Tag: Thanksgiving

Trapped Turkeys Make Great Escape Before Thanksgiving!

A couple of days ago we saw what I think is called a rafter of wild turkeys in our neighbor’s back yard. It’s fenced in and it looked like they were all toms. They acted like they couldn’t figure out how to get over the fence, even though they can fly.

There’s something ludicrous about a bunch of tom turkeys who are twitchy and apparently unable to just fly over the fence. This is despite the fact that I couldn’t see how the heck they got inside the fence in the first place—other than by flying over it. The gates are usually closed. On the other hand, there is a retaining wall on the other side of the yard that they could have just dropped down from.

Turkey see, turkey do.

I couldn’t see any hens; so maybe that means hens are smart enough not to get into situations like that.

A male and a female cardinal seemed to perch in a tree above the turkeys and maybe were trying to encourage them. A couple of toms who managed to fly out seemed also to be gobbling advice.

They started to get a clue about flying out after a while. Eventually they all flew out, but not before my camera’s battery power drained too low to capture the last escapees.

Pleiadian Zombie Turkeys

We noticed the wild turkeys hung back close to edge of the woods this morning. They didn’t move out across the open land or trot across our back yard like they usually do. It’s easy to imagine that they might be more wary because they know it’s Thanksgiving Day.

Usually a dozen or so get out foraging in the early morning. I’m not sure if a dozen counts as a rafter, which is another name for a flock of them.

I’ve never heard them gobble, but you can hear them from as far away as a mile, or so I’ve read. I think the turkeys in our area might not be ordinary turkeys.

Maybe they’re more of a landing party rather than a rafter—of alien, zombie turkeys from the Pleiades. I would suspect that Pleiadian Zombie Turkeys (PZTs) can fly space craft about as well as any other alien species. That means they regularly crash them, if you believe the whole Roswell saga. I’m not sure why we think aliens are so much more intelligent than earthlings if they can’t drive any better than us.

The zombie aspect likely comes from turkeys who are slaughtered as the main course for the Thanksgiving Day menu and then are beamed up through a wormhole to the Pleiades, where they become zombified. After that, as PZTs they make regular missions to Earth to try to free their turkey brethren.

These missions often fail. It turns out that PZTs ae no better at rescue missions than driving spaceships. They can peck at assorted crap on the ground and scratch the dirt underfoot for more, which they could use as ammo for ray guns—except they can’t carry (much less shoot) ray guns. They can fly up to 55 miles an hour, leap tallish trees at a single bound, see poultry seasoning salesmen coming from a long way off—but compulsively dance in the dirt when they should be rescuing their brethren.

Well, that’s food for thought anyway. By the way, I’ve seen Pleiadian spelled a couple of different ways, so please cut me some slack today. Have a nice Thanksgiving.