Okay, Sena ordered some chair leg cups to protect our wood floors. These are for the new Parsons chairs we got recently.
The cups and how to install them over the chair legs are enough to remind some people of condoms for extraterrestrials. These people have no morals and have not developed the maturity needed to listen to Rossini’s William Tell Overture without yelling at the top of their immature lungs, “Hi Yo, Silver!”
Anyway, we struggled with these condoms, I mean these chair leg prophylactics, I mean Hi Yo, Silver!”
Where was I? Oh, the cups came with no instructions. They are made of tough silicone and one end has a soft covering to enable sliding over carpet or wood floors. The manufacturers give you extra cups because they probably know you’re going to cut them up on your table saw when you figure out it will take approximately 5 hours to install one, just one, on any dining room chair without sustaining serious injury to your fingernails or getting one on just enough only to see it snap off and ricochet off your ceiling into the kitchen garbage disposal where you can gleefully grind it up into tiny condom particles.
Sena tells me the reviews are generally positive. Apparently, people writing these reviews either have no problems installing them on their furniture legs or they are pathological liars.
It really takes two persons to get these on a chair leg, one to hold down the chair, which for reasons known only to chairs, try to run away as soon as you try to put chair leg cups on them. While one person has to press down on specific corners of the cup to press them down, the other has to pull down on the sides.
If by some miracle you get all of the cups installed on the chair legs, you then turn the chair right side up, set it on your carpet or wood floor—and immediately notice that it won’t sit level. You then wonder if the problem was that you removed all the chair leg levelers (those little screw things on the bottom of the legs). Maybe you should not have removed them. Then you try putting the leveler back on, which of course means you have to remove the cup you labored to install, and then reinstall it.
After you do that—voila! The chair still sits cockeyed with one leg shorter than all the rest. Isn’t that clever? Actually, they worked out okay after the first couple and we did have to work as a team.
I think your best bet is to buy a house with dirt floors. You’re welcome.
Go Retire Psychiatrist 