We heard about the marketing of a new cannabis product in Iowa. A company called Climbing Kites makes a beverage that contains low concentration THC and it’s legal to buy it as long as the percentage of Delta 9 THC is not above 0.3%. Their website says funny things like “Fly High: All Buzz, No Booze.” However, it’s not legal to make it in Iowa. So, you just have to make believe you’re drinking it. Just kidding, sort of.
No, seriously, while it’s true it has to be made in Minnesota and shipped back to Iowa, you can buy it in Iowa legally as long as you’re over 21 years old and don’t mind going to prison for 20 years if you’re caught with an open container of the beverage while driving. Relax, that’s a joke. Have another drink! There’s a FAQ web page on the Climbing Kites web site. It’s Iowa’s first THC drink.
That doesn’t mean recreational marijuana is legal in Iowa, at least not yet. Several surrounding states are, though, including Missouri, Illinois, and Minnesota. There’s an interesting article on the future for marijuana legalization in Iowa.
Marijuana is still not legal at the federal level, though. It’s still classified as a Schedule I drug under the Controlled Substances Act. While there is some conflict between the states that legalize recreational marijuana and the federal government, the federal government is not hustling to prosecute in those states.
It’s been a while since I tried marijuana, which really only caused me to think I could feel every blade of grass (the kind you mow) under my feet. It was before the evolution of the paramecium and, as luck would have it, before the invention of matches. This meant I had to chew the marijuana, leading to a gas attack which attracted a pack of dinosaurs. Of course, my gas attack is what led to the first mass extinction of the large reptiles resulting in the formation of the first mammals, who traded the marijuana for cell phones with the Extraterrestrials. It’s hard to know who got over on that deal because mammals came down with the zombie scrolling fixation while the ETs got a case of the stucks, suddenly becoming unable to remember how to drive their spaceships or make basic decisions about abducting cattle or mutilating soybeans. As you know, that led to all the UFO crashes on the planet, eventually making it necessary to hire the Bigfoot clan to re-educate them about how to traverse multiple dimensions in space-time enabling the collection of massive amounts of beef jerky supplies. History tells us this didn’t work out well for the ETs because their mouths are way too small to eat beef jerky.
There are many ways to get high as a kite; the substance high, the runner’s high, the writer’s high, and more. Weighing the good and the bad about them is a difficult task.
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