How many farts can old fart fart if an old fart walks to fart? I’m sure you’ve heard that one by now after a recent news article suggested that farting while going for a walk on the street after dinner (or any meal) could make you healthier.
It’s not like the only reason is that you get rid of gas and increase intestinal motility to prevent constipation. Some medical experts say it can help control blood sugar.
But you have to fart walk within an hour of finishing a meal to control the glucose spike. You could call it the fart walk sweet spot. There are social implications, especially if the fart walk becomes a growing trend.
What the heck should you wear on fart walks? Windbreakers.
For some reason, Artificial Intelligence (AI) has a lot to say about flatulence, but I usually pass gas over it to move on to other websites to find what might be more reliable information than you get from AI.
While farting a couple dozen times a day can be normal, if you can’t leave your house because of your Frequency Of Odoriferous Farting Impulse (FOOFI), you might want get it checked out.
Eating a lot of fiber-rich foods can lead to digestive problems that can lead to excessive flatulence. Have you noticed that when you’re in a crowd, people tend to sprint away from you? When you’re in an elevator, do people push any button to get off, even if it’s in the basement, or even between floors?
By the way, did you hear about the guy who farted on an elevator? It was wrong on so many levels.
The food choice thing can be the downside of what often happens when you follow the advice of health care professionals who tell you to avoid carbs and eat more fruits and vegetable. This can happen to guys who hit middle age and start to get that big belly. I’m not sure that the diet change will help much, especially since new studies show that guys can produce more belly fat cells as they get older.
What do you call a large, hairy cryptid who eats too much beef jerky? Bigfart.
Certain diseases can be linked to farting, like irritable bowel syndrome, celiac disease, bowel obstruction, and constipation. Funny, I thought farting was supposed to prevent constipation.
What do you say to someone who has made a commitment to daily fart walks? Conflatulations!
Go Retire Psychiatrist 