Code because they’re on the package—which I don’t have right now because we don’t have a jar in the house.

I’m pretty sure most of the commenters have done this already. But my inquiry will have to wait until I can persuade Sena to buy a jar. That could take a while. She hates Miracle Whip because she thinks it’s tasteless and prefers mayonnaise.

For the record, I thought the flavor had changed from when I was a kid. I just put that down to my taste buds getting older. But there are a lot of people out there who swear the company changed the recipe.

This is beginning to sound a little like the Roswell UFO “hiding the alien bodies” conspiracy that got started in 1947.

Admittedly, the number of views and comments are not that numerous. The point is, none of my other posts get nearly as many—not even close.

I may need a little help here convincing Sena to buy even a small jar of Miracle Whip. What could happen is that I’d get a canned reply defending the position that there is no secret lab employing extraterrestrials cooking up Miracle Whip loaded with tiny tracking devices impervious to stomach acid and which have been tracking humans for millennia and possibly longer, in pursuit of some nefarious plot to take over the planet and turn us into Miracle Whip zombies happily churning out a Soylent Green-like product (no, I have not seen that movie) which will make it easier to induce us to mate with THEM and return us to their home planet in some galaxy far, far away where Miracle Whip is a narcotic and blah, blah, blah….

If you can’t beat them….