The cardinal nest is pretty much done—no eggs yet, though. At least we think it’s a cardinal nest. It looks typical according to experts; loosely woven of twigs, leaves, stucco, and ponderosa pine accents. They’re pretty fussy about us snooping around the backyard evergreen tree they chose to build a home in.
Any day now, we’re hoping to see a clutch of eggs, bluish
white with brown markings. Or maybe pale green with brown-lilac spots. Or
possibly whitish to pale bluish or greenish white, marked with brown, purple,
and gray. Or Hawkeye black and gold. It all depends on which guidebook you read,
I guess.
I’m gradually getting back into bird watching and spending
less time with my head at the hospital (“Earth to Jim!”). Doctors learn to
spend all their time either on the wards or in the clinic. It reminds me of a
couple of scenes from Men in Black (MIB) II.
As Agent J walks into the MIB complex at Battery Park, the
elevator dude says “Don’t you ever go home? Agent J says “Nope.”
Later he drops into Zed’s office and asks, “What you got for
me?”
Zed replies, “Look. See those guys in black suits? They work
here. We got it covered.”
That’s how physicians can get after years of acculturation
into the driven doctor model. Often enough, I take most of the work away from
the trainees, when they’re not looking. And I take my work home—that’s called
pajama time.
Hey, those dudes work here too. I have a tendency to see
myself as almost indispensable, which makes it hard to envision retirement at
times.
I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not the only doc who can do my job. The next generation of doctors are eager and ready. They deserve a chance. But I sometimes catch myself telling old war stories about how hard it was when I was a resident or a junior attending.
“I remember when I had to walk 40 miles to work in the driving
blizzard alternating with blazing heat (it’s Iowa) to get to my 6 x10 foot
office in the basement to stoke the fire in the pot-bellied stove for coffee
and grits at 4:00 in the morning, before the damn birds even get up, milk a few
dozen cows in the atrium, chase the pigs out of the operating rooms and then go
see about a hundred or so consultations before 7:00 in the morning I tell you, then
write notes until midnight, be on call until 3:30 the next morning and do it
all over again. What do you guys know about work?”
I may exaggerate a little bit. Usually there weren’t that
many cows in the atrium.
It can be difficult to unwind from the physician’s
treadmill. But as time goes on, I look forward to seeing the birds build nests,
to see the brand-new eggs, the ugly chicks who look like little dinosaurs until
the feathers grow out. I can pay more attention to the world outside the
hospital, where the new doctors are stoking the fire.