What’s Up with Tree Bags?

Sena got some tree bags for keeping our trees watered. They don’t come with explicit instructions; I’ve never had to deal with them. As always, I suspect extraterrestrials and other strange beings are involved.

Apparently, the tree bags are supposed to provide enough water for young trees so they grow and thrive in your yard.

Here’s what I found when I consulted the extraterrestrial manual for help. There are certain factors to be aware of, such as you want to make sure you get tree bags on sale. A reasonable price is around several thousand dollars, so you want to arrive at Lowe’s or wherever with a wheelbarrow full of cash.

There’s no fancy water sewer hookup. You have to haul the water out to the tree bag so you can immediately accidentally dump it on your clothes. This is mandatory.

Be on the lookout for wandering elfin archers, who use tree bags for target practice. And if the bag doesn’t work out, you can always wear it as a super hero cape.

I’m skeptical about the whole theory behind tree bags. The trouble is it probably doesn’t hold water. See what I did there?

Good luck!

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Author: James Amos

I'm a retired consult-liaison psychiatrist. I navigated the path in a phased retirement program through the hospital where I was employed. I was fully retired as of June 30, 2020. This blog chronicles my journey.

4 thoughts on “What’s Up with Tree Bags?”

  1. You continue to be at the cutting edge. I have never heard of tree bags and I am a tree hugger! Additional downside – that bag looks like it holds at least 100 pounds of water. I hope you don’t have to drag or carry them very far (or the serial buckets.).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m a total zero when it comes to tree bags and just about anything else that has to do with gardening, yard work, etc. That’s why we hired a lawn care guy! I don’t anticipate carrying buckets. My biceps are already slapping off my hands.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Reluctant gardener myself but yesterday my wife dragged me out to remove bushes and replace them (only two). I keep reminding her (to no avail) that old people are not built for working the back 40. My next strategy is telling her about the 40 year old Neanderthal skeletons with severe DJD from dragging wooly mammoth carcasses.

        Liked by 1 person

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