By now, everybody probably knows about the Intuitive Machine lunar landing of the Odysseus space craft recently, broadcast from NASA. I happened to have a direct audio hookup to the control room during the hot mic episode which somehow didn’t get broadcast last week.
Sam: OK, how’s Odysseus doing?
Doug: Uh, we slightly overshot the planned landing.
Sam: What? How did that happen?
Doug: Not sure, but I heard a crunching noise.
Sam: Crunching? There’s no crunching allowed on this mission!
Doug: It’s OK, we can hit the gas and put it down in a different spot a little further away.
Sam: How far?
Doug: Not much, about 1,000 miles give or take. Almost there; applying disc brakes—now.
Sam: What is Odysseus’ position now?
Doug: Well, it looks like it sort of fell over on its side. But it’s transmitting images.
Sam: Great! What’s coming across?
Doug: Kind of fuzzy. Wait a sec, just need to adjust the rabbit ears here. What’s that?
Sam: Hard to make it out.
Doug: OK, there. It’s yellow, whatever it is. Stand by. Wait, are those wheels?
Sam: Adjust the focus.
Doug: Whatever this yellow thing or vehicle whatever on wheels is—it’s coming closer. Hey, there’s somebody inside!
Sam: Oh my god; a life form! On the moon! Quick, what’s it doing?
Doug: Wow. It just gave me the finger. Since when are taxicabs on the moon?
Sam: Dammit! Are you telling me that Odysseus didn’t even leave Earth?
Doug: No sir! But that moon rock sort of looks like a manhole cover.
Sam: You’re fired, Doug.
Doug: Does that mean the Odysseus Landing Gala and Orgy is off? I don’t think I can return the Counting Kites THC Magnum Cocktails.
Sam: I guess now we’ll have to refund the 118 million dollars from NASA—minus the cocktail charge.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 