Go Retire Psychiatrist

I see that my two posts on the Miracle Whip taste in which a Kraft-Heinz representative declared that the salad dressing has never been changed has not persuaded at least one person who commented that the recipe has been changed because the Miracle Whip taste has lost its “zing.”

Things do change. Just because I think my aging taste buds are the main reason why it tastes flatter to me doesn’t mean everybody has to agree with me.

Frequently, change is for the better in some cases. I used to work as a surveyor’s assistant in draftsman’s assistant (an “inker” was what they called it back in the day) for a consulting engineers firm called WHKS & Co. in Mason City, Iowa. In the 1970s we had to be out in bad weather for long periods of time to do survey work, like highway improvements.

You better believe that when laser equipped technology came along, that was a game changer. Before that, you had to take your gloves off in below zero weather to crank out angles on a cold theodolite and the “zing” (meaning frostbite) was mostly eliminated when one surveyor could used laser technology to do the job.

On the other hand, we’ve got more than a dozen TV shows that are focused on UFOs. In the 1940s, they got called flying saucers only because news reporters came up with that name. Now things have changed rapidly over the last few years because of the proliferation of UFOS identified by experienced aircraft pilots who consistently describe them doing unheard of maneuvers in the sky, “zinging” at right angles and moving at speeds in excess of many thousands of mph.

While most of the news, especially when they cover the stories involving congressmen, don’t give us enough information to decide what to make of UFOs, real scientists temper the enthusiasm which can distract us from the need to figure out how to study the physics of these objects. What too many people seem to want to do is experience the “zing” of excitement about what critters might be driving them and whether or not they’re just looking for a good BBQ rib joint.

You know, I miss the “zing” of Miracle Whip too. But I believe the company is telling the truth. They didn’t mess with the formulation, as their quick response made clear. I take their statement at face value because I’m not inclined to believe they have a motive to lie about it.

Did you believe Bob Lazar years ago when he told the public at large that he worked on back-engineering UFOs at Area 51? That’s what I’d call a zinger.

That seems to be how things go with change. I remember what the eccentric old guy said in the 1977 film “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” just when the press conference between the town folk who saw the UFOS and military scientists was starting to get serious:

“I saw Bigfoot once! Sequoia National Forest, 1951! It made a sound that I would not want to hear twice in my life.”

That was a zinger that derailed the whole conversation, not just because it was off topic, but it drew attention to yet another controversial phenomenon you can’t prove exists.

The idea that Kraft-Heinz did something to the Miracle Whip formulation that would guarantee the company would lose money on the product doesn’t make sense to me.