Do Blood Moons Make Aliens Fart?

I have a couple of questions about the total lunar eclipse that’s occurring tonight. First, where’s the best place to observe it? If you consult the best advice on how to watch it, you learn that the first phase (which in Iowa City, Iowa happens at 8:32 PM) is visible in the Southeastern part of the sky and at 3.4 degrees altitude.

Great, it sounds like I need to be where there are no trees or buildings and lying on my belly. The next phase is at 9:27 PM, which is not much better because the altitude is only 11.4 degrees, at 129 degrees azimuth. I’m still learning this jargon, but again, do I need to be able to fly above the tree line to see the first couple of phases?

Should we climb up on our roof to see the lunar eclipse?

Any suggestions are welcome. The next question involves the well-known strangeness that happens during eclipses. Insects and other animals can get goofy about their diurnal cycles and, oh yeah, aliens get really gassy and develop uncontrolled farting.

The Alien Flatulence Syndrome (AFS) is well-described in the scientific literature. No, I’m not going to have a list of references at the end of this post, and it’s for the same reason Beetlejuice won’t tell Lydia his name:

“Because if I tell you, you’ll tell your friends, your friends are callin’ me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a *hell*. Okay? A living hell.”

You can ask anyone on the Ancient Aliens crew for all the evidence you want that Blood Moons cause aliens to fart, then the bowel gas eruptions levitate them to the Blood Moon—where they open used flying saucer dealerships. And that’s the reason why you see so many UFOs.

Which leads us to the explanation for aliens shape-shifting into humans in order to live among us, and do things like play baseball like Exley in the historically accurate X-Files documentary “The Unnatural.” The real reason is they want to be able to buy Beano without being mobbed and forced to show up at shopping centers for openings, sign autographs and so on. Aliens hate lunar eclipses.

I may have to update this post as the lunar eclipse drama approaches tonight—if I can stay awake. This thing gets pretty close to our bedtime.

Just to update us on the total lunar eclipse Blood Mood tonight, we can see the livestream on timeanddate if we’re yawning around the time it starts. Or you can wait for my snapshots, similar in quality to my previous shots of the Worm Moon and Snow Mood in 2021 (I’m just kidding, don’t do it!):

Author: James Amos

I'm a retired consult-liaison psychiatrist. I navigated the path in a phased retirement program through the hospital where I was employed. I was fully retired as of June 30, 2020. This blog chronicles my journey.

2 thoughts on “Do Blood Moons Make Aliens Fart?”

  1. Not sure about the Aliens and farting, but I can say with confidence I did not have to lay on the ground or hang by my toes from a tree etc to see the Eclipse. Lol The lake I went to gave a really good viewing experience. Theres another Eclipse in November, I will go to the same area, And will hopefully do a better job.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Finally, Sena and I saw our first lunar eclipse. I think people will be able to tell my pictures are of the moon, at least. I need a lot more practice. I even used two cameras (one on a tripod) to increase the odds I’d get a great shot. I figured they were good enough for a geezer. We saw the show from our driveway!

      Liked by 2 people

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