We have noticed that the AARP is sponsoring the Rolling Stones Hackney Diamonds Tour 2024. I don’t think it’s necessary to point out that, with all due respect, the Rolling Stones have long ago passed fossil status.
I guess that means it’s fitting that the AARP sponsor a rock music group the members of which are eligible to join the organization formerly known as Prince. Sorry, I meant to say formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons.
Obviously, the Rolling Stones are not thinking about retirement. But unless they can come up with a plausible explanation for the name of the tour, Hackney Diamonds, they should probably not be eligible for the free tote bag the AARP offers to those who become members.
A hackney is a horse drawn carriage. A diamond is a precious stone. The Rolling Stones have thankfully clarified that, obviously, the Hackney Diamonds tour name comes from the well-known legend of the hackney cab driver who drove through the streets of a town called Hackney in London in the 17th century, tossing out diamonds to passersby if they could guess how many angels could dance on the head of a pin during a snowstorm in the Sahara Desert.
That’s about as clear as the explanation given by Keth Richards and Mick Jagger in an interview with Jimmy Fallon as reported in an article written by Tom Skinner in NME on September 7, 2023.
Anyway, the Rolling Stones have been a big deal for decades, of course and they get mentioned in a lot of different ways. For example, in the movie Men in Black 3, there’s a conversation between Agent J and young Agent K in a café which is prompted by the need to eat pie in order to clear their minds of the case they’re working on which is trying to stop the murderous bad guy, Boris the animal, from destroying Earth. Young Agent K stipulates the rule is to talk about anything about the case and to let the pie do its magic. You’ll never guess what they talk about but it goes like this:
“Young Agent K: You said we don’t talk, right? Go ahead, ask me any question. Anything you want, just as long as it doesn’t have to do with the case… just let her rip.
Agent J: What’s up with you and O?
Young Agent K: Me and O?
Agent J: Yeah, you and O.
Young Agent K: All right, all right… all right, this is it. A while back, I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician, Mick Jagger. He was in this British group, Rolling Stones…
Agent J: Rings a bell.
Young Agent K: We believed he’s on the planet to breed with Earth women, so I was in London and that’s when I met O. She’s smart, funny… great smile and we find ourselves in this pub, Whistler’s Bar, warm beer and the worst food you ever ate. We just played darts till the sun came up, neither of us wanted to leave…”
And I can remember that Microsoft used the Rolling Stones 1981 song, “Start Me Up” in their promotion of Windows 95 computer operating system. You remember that; it was a total loser which led to the evolutionary creation of a dozen operating systems, all of them laughably dysfunctional. I should know—I bought all of them.
So, the Rolling Stones turn up a lot in pop culture. Everybody knows that. That’s in part because of their stamina—and maybe doggedly persistent denial of aging leading to a refusal to ever retire, just drop on stage because their bones finally disintegrate.
So, returning to the question of why AARP (pronounced arf only with a p on the end) is sponsoring the Rolling Stones tour. I have no clear idea except that I think the organization wants to broaden appeal for the organization so that more dues paying young people join, adding money to help support those over 50 to maintain financial stability and security.
What I don’t understand is that, in part, this implies trying to work as advocates (read “lobby”) in Congress. All those old farts in Congress can do is argue and a some of them should seriously think about retiring. If they can’t command respect, they could at least get a free tote bag by joining AARP.
But the Rolling Stones don’t need free tote bags. They’ve earned their fossil status many times over. On the other hand, I have earned my certificate from the state legislature.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 