Sena purchased some Spam products, some of which I didn’t know the Spam company made. They make different flavors. No kidding, there’s Hickory Smoke, Hot & Spicy, Korean BBQ, Sasquatch toe jam with satanic sauce.
She ordered only one can of the Hot & Spicy, and they sent a whole case by mistake, but charged for only one can.
There’s a huge Spam web site and the main company is in Austin, Minnesota. There’s a question-and-answer section which you’d expect would have an answer for the question about what the name “Spam” even means. It turns out nobody’s sure; it could be short portmanteau word for spiced and ham.
What do you call the body of water off the coast of Mexico after a tankerful of canned spiced ham is spilled into it? The Gulf of Spamerica.
This Spam thing reminded us of weird food enthusiast, Andrew Zimmern, and his show “Bizarre Foods” which we used to cringe at. He’ll eat almost anything but he hates Spam.
What’s in Spam anyway, that even Zimmern can’t stand to eat? It’s made of pork with ham, salt, water, potato starch, sugar, and sodium nitrite. The sodium nitrite part reminds me of Iowa’s KCCK radio blues music show host John Heim aka Big Mo, who often talks about MayRee’s hand battered catfish, “packed with nitrates, cooked to perfection with manic delight.”
So, it turns out that Spam is packed with nitrates too and you shouldn’t eat it every day. They do make healthier kinds of Spam, including Spam Lite (50% less fat, 25% less sodium, 33% fewer calories, made with hypomanic delight) and Spam 25% Less Sodium.
What do you call the part of a bridge extension between multiple piers which is made of canned nitrate-reinforced ham and pork shoulder? A continuous spam.
There’s no real urban legend about them—yet, but there might be little Spam zombies out there called spambies who really like Spam, possibly because the color might remind them of brain. They’ll steal it if you’re not hiding it.
Why couldn’t the spambie father any children? He had a low spam count.
Anyway, even though I can’t recall eating Spam when I was a kid, it’s entirely possible and the trauma left me with amnesia.
By the way, if King Arthur had eaten spiced ham and pork shoulder packed with nitrates every day for lunch, what would he have called his castle? Spamelot.
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