Ok, the other day, we were out to U-Haul, not to get more boxes, thank goodness, but so I could use the bathroom.
There was this new sign on the door laying down the law about how construction workers should keep it clean-or else.
You should know that the Iowa City U-Haul is building a huge new facility with tons of self-storage. I can’t tell you how much money we’ve spent on boxes, packing wrap, and tape and more. We kept going back for more punishment.
After the moving was done, I couldn’t bring myself to even look at the U-Hall sign whenever we passed it. It just reminded me of the pain. I can’t even avoid it when I look out the hotel window. Yes, there are two U-Haul centers, one in Coralville and the big one going up in Iowa City. I can see the Huge U-Haul sign rising above the Long Horn Steakhouse. I can’t unsee it.
I remember detasseling corn when I was a kid, and some of you may remember that if you grew up in the midwest where people grow corn just to torture kids who need a summer job. At the end of the day of detassling, when I collapsed on my bed, my hands curled into claws from grabbing tassels, I would close my eyes-and not be able to sleep because I would hallucinate with closed eyes miles and miles of corn fields.
The same kind of thing happened after all the packing was done. I closed my eyes and saw nothing but corrugated cardboard boxes. I can’t unsee it.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, the U-Haul lavatory law. How do you ban the construction guys from using the bathroom? They’re the ones building the new U-Haul complex, complete with a zillion self-storage units.
More important, what did the construction guys do to get the book thrown at them like that? Did they try to flush boxes down the toilet? Did they stick packing wrap all over the mirror? Did they tape the flush lever down? It’s impossible to tell now; the bathroom is spotless.
I’m tempted to ask the U-Haul clerks about it. But that means I would have to return to U-Haul. Not that. Can’t do it; won’t do it. You can’t make me. I’ll use another bathroom.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 