door painters – Go Retire Psychiatrist

The door painters remembered everything but the 3-legged pig joke yesterday. But they remembered everything else. They worked pretty hard getting the doors back on the hinges.

One mystifying thing was that they rehung all the newly repainted doors without leaving so much as a smudge on them. They were spotless. We don’t know how they did it.

Anyway, the 3-legged pig joke is below:

One day a man drove by a farm and saw a three-legged pig. The man went up to the farmer and said, “Excuse me, but why does that pig only have 3 legs?”

“Well,” said the farmer, “that pig is very special. One time my wife was cooking something she stepped out of the kitchen and it caught on fire. No one in the house knew about it but the pig, and he saved me, my wife, and my 2 kids.”

“That’s amazing!” said the man, but why does the pig only have three legs?”

“Well, there was that time the pig saw a big storm coming and we didn’t. The pig ran into the house and dragged us out to the storm cellar. If it weren’t for that pig we would all be dead.”

“But still, that doesn’t explain why the pig only has 3 legs.”

“And I remember the time my youngest son was stuck up a tree, but I was too far away to hear his cries for help. The pig ran to me and led me to where he was.”

“Well, that is a miracle, but how come that pig only has 3 legs?” the man said quite annoyed at this point.

“Well,” said the farmer, “with a pig that special… you have to eat ’em real slow.”

Hey, I don’t write these jokes. That one came from a web site called Funny English Jokes.

We just got our upstairs doors picked up by the painters yesterday. They took all the doors off the hinges and taped numbers on them to keep track. They’ll probably finish them and return them by the end of the week. Two guys removed the doors and one of them had a dad joke for me:

“A man was driving along the motorway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 60 mph. He accelerated to 70, and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, but the chicken overtook him.

Then the man noticed that the chicken had three legs. So, he followed the chicken, speeding all the way, and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens on the farm had three legs.

When he spotted the farmer he asked him, “Where did you get these chickens?”

The farmer replied “Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I’m going to be a millionaire.”

The man was impressed and asked him how they tasted. The farmer said, “Don’t know, I haven’t caught one yet.”

Now, he didn’t tell it exactly that way, but it was just as funny. It was the first time I heard the 3-legged chicken story. Of course, as with any sort of hairy dog (hairy chicken?) story, there are different versions of it. I looked this up on the internet and Ronald Reagan told it. It was posted 12 years ago, has 2 million views, 32,000 likes, and about 1800 comments.