Sena finally got her Lume products delivered yesterday. That’s right, I said “Lume,” the total body odor remover you see being advertised on TV. I can’t bear to watch them, which might say something about how we’re socialized to avoid confronting our own B.O. In my defense, the commercials have been described as “in your face.”
The packet arrived after 11 days, starting its delivery journey in Kentucky. I suspect the recent bad winter weather had a lot to do with the delay. The postal service delivered it and the products inside were frozen. The Acidified Deodorant Wipes package was a solid brick and I bet you could have broken a window with it.
Sena ordered the Lume products with the goal of experimenting with them to just to see if they work as advertised. The long message Lume sent after the delivery was interesting:
UPS has marked your package as delivered! This is one of the best days of my life, second only to when you placed your order.
Please allow an additional 1-2 business days for your lovingly prepared package to arrive on your doorstep. Sometimes packages are marked as “delivered” while they’re still in your faithful mail carrier’s bag or looking cute in the mail truck.
If you still haven’t received your Lume in 2 more business days, please contact us! (Not to brag, but we are pros at Where’s WaldoTM.)
Tips & Tricks for Becoming a Lume Pro
Prep Your Clothes & Prime Your Pits
Body odor happens in two places: ON your skin and IN your clothes. Learn how to both places ready for outrageously effective odor control on our Getting Started Page!
We Had to Break Some Rules to Be This Good
What’s that smell? It’s the sweet smell of science! Our water based cream rubs in like a lotion, and because Lume is not like ordinary deodorant, it doesn’t smell like ordinary deodorant. A natural, unexpected, fleeting scent leaves you smelling like nothing at all.
Pits, Feet, and Privates
Odor reactions are the same no matter where they happen on our body! You can use Lume anywhere you have external odor but wish you didn’t. Yes, even there.
Have Some *Private* Questions?
No need to be coy. We all have private parts, and we all have odor! Find answers to your questions on our FAQ page or by messaging our knowledgeable team at website address. (Trust us, we’ve heard ALL the questions.)
Doubts have been raised about whether or not the deodorant keeps you odor free for 72 hours. I’m not sure what to make of the claim. Most deodorants and antiperspirants that have been on the market for years make that claim. I’m not sure how you’d verify it. I don’t generally go without showering for several days. I’m likely to wash the deodorant off well before 72 hours after application.
Along those lines, there’s also a product like Lume for men now, called Mando. I’m not sure why the name was chosen. It can be short for mandolin or Mandalorian (fictional male warrior character in the Star Wars franchise) among other meanings, usually suggesting machismo.
The Mando product may or may not be connected to the acquisition of Lume by Harry’s Inc. (maker of men’s personal care products) in 2021. According to the web, Mando was launched in 2023.
So, the logical question, of course, is when will the Bigfoot deodorant be released? Hey, it’s well known that Bigfoot stinks to high heaven, and while explanations differ about what he smells like and why, there’s no reason not to develop a total body deodorant for Bigfoot. It could be called Bigfoot B.O. Begone (BBOB for short). It has a ring to it. And there’s even a Minnesota connection relevant to the Lume/Mando creator. The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization (BFRO) have documented at least 75 sightings in Minnesota.
BBOB could lead to making him less shy and more willing to share his favorite food, which is beef jerky. And we’re always talking about Bigfoot as though there are only males in the species. The classic 1967 Patterson/Gimlin film of Patty the female Bigfoot (with boobs no less) clearly illustrates the need for an “under boobs” deodorant for the Sasquatch tribe. It would probably have to last more than 72 hours.
I’m not making any guarantees here, but there may be an update to this post.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 