The title of the post is actually a clue to the solution to a picture puzzle riddle I made about the Svengoolie show movie last night, which was “The Lost World,” released in 1960. Svengoolie did one of his picture puzzle riddles which he calls “Too Drawn Out,” which uses a series of pictures to express something about the movie, often one of the actors. It was at the beginning of the show and shortly before that, I had made my own version. I wondered if we were going to be in sync on the riddle.
We weren’t. He drew a couple of pictures, the first one of which depicted a person being clawed by a bear. The second picture showed a cowboy holding the reins of a horse. That segues right into one of the stars in “The Lost World,” Claude Rains. Get it? No? Then have a look at the one I made, which is in a similar vein.
OK, did you guess? If you looked up who starred in the movie, one of them was the subject of a Billy Crystal meme in the 1980s on Saturday Night Live. For those who have seen “The Lost World,” another hint is this actor was often singing a song while strumming a bright yellow guitar, which never picked up any dirt from the land that time forgot in which he and a number of other explorers hunting for living dinosaurs were stranded for a while.
Still stuck? The first drawing is a kind of plant, a fern. I think ferns were around with the dinosaurs and outlived them after the mass extinctions. The second picture is a common symbol. It’s an ampersand, which also means “and.” The third picture shows a roller pin on rolled out dough. And the last picture is of South American animals related to camels—llamas, which pretty much gives the game away. The answer to the riddle is the guy in the movie who always looked “marvelous.” If you thought of Fernando Lamas, the actor who played Gomez in the movie, give yourself a hand.
So, what about the movie “The Lost World?” It starred Claude Rains as Professor Challenger, aptly named probably in part because people found it very challenging to get along with him. He never lost his umbrella (which he sometimes used to punish those who disagreed with him) during the whole trip through the lost world full of volcanic quagmires, giant dinosaurs, and cannibals, huge spiders, man-eating plants and whatnot.
Professor Challenger claims to a group of explorers in London that he’s discovered an island harboring living dinosaurs, which gives everybody a chance to laugh themselves silly, especially when he says he’ll need funds to cover the cost of the expedition, including tickets to Space Mountain. The editor of a newspaper puts up $100,000 to fund the trip, which somehow convinces leaders that this a good bet after all—money talks.
The group includes a reporter named Malone (played by David Hedison) who Professor George Edward Challenger (Claude Rains) bopped on the head with his umbrella, Sir John Roxton (Michael Rennie), Jennifer Holmes (Jill St. John) who wears bright pink stretch paints which was pretty dirt resistant the whole movie, Professor Summerlee (Richard Haydn, who among his film credits was in The Sound of Music), and Gomez (Fernando Lamas) who definitely believes it’s better to look good than to feel good.
When they get to the island, they encounter the dinosaurs almost right away. These are not the stop action models authentic-looking creatures which was the original plan because it turned out to be too costly for production, maybe because it would have cut into cigarette money for the actors.
It was cheaper to trick out big monitor lizards and alligators with horns and plates and then provoke them into a fight which got Fox studios into trouble with the Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
The group blunders around the island and eventually they find an old logbook which implicates Sir Roxton as a liar and a greedy cad who abandoned the members of a previous expedition (almost all of whom died) to find diamonds which he never found, which Costa (Jay Novello) another member of the group, gets pretty excited about. Costa tries to get Gomez excited about diamonds too, but he’s pretty mad at Roxton because one of the members of the previous expedition turned out to have been Gomez’ brother.
Pink pants, I mean Jennifer Holmes, who at first wanted to marry Roxton for his title and prestige, now snubs him and shows it by not accepting a cigarette from him. Jennifer brought along her kid brother, David (Ray Stricklyn) and her dog Frosty (which looks like an ancient creature itself, yet gets top billing for some reason: “Frosty, A Dog”). Frosty never gets killed despite being completely helpless and needing to be carted around in what looks like a picnic basket for the whole movie.
The group captures a native girl (Vitina Marcus) who takes a shine to David. Neither of them speaks the other’s language, and the native girl demonstrates her knowledge of how to shoot a rifle, which makes everybody wonder where the island gun shop is. It turns out that the rest of the tribe of cannibals, which later capture them to prepare for a ritual sacrifice, have been keeping one member of the previous expedition, Burton White (Ian Wolfe) alive because he’s blind and it is taboo to kill a blind man. I guess they don’t immediately kill Frosty because they don’t have enough vanilla for the recipe to make what would eventually become the inspiration for the world’s first Frosty malt.
Anyway, White gives the group the remainder of his guns, which the cannibals let him keep evidently because guns are hard to chew. The group takes off on the perilous journey through the volcanic path which turns into something like the Greek myth of Scylla and Charybdis (the devil and the deep blue sea. This is more like molten lava and a dinosaur who has a taste for humans, gobbling up Costa and Gomez (it is better to taste good than to feel good)), both of whom flop back and forth just like small GI Joe size dolls in the lizard’s mouth.
Eventually, what’s left of the group make it out to safety. They lament the lack of any good evidence for dinosaurs to take back with them to civilization—until Professor Challenger pulls out a dinosaur egg. He drops it and it cracks revealing the “Tyrannosaurus rex” iguana squirming around leading to a remarkably Svengoolie-like joke as the final lines of the movie:
Roxton: “…Will it be all right?
Challenger: “It’ll live long enough to grow as big as a house and terrify all London.”
David: “Then what’ll we do?”
Challenger: “Well, we’ll move out of London as fast as possible!”
And a good time was had by all.
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